S10/20-How to Heal (Tips from over 200 episodes)

Full Transcript

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Introduction

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Parenting Coach Podcast with Crystal. Over seven years ago, I felt like I was stuck in this cycle of yelling and reactivity in my parenting that I did not want to be in, but I didn't know how to get out of, I knew how I wanted to parent pretty much exactly, and I'd spent hours reading books, but not finding a way to show up how I wanted to.

That's when I started to turn inwards. My own inward journey was what my family needed. As I changed everything around me, changed my kids' meltdowns, decreased by 90% or more with no medications or therapy. I stopped yelling. Sibling fighting became almost entirely nonexistent, and I found that this change flowed into other areas of my life too.

My intuition increased. I started to run my life in business in a very different way. If this sounds like something you want, Sue, I can help. Join me each week as I share my journey, including the laughter, fun, hard times, and tears. Tune in for support, guidance, and fun conversations. With my favorite experts and really anything else that interests me too.

The New Podcast

Hello. I cannot believe that [00:01:00] this is the very last episode of the Parenting Coach podcast. I started it in March, I think of 2021. I think I've done over 250 episodes plus bonus episodes. I. It has been the culmination of such a cool, such a cool thing. So many cool guests. I'm so grateful for all of the guests that I've had here.

Grateful for all the people that have listened on here. For those of you that are wanting to keep listening, for those of you that maybe just found me, you can go back and listen to previous episodes. But as I finish this podcast, because it does feel complete, it feels like a topic that I have really dove into.

I've really changed in my own self and in my own home, and helped clients change, and I feel complete. There's something new that I, that I have burgeoning that I want to be talking about that is not parenting. And so. First of all, just thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for all of the people that shared that, wrote reviews, that listened, that shared it with other people that talked about the podcast.

I love that and I thank you for that. Okay. I also want to mention if you did not already hear that, I have a [00:02:00] new podcast coming out. It is launching on June 2nd, the Art of Shame-Free Living. I am really excited about this and I'm excited about it because shame I felt like was at the root of everything.

Like I started diving into parenting and changing parenting and things were happening and shifting, and then I just kept getting to this like. Stuckness around. Well, at the time I didn't know that it was shame, but the stuckness around triggers and being emotionally activated, and even as I was doing emotional regulation work, I was like, well, why is the trigger there in the first place?

And as I started to dive into that, I realized that shame is under the surface of everything. And so that is why I have created this new podcast. I would love for you to go over, listen to the trailer, follow the show so that you can be notified. As soon as the, um, first episode airs, I'm hoping to air with several episodes.

They're gonna be short, they're gonna be punchy. I'm not gonna have any guests. It's just gonna be my musings on shame for the week. Um, I'm really excited for this. I'm going to be making it more accessible. I. I'm hoping to have it in written format. Um, on Substack, I plan on having it on a YouTube channel via video.

[00:03:00] I'm also going to be having the audio version of it, so it'll be very accessible, um, especially because of the short, concise manner of it as well. It'll be much easier for people to listen to and to share. Um. The reason that I am so interested in shame is because I really do feel it is at the root. When I think of, um, clients, friends, people that I've worked with that have struggled with things, it really seems to be at the root of like us not being able to be who we feel like we are, not who we want to be in the future, but who we actually feel like we are deep down.

Like there's this self that's deep down within us. And we already feel like that is possible for us. Like that is there for us. And shame is what blocks us from communicating in that way, relating in that way, being congruent in that way. It's that incongruence that feels uncomfortable. Um, I feel like it's at the root of anxiety at the root of depression as at the root of, um, compulsive issues at the root of addiction.

The Prevalence of Shame

Um, I think that it really is anything that feels [00:04:00] incongruent in our life can be tied somehow to shame. And for me, shame is deep inadequacy. It's this deep feeling of failure about the self, not just something that I've done, but like. Me and who I am, and we all have it. I don't ask myself like, um, do I have it or not?

I ask myself to show myself where it might be present in my life, where it might be hiding in the tiny little dark corners that I'm not necessarily seeing. So I'm very excited to have an outlet to talk about this topic that I think is so present and I think very misunderstood and very, um, overlooked.

