The Parenting Coach Podcast with Crystal

S03|25 - Minimalism and Eco-Friendly Living with Ashley Andrasko

Feb 14, 2022

Ashley has a passion for helping others simplify their homes and lives into functional, sustainable, and eco-friendly spaces. Ashley believes that minimizing clutter helps build a mindset to live life intentionally in the places we love.

What you will hear on the show today:

Ashley and Crystals minimalism journey
How to get started in small ways
Minimalism + de-cluttering with kids and families
Eco-friendly and non-toxic living

Connect with Ashley: www.starttosimplify.com
IG: @starttosimplify
Mentioned in the episode: @goingzerowaste and the book is HERE

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I would be honored to be your coach and help you get the changes you want to see in your life. The tools that I talk about in my podcast and use in my coaching have completely turned around my life and my relationships with my children. I know what it takes and how to make it happen. You can use the links below to get more of my content and to learn what we do in my program By Design. I love helping women tap into their inner expert and build radical connection in their relationships with their children.

Link to membership: By Design
Find me on the ‘gram: The.Parenting.Coach
My website: coachcrystal.ca
Work with me 1:1 right HERE

Episode Transcript

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hey, I'm Crystal, a certified life coach and mom of four. In this podcast, we combine radical connection and positive parenting theories with the How-To Life Coaching Tools and Mindset Work to completely transform our relationship with our children.

Join me on my journey, unleash your inner parenting expert, and become the mother you've always wanted to be. Make sure you subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast and rate this podcast on Apple, and check out my transformative monthly membership for moms in the show notes.

Ashley Andrasko’s background, and what she does

Welcome to today's podcast, Minimalism and Eco-Friendly Living with Ashley Andrasko.

Hey, Ashley, welcome to the podcast.

Ashley Andrasko: Thank you for having me.

Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, Ashley and I are actually friends in real life. I know a lot of people I have on here are Instagram friends with, but I actually know Ashley. We met over in Quebec when I was living over there, and my husband was going to school and her husband was going to school.

We connected over there; and since then, she has been talking a lot on Instagram about two things that I love; so, I had to have her on. I've also had her come and talk to my group coaching program.

Those two things are; eco-friendly living and minimalism. Those are two passions that we both share; and I love what she talks about, and how she can help us in both of those areas of our lives. So, if you are interested in that, listen along and connect with her.

And before we dive into that, Ashley, do you want to just tell us a little bit about you?

Ashley Andrasko: Sure. So, I am currently living in Arizona. We've done a lot of moving; and that's what we'll talk about how it all started, the minimalism, how that began. And moving certainly does – as, Crystal, you know also too well that – that will help you realize exactly how much you have and encourage you to re-view your life and make more intentional choices.

But yeah, I have a huge passion for being eco-friendly as well, and that's evolved slowly into being more non-toxic in their home. And I think that all of those things are their own journey. It doesn't happen overnight, but every single day we're just looking to try and get a little bit better.

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes, exactly. I think that's such a key thing because I remember the last time I was on Instagram and I had shared something about like the little storage unit that houses all of our belongings – that's quite small right now.

And someone was like, 'Oh my goodness, that I have more stuff than just that myself without my family.' And I was like, 'Yeah, but this is like-- this is like the end of my journey.' Well, I mean, hopefully not the end, but like, this is very far into it.

It's been like, like – I don't even know how many years – at least five years for me, maybe longer that I've been really into minimalism and still growing with the eco-friendly, non-toxic stuff, but again, several years.

And so, it's hard to, you know, judge based on somebody else, but it's more just like, where I was versus where I am now.

Ashley's minimalism journey

Crystal The Parenting Coach: And just those like tiny little changes, which I know you're going to give us so many great tips of changes that we can start to make, especially if you're listening and you're just, like, new in this journey, and you're like, 'Oh, what-- What can I do? How can I start?' So, why don't you start with your story, your minimalism story, how that came to be for you?

Ashley Andrasko: Well, you referenced earlier that we both moved to the East Coast; and I remember when we were moving there and looking at moving companies – and how much they were going to charge to ship our belongings from Alberta to Quebec, they charged based on the weight of the goods that you are shipping.

And so, we really reevaluated everything that we owned because we realized we were going to pay to keep each and every item that we are going to ship. And that was a different perspective than what most people have on their items.

And so, we learned that people owned thousands and thousands of pounds of goods. And when we moved, we went down to the basics. We had, didn't have a kitchen table, we didn't have couch, didn't have a tv. We went down just to the very basics, and we had 1500 pounds.

