Hi! I'm Crystal, The Parenting Coach
Certified Life Coach for Parents
What is Radical Connection in Parenthood?
I get asked this all the time. Radical connection is they way I describe parenting in a peaceful and natural way. It is based on the research of several experts, as well as dozens of other incredible women. It focuses on building connection with your children and through that connection having a powerful relationship that is rooted in love and respect. This connection goes both ways and when you are there, you will find that things happen in a natural and peaceful way. From this state, when children make mistakes or have issues, they will process through them on their own, in a natural way, according to their emotional abilities. This is an amazing thing to watch. This is a process that children learn from and build from. This has changed my motherhood forever.
Children will still make mistakes, have meltdowns, get overwhelmed, do the wrong thing, and cause terrible things to happen. That is all part of being a child and growing up. The amazing thing about radical connection parenting is that through all of these things, they come out stronger, more emotionally intelligent, and with a deeper connection to you, their mother. The process is unlike anything you may have ever seen before, that's why I call it radical.
It is very common to yell at your children, to use threats or rewards to try and change behaviour. All of these actions may yield the result you want in the short term, but they also train behaviours that don't. In the long term, the patterns of rewards and threats or consequences will develop a relationship that operates according to set terms and protocols, rules and boundaries. It will also be a relationship where rules will try to be broken and boudoirs skirted, all in a way that will hopefully not be caught or is just grey enough that it doesn't trigger the negative response. These patterns build relationships of disconnection and low trust, and typically are high conflict. Choosing to build a relationship on radical connection is choosing to go down a different path.
It isn't easy to be a connected parent, a peaceful or natural parent, that is why I have built my coaching practice on helping mothers learn how to manage their emotions and be the parenting expert in their home. The best thing a mother can do when a child has a meltdown is not to have a meltdown back at the child. That is where coaching comes in, the first step is getting you to the place where you can stand on high ground and be the support your child needs when they are having a fit. I know this can be a really hard thing to do, my children give me ample opportunities to practice what I preach.
I would love to talk to you about your parenting journey, join me in my program for mom called By Design. In By Design you will get the training and support you need to become a connection, and relationship focused parent.