Like people don't really notice or see that it's, that it is present. And so I'm excited to have an outlet to talk about that. All right, so pop over there. Make sure to follow, subscribe, all the things. Come see me over there. Um, the other reason I really wanna talk about shame is because it blocks us from the true change that we want.

So if you feel like maybe I. Um, you sometimes feel good about your body, but you sometimes don't. Um, you sometimes feel like you're able to eat the way that you want to, and then you're sometimes not. Um, maybe you go through yo-yo dieting, lose weight, [00:05:00] gain weight. Um, maybe in relationships. This looks like, uh, focusing a lot on communication patterns or things you're supposed to do or you're not do, or.

Say the right things or not say the right things. And then it leads to, um, working maybe for a while and then not working, and then connection and then disconnection. And it kind of, I find that if we're not getting to the root of shame, there's a lot of flip-flopping, whether this is in relationship with my body or relationship with money, or a relationship with myself, um, or with my partner.

It doesn't stay consistent. It's definitely very flip floppy, flip floppy because, um, shame also needs to be addressed. So whatever modality you're using, whether it's therapy or coaching, or a different kind of coaching or different modalities within therapy, um, the, it definitely needs to be addressing this in some way.

And I find that when it doesn't, then that is what makes it ineffective. Over time, I'm just gonna keep going back and forth and back and forth instead of finding the thing that works more deeply, more fluidly, more permanently. Um, I'm actually gonna be, I'm thinking about doing a live event, a [00:06:00] full day live event in person, um, here in Southern Alberta that will be all about shame, um, from a spiritual angle.

So we're gonna be talking, um, about spirituality within shame as well, but specifically for shame, where we're gonna be talking about how to find it in our life, how to notice where it's there. For us individually, well, it's like gonna be like a workshop style for the entire day and we'll also be going through different processes to help process through it.

So if you love what I talk about here on the podcast, you're gonna love my new podcast episode, and you're going to love this live event. Um, so let me know if you're interested in coming to that live event. I'm hoping to make it very low cost, very accessible to all in a full day thing. So. Hopefully we will see that soon, name coming, date coming, all of the details coming later.

Um, so make sure you're subscribed to my new podcast so you can hear about that and, and find out about it and join us there. So this is my last episode and I was kind of like dreading it 'cause I'm like, I don't know what to say. This feels like it should be potent. And I don't know the culmination of all the things that I've [00:07:00] talked about and like what do I wanna share?

And I feel like I've shared so much with you. I've shared my journey. I've shared how I've changed. You've probably heard my episodes and noticed that there's been even more changes since the changes that I first talked about in my episodes, one through four. Um, and. You can listen to those episodes and, and hear those changes and listen to the, the great things there.

But, um, what I thought I would leave with you today is just really practical tips. Um, by practical, I mean actionable, I mean things that you can actually take home and do right now as you're listening to this episode. As soon as this episode is done, you can. Take something and do something with it. That is what I love about life coaching, and I know that you can sometimes find this in other modalities as well, but I think life coaching is specifically good at actionable tips where you can take it home, where you can have your, um, ideas around ideologies, around things really shifted in a way that, um, changes you.

Immediately. Uh, so I'm gonna tell you a bunch of them. I don't even know how many I was gonna number them, but I was like, I don't know, I might just talk about more. [00:08:00] So, um, that's what you're getting today is just a whole jumble of all of the things that I think are the most important that I wanna make sure that I really leave with you and, um, be here with you.

And if you're finding this podcast years later, um, uh, make sure to find, be on my new podcast as well. Okay. So one of the things that I thought was really cool in my healing journey, um, was learning more about myself, um, learning about more about me more deeply in a way that I didn't really know before.

Being Okay with Yourself

Um, and there's a few different modalities that I use for this back in the day, like years ago, I've always loved to learn more about my personality and so I. I would do like the color type or the like dress for your truth type or whatever, like all of those kind of personality type situations. I never really felt one where I was like, yes, this, like, I really felt like it, um, helped me or something until I found Enneagram and Enneagram.

For me, there's nine different Enneagram numbers if you have never heard of it. It's, um, E-N-N-E-A-G-R-A-M. If you have not heard that, I'll spell that out for you so [00:09:00] you can go find it. Um, you self-diagnose, so you read about the Enneagram numbers or types, and you can find which one feels like it resonates with you the most.