And then when I talked to my aunt who had moved from BC to Alberta, and she was like, 'Oh, we're at 9,000,' that was what her family's goods weighed in at. And I was like, 'Man, that's an expensive move just to move your belongings.'

But then also this whole concept of not just unpacking it, but then living with all of that weight; and the physical weight of it, yes – but also, the emotional weight that comes with keeping 9,000 pounds or even 1500.

Like, there's just a lot more than I think we realize that we deal with on a daily basis in our homes. So, that kind of sparked it. And then, you know, when you're living in a small space – like we were both doing in Montreal – you have to like look at everything that you have in your home.

And if you're not using it, and if you don't love it, then it just becomes an irritation in your home. And why we keep those things is like a real question that I had to dive into more; like why are we holding on to these items that we don't like or that we don't find beautiful?

And so, that's where it all kind of started. And I'm sure you've had experiences with that as well; like learning how to let go of things, and overcoming certain emotions of why you're attached to something or you can't let it go.

Crystal's minimalism journey

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah, I am-- I'm going to mention my story just really quickly. Because I knew that eventually we were going to move, like I think this had started, like we had built a house and we'd moved into our house, which I hate moving; and we'd moved into this big house.

And I constantly felt like I was cleaning it. Like I was just always cleaning; and I would clean like this big main floor area, and then the basement would be messy the next day.

And I'd clean that up and then I'd go do like the upper floor; and then I'd clean that up, and I was like, 'Nothing is ever clean up once because this is too big of a space, and we have too many things.'

And so, that's what kind of got me started. But when I was continuously learning more about minimalism and really getting into it, what I realized was how much stuff I had, how much time I spent taking care of that stuff, and fixing stuff and cleaning up stuff and putting away stuff and buying stuff.

I even spent a lot of time buying stuff; and how eliminating that part of my life so that it wasn't so based on stuff helped me to increase my relationships – and my focus on my relationships with my family and with my friends, and experiencing life instead of just experiencing stuff. So, that was definitely what it was for me.

Emotions one experiences through the minimalism journey

Crystal The Parenting Coach: But there was-- There was definitely some emotions trying to go through and get rid of all of that stuff. So, what are some emotions that you see when you're helping people or when you've gone through your own minimalism journey that kind of keep them stuck?

Ashley Andrasko: Yeah. There's a lot of different things I think people face; and one, I think is this idea of what our home should be – or like, how many throw pillows should be on a couch or these really bizarre levels that we set for ourselves or that our family has, and then they impose those beliefs on you, right?

You know, I've had people come into my home; and they're like, where's all your stuff? I honestly take that as a compliment. I'm like, sweet.

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

Ashley Andrasko: But to them they're like, 'Well, you don't have like nail polish lining, like your bathroom counters?' And I'm like, no. Like, I just-- I don't feel the need for that. And so, sometimes I can feel really proud of it; and other times, it's like, people think you have like three heads because you don't think that you need to have, you know, 20 pillows on your bed or whatever it is.

And so, getting used to your own individual sense of style and function is a learning curve for, I think a lot of people, especially if they really have a strong connection with family or what their family's opinion really like, means a lot to them.

But then the other two emotions that I talk about a lot are guilt and fear; and they come up for everyone. They come up with me, and just actually every single person who I've ever talked to with decluttering.

Usually, if you're hanging onto an item that you don't use and that you don't, or that you don't love – that you don't find beautiful and enriching in your home – you're either, almost always, it's related to guilt because you bought something, and you feel guilty that you didn't get your money's worth out of it or fear if someone gave it to you as a gift and you're concerned, 'Well, what will they think if I don't keep it?' And those are just huge ones.

They stem from almost every item that people keep that they don't really want to keep. And so, I think a big part of that is acknowledging, 'Okay, I feel guilty about this item – or I'm scared of what will happen if I get rid of this item, will I need it in the future?'

And when you can name whatever that emotion is, it helps you understand how often you're keeping those items or how often you're keeping items out of those emotions – and how much of your home is filled with items that are eliciting fear or guilt rather than joy or, you know, function and beauty.

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. That really changes the relationship that you have with your belongings. And I know we don't often think about relationships we have with inanimate objects – but we have relationships with everything around us, and we have thoughts about everything around us.

And so, if you're filled in-- If you're full of this space that you're wandering around where it elicits those kind of emotions – fear and guilt and worry and frustration and all of that – it's really going to affect what's going on with you.