There are quizzes you can take online that can kind of help solidify that for you, but for the most part, it's the self-diagnosed type thing. Learning about me through Enneagram really helped me start to understand myself more and who I was and what I liked and disliked and why. And I did know those things, so it wasn't like it was new information, but what was new to me was the understanding of it's okay for me to be this way.

We are all different. Diversity is what's beautiful about us, and I don't need to pretend that I'm not this way to fit in with society. I'll give you an example. I used to think that I was really flighty, really irresponsible, sometimes too much. I had too big of dreams or I had too big of ideas. Maybe I talked too fast.

Maybe my personality was just too much. I. Um, I am a seven in the Enneagram types and it's very adventurous and it's very, um, um, spontaneous and I don't know. It's just, it's a lot. There's much in there. [00:10:00] And I was like, yeah, that is me. That is who I am. Instead of thinking that I should change that, that I should dumb it down a little bit, that I should quiet a little bit that I should flow a little bit, that I should be something different than what I am. Um, it helped me to just be more of myself and be more okay with myself. So if you're interested in Enneagram, maybe you already know your Enneagram type, I would love to hear from you. I would love to chat about you, with you about my, your Enneagram.

I changed my, um, Instagram handle, so if you wanna send me a message over there. It used to be the.parenting.coach, and it is now it's ITS dot Crystal, C-R-Y-S-T-A-L dot noel, N-O-E-L-L-E. That's my middle name. Okay, so it's Crystal Noelle. Go send me a message. We will chat about your Enneagram, but. There's some cool things that I found recently about Enneagram.

Um, one is that they come from developmental patterns from childhood. And so if you look up your soul child number, once you figure out your Enneagram type, you can kind of figure out what core wounds happened in childhood and what your growth number is. And anyways, there is a lot, there's a lot of detail that you can go into an Enneagram apparently, and it is very awesome.

Um, but the gist of this [00:11:00] is that learning more about me helped me be more okay with me and the more me that I can bring to the world. The more healing that I bring to the world, the more love, the more light. And that is true for you as well. The more that you understand you, the more you're okay with you.

The more you that you can then be for the world is the change, is the healing, is the light, is the magic. I. That you bring to the world. Um, I loved learning about human design. You've probably heard me talk about human design here before. I absolutely love it. I love learning what my kids' types are.

I love learning about my type, what my partner's type is, and helping me relate to my kids and myself better. For instance, if you're a human design geek, you probably already know this. I'm a manifesting generator. I. Probably doesn't not come as a surprise to you. I have a child who's a projector. We are very different.

And so understanding the time and space that he needs, understanding, um, to ask him and you know, how he's doing or ask him for his opinion or make sure that he's getting that time and space away from others has been really powerful for us. And so it's really shifted how I relate to my kids [00:12:00] and to my partner.

So that's a cool thing as well. Um, Jean Keys, GENE. Um, keys has also been really cool and so I'm sure that there will be more cool things in the future that I will find and discover. But I think the gist of it is that learning more about me has helped me be more me. And I think that that's my goal in the world is to help me be more me and help you be more, you help everybody, be more them instead of us trying to be somebody else.

That is what incongruence is. That is what feel, that's what leads to burnout and stress and overwhelm and all the things that, that we don't enjoy. Um, okay. 

Play and Rest

Next one is play and rest. Both play and rest are just as needful, maybe even more so needful than the work times and that they actually fuel efficiency.

And productivity in the work times. But if you're constantly stressing about work, thinking about work overworking, and not leaving room for rest and play, um, you're actually going to be less productive and less efficient at work. Um, [00:13:00] one of the biggest productivity hacks is to allow yourself more play.

Allow yourself more rest. Um, rest can be really uncomfortable if you're listening to this and you're like, no, I don't believe that. Um, you probably need it even more. 'cause I definitely felt this way too. And I pushed myself to allow myself to rest more and more and more. Allow myself to play more and more and more, even to the level of it being uncomfortable, um, until I got comfortable with it.

So I would offer that as well. Um, this has been in like little things like just resting instead of working, taking on less clients than maybe my brain thinks that I have the capacity for, even though my mind's like we could take on an unlimited amount of clients. Um, but really allowing time and space in between each session so that I can meditate, so I can read, so I can ponder, so I can journal, so I can pray.