And so, what I talk about a lot is like, thought work, right? Let, like, let's change our thoughts and our beliefs and figure out what we're struggling with here. But in this situation, like you can also just change the situation. Like, you can also work on changing the things around you.

How to get started in small ways

Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, if somebody is listening and is interested in going on a journey to declutter or to be a little bit more minimal in their life but they have a family because most of the people that listen to this podcast, probably do, what would you suggest, because it's kind of a tricky balance when you have kids and your kids also want things too?

Ashley Andrasko: Well, I think that the number one mistake that, you know, I've made and that people make is that they want to declutter their whole family, their whole home – everyone's belongings at the same time.

And it's like, you read this book or you listened to a podcast; and suddenly, you're energized and you want to declutter, and then you would just like start pointing fingers at everything your husband ever left on the floor – and suddenly, your husband hates this entire concept of decluttering.

I think the number one tip I can say is start with your own belongings. Don't worry about anybody else's belongings because it's really easy to point fingers, and think that the chaos and the stress in your life is solely based on other people's clutter.

But when you go through your own closet, your night stand, your bathroom cabinet – or like the areas of the home that you have the most influence on-- Like I have full say what happens in our laundry room, my husband could not care at all what goes on in there.

So, those areas that are my own; when I went through them and declutter them – I'm learning a lot about myself, my shopping habits, what things I like or dislike; and that's a journey, in and of itself, that's shaping your mindset when you're doing that.

And then the next one is like when it comes to dealing with other family members' belongings – because yes, they do play a role on you, especially if you kind of let things get out of control or there's some really kind of hoarder-like habits that have happened.

I would say start with setting boundaries for your family. This isn't, you know, going through their closet with them and, you know, saying, "You don't wear that," or, "You should get rid of that". It's maybe, you know, your kids leave clothes all over the floor and you're going to say, "We need these clothes to be able to fit in your dresser or in your closet."

And so, you're setting that boundary of where items go or the volume of space that they can take up so that it's fair and it's reasonable for the rest of the family. And you decide what those boundaries are; and you can work with your spouse with that or your partner or that individual on what would be safe.

But at the end of the day, if you're saying, "Those toys need to fit in the toy box because it's not fair that I have to trip on them," then it's a lot harder for your family to argue with that point.

And so, that's kind of like a bridging, like, sense of sanity. And then if they can see that what you're doing is being beneficial or your spouse might jump on board, then they might be able to start implementing some of these same, you know, the same efforts that you've done.

And you can start working with them as you role-model those behaviors for them. You're naturally going to start to see your children – and hopefully, your partner follow along in little baby steps, if not a big leap.

Minimalism + de-cluttering with kids and families

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. I think for us it definitely was that case. And I think like-- I mean, it's still a struggle. It's not like my kids are like, 'Oh yeah, we love cleaning and organizing things, this is awesome.'

But I really try to focus on the feeling that they have after. So, I'm like, 'Oh, how do you feel in your room? Like, knowing that everything's in its place, how does it make you feel?' I was like--

And I tell them how I feel; like, 'I just feel so much more clarity and more peace when my room is clean – like, there's just something about my bed being done and my room being clean.'

So, even if they don't totally understand, I just talk about how much I love that – and how like, even though it's like, might be a struggle to clean it up… I'm a mom and I still don't love cleaning, but I love the feeling I get after cleaning; and so, I feel like it's super worth it.

And I had this conversation with my eight-year-old, and he was just like, 'Yeah, I feel that same way too, mom – like, I also don't love cleaning, but I love how my room feels when it's clean.' And, he is not a very clean child, so I loved that he understood that.

So, the more that we talk about our own journey and the more that we role-model that for them, they're going to eventually figure this out too. And also, like every child is unique and different. Some kids really love their stuff, and some don't.

So, just like you set that boundary, I set this little box; and I'm like, 'Hey, this is your box of stuff, like whatever you want to put in it – but if it's overflowing, we're going to have to get rid of some stuff because like, this is the box. Like, this is-- This is all-- This is all there is room for.'

And they're always really good with that. They love having their own little special box of like their own little things that they get to keep in there. So, I think the more that we just kind of implement that in just really gentle but firm ways, eventually they'll figure it out.

Ashley Andrasko: Yeah. When it comes to perspective too, like especially with kids' toys, if you look at like any other country other than like North America and how many items that they have or what our generations passed used to have, it really puts into perspective like, our children are not going without, we are not going without – even if we try to minimize down, we have so much more than every single human who ever existed on this planet did before us.

And so, sometimes it's like, yeah, it's just a-- It's a reminder to say, you know, we're not going without, and our children are certainly not being deprived.

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. And it inspires creativity too, right? Because then they're like, they're going to go play with the rocks on the sticks outside and build the forts outside; and they're going to use scrap pieces of paper and cardboard boxes that you have laying around.

I think it's been great. I don't feel like-- I don't feel like they're deprived. I do feel like it inspires creativity for them.

Ashley Andrasko: And there's different seasons in people's lives too. It's not to say that like there is a one-size-fits-all, or that you need try and be extreme; that's not at all what I've ever tried to even do for myself.

Obviously, if you need to like move, you know, your lifestyle, traveling often, there's certain requirements – but it's really trying to make what you are happy with in your home; and that's going to look different at every single household.

So, it isn't about trying to compare to what somebody else does or how small or how clean their home is. It's really like, 'Are you happy with that? Is that functioning for your family? Yes or no?' And then, revising that if it isn't so.

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Totally.

Ashley Andrasko: Something like you that you talked about; I like to say, creating a vision. And so, you talked about emotions, and that's huge. One of the big things that happens is people lose things in their home all the time, and that's a huge source of stress. We all do it, but the more cluttered your home is like that is a--

I think Marie Kondo says like-- She talked about how a percentage of our life that is spent looking for things that we've lost in our own home – or, you know, clothes that are not clean that they should be or whatever.

And it's true that when we have this – when we've built a vision to be more simplistic or more minimal, then we absolutely can start to feel and reap the benefits of that on a daily basis.

Eco-friendly and non-toxic living

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Yes. Okay. I love this whole conversation we've had on minimalism, but I also want to get to eco-friendly living and non-toxic living because I love it.

So, we're going to change the conversation a little bit and tell us a little bit about, I guess your eco-friendly journey, what that's kind of looked like for you; and then also maybe some tips, again, for people with families to kind of reduce their waste – reduce the levels of toxicity and things that they're buying, things like that.

Ashley Andrasko: Okay. Yeah. So, I mean, the eco-friendly aspect really came from when I realized how much over-consumption was happening in our home from a minimalist perspective, I also started to learn a lot more about it from an eco-perspective.

What kind of impact we’re having on the environment when we are just buying, buying, buying, buying and buying; and so those two really go hand-in-hand in that thought process – that if we're not excessively purchasing things that we don't need, then we are not going to be demanding as much from our wallets as well as the environment.

I mean, there's a lot of different aspects of environmentalism that I'm interested in – but when it comes to a family, I think the best tips I have are to remember we all were raised with the reduced reuse, recycle wording.

I've heard this again and again; and I can confirm it's happened with me, that we almost always just skip to the recycling. We skip to like, 'Okay, is this recyclable – yes or no?' And we throw it in the bin, and that's kind of where our version of environmentalism kind of ends.

But really it goes a lot back down to the reduce; and usually, it's like an inverted pyramid or triangle where the reduce, if you can reduce your waste – that is reduce the waste coming into your home, reduce the waste that you're creating for the landfill – that's like the biggest thing you can do for the environment.

Then it goes to reuse, and then it goes down to recycling. Recycling certainly is not the best thing that we could be doing. So again, that reducing really goes, like I said, hand-in-hand with minimalism.

And so, I guess, an example of this is like when you think about ways that we can reduce things on our home; it's like, can we use a little bit less paper towel by using microfiber cloths to clean – and what that looks like and how that reduces stress in your life, it could be you don't have to buy paper towels often.

You don't have to throw out as much paper towel. There's less trash to go out to the curb, less paper towel going in the landfill. And there's less to inventory when it comes to keeping track of like what you're running out of in your home. And all that comes down to using just some basic claws.

I think it's a far more simple system. You don't have to go completely without it, but when you find ways that are really kind of going back to almost ancestral ways of doing things, we really simplify our lives and realize it's not as bad or as tricky or as inconvenient as we once thought it was.

And once you see that improvement – and realize how much less waste we're having in our lives, it's really rewarding and refreshing.

How eco-friendly and non-toxic living has worked for Ashley Andrasko

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Totally. I loved your post when you were talking about not using Ziploc bags. I think it's been a year, right? You haven't used Ziploc bags in a year.

I love that. I think that's a great goal. How did that work for you? Like, what are some-- I would love to give our listeners some more applicable – like these are some specific things you can do, and I think that will be a great one.

Ashley Andrasko: I mean, I started out with just like finding some good reusable bags, and it certainly helped by having a variety. When I just had one or two, I found it difficult to remember to use the reusable bags.

And then after that it was just, it was just a matter of like reaching for them and getting into the habit of opening that drawer every time I wanted a Ziploc bag; opening that drawer that had those reusable bags them instead.

And I think it was just-- It was so much more of a, 'Wow, this isn't as inconvenient as I once thought it was.' And there was actually a lot of different things you could do with them; I could use them in the microwave, I could use them in the freezer.

And, whenever I was tempted to grab-- I mean, I have used a Ziploc bag probably four or five times – if I was leaving the house permanently, I wasn't going to give away one of my silicone Ziploc bags.

But it was a huge eye-opener to say, "Wow, I never have to go buy like a new box of Ziploc bags – the boxes that I have left over, they're going to last me for the rest of my life."

And so, there's a lot of different products in your home that you can do that with, and it's just a lot less money to spend. And now, when I pick up a Ziploc, I can smell like, it smells weird to me – because it's like, 'Wow, there are chemicals used on this, but I never like could smell before that,' but I did.

Crystal The Parenting Coach: A specific question for me is; when you divide up your meat, if you like shop at somewhere like Costco, can you divide up your meat, and put it in those freezer bags in the freezer and it's fine?

Ashley Andrasko: Yeah. I mean, you can absolutely do that. It's a little bit more expensive to buy like a thousand different silicone bags. I buy mine like in Patty's – in like, from Costco grass-fed, they come here already divided. And so, it's easy to grab one off the top and thought.

So, it kind of changes a little bit of the way you think when you shop too – but overall, yes, those work, absolutely. And people find other ways of reusing containers that are not Ziplocs; and it is a bit of like a learning curve if you really utilize something, that might not be the place that you start.

Like, you might find that there's something else that will work a little bit more easier for you, and you can get to those harder trickier ones as you find the energy to deal with them.

But when you're aware of the different options out there, then you can just say, "Hey, I want to try that this time," and give it a go. And if you're following people who can visualize that for you on Instagram, there's a ton of people – friendly ways of showing you how to reduce your waste or use products such as come with less packaging to begin with, then you can see that happening in people's lives and say, "That works for me or that doesn't work for me."

Ashley Andrasko's last tips on eco-friendly and non-toxic living

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Okay. So, as we're wrapping up, I would love for you to leave us with a tip of somebody that is on this kind of eco-friendly journey. Maybe looking back on yours, what were some first steps that you took or first steps that you would tell people that reach out to you right now?

Ashley Andrasko: Well one of the books I read was 101 Ways to Go Zero Waste by Kathryn Kellogg. And she's definitely more extreme than how I live currently, but it was a good-- Her handle is @going.zero.waste on Instagram.

And. she's like an, I think the plastic advocate for National Geographic in reducing your plastic intake. And there's some pretty like 'out there' things that people do that I wouldn't suggest, but you can see about learning all about the environmental.

Like when we assume things are happening with our recycling that aren't really happening – that things are being recycled, they're not really happening; it can motivate you to try a little bit harder when you're more aware of what is going on in the world around you.

So, educate yourself, pay attention to those things, listen to those influencers; and as soon as you start following one or two, you're going to start to see like a lot come up, so you can follow as well.

And just go with like-- I think that most people, they're drawn to something for absolutely no logical reason; and just try it, and just see what comes next. And you're going to grow – and once you start to learn more it, you can't forget it. So, you just want to keep learning more, and that's how it worked for me.

Crystal The Parenting Coach: I love it. I love that. And I think also your tip when you talked about minimalism, just like starting small – and I think it's exactly like this, right? Just pick that one thing – like maybe it's Ziploc bags or maybe it's, I don't know, chemicals in your house cleaners or whatever you want to do – to be a little bit more eco-friendly, a little bit more healthy for the environment and for your family.

Yeah, I think these tips are great. So, thank you for coming and sharing your knowledge with us in two of my favorite topics. I appreciate this conversation.

Ashley Andrasko: Thank you.

How to connect with Ashley Andrasko

Crystal The Parenting Coach: And, let our listeners know where they can connect with you.

Ashley Andrasko: All right. So, I'm on Instagram, that's @starttosimplify, is the handle. And then I also have a blog, that's starttosimplify.com. You can connect with me on either of those.

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Awesome. I will have those in the show notes for anyone that is wanting to connect with Ashley. And thanks for coming on, for us today.