Um. I allowed myself to start reading fiction books again, this might sound silly, but I stopped reading fiction books years and years ago because I was like, Nope. If I'm reading, it needs to be for a purpose. It needs to be productive. It needs to have an outcome. And so I didn't allow myself to read fiction [00:14:00] books for a long time, um, until I got back into them.

And now I love them and I feel like. So many good authors teach what I teach through story. Um, in fact, if you want, um, a book review, I just finished reading all the Crooked Saints and I 110% recommend it, um, slash anything from Brandon Sanderson. 'cause I think he does a great job of teaching, teaching about the things that I teach here, but through a really cool story based way.

Um, okay. Um, also in this play and rest section would be creating for no purpose, for no reason. Not to monetize your hobby, not to have something that you can show somebody else or put up in an art show and be like, look how cool this is. Um, creation can be, thought creation can be change within myself.

Creation can be poems, it can be um, words, it can be um, painting, it can be weaving, it can be anything that it, it needs to be. But taking time for creative processes that don't have to have an amazing outcome [00:15:00] at the end is a really, um, relieving and, um, it feels like world changing. It feels actually like revolutionary.

It sounds little, but it's not actually little when you start doing it. Um, another thing in the planned rest field would be doing things without thinking about how others will view it. Doing things without worrying about what others think. Um, just recently I applied for a musical theater, for a local musical theater program, and I was super scared and nervous, and I realized like when I'm on stage, the only reason I'm scared and nervous is 'cause how I think they're gonna view me.

What I think they're gonna judge me about, what I think they're gonna say to me, what I think their thoughts about me are. If there was nobody else there, I could be on stage and it would be totally fine. And I've noticed as I've gone to a lot more musicals now that my family's getting into them, is that the best performers are the ones where you can tell they do not care.

They're able to just get so fully into the role that they absolutely do not care what other people are thinking about them. And I actually think this is true for actors on TV as well. [00:16:00] I'm very sensitive to like good and bad acting, and I cannot watch a movie no matter how cool the storyline is, if the acting is poor.

And for me, the acting is poor when they're not fully bought in themselves. When they're not authentically into that role because part of them is feeling like inhibited by what other people might be thinking about them. At least that is how I'm viewing it as I'm watching it. So, um, that's really cool too, is that this idea of like, can I do something?

It doesn't have to be musical theater, it doesn't have to be acting or singing, but can I do, do the things that I'm doing without worrying about what other people are thinking about me? Um, can I let them have their thoughts about me and be wrong about me and have different ideas about me and not even like me?

Like, is that okay? Um, because really that's not our responsibility. That's not our business. That's not up to us. That's not in our zone of power. And it takes us out of our zone of power. 

Daily Journaling

Okay, next one is journaling daily. This has changed me hugely. Um, also if you're an AI person, you can journal really cool things like Enneagram and human design and [00:17:00] gene keys and ask it to help type you and ask it what that means for your relationship or for your business creation or for your career path.

We did this for my son and I was like, wow, is this 110% cooler than like the ones that I took when I was in high school That was like, what should I be when I grow up? It was, um, it was real cool. So. Journaling you can do with AI as well, but journaling is really cool. Some of the journaling questions that I like to do for myself, and this is journaling in the way of like helping me again, understand myself and what's happening in my mind and my spirit more deeply is how is this for my good or what is the gift here?

Or how is this for me? Especially when things feel like they're absolutely not for me. That is when I ask these questions to really start to break my brain open a little bit. You can also do another little shadow work along the same line that is like, how is my defensiveness or my mistakes or my judgment of others or myself, why is that a gift for me?

Why was that a gift for me? Or why was that a gift for the world or what good possibly [00:18:00] came from that? That will also be a brain breaking exercise. Um, another one that I like to question is what's blocking me? From receiving. So if I could receive anything I want into the world, if I'm into manifestation and creation, conscious creation, reception, um, what is blocking me from receiving more in my life?

Because more is, there more is there for us always. Um, abundance is always there. Um, who do I want to be? Who do I feel like I want to be in the future? And what do I feel like is blocking me from that now? And I'll offer that. I actually don't believe that. It's like I'm here at point A and I wanna be at point B.

I am who I am at point A and I have to change myself in all these ways to get to point B. I think it is more of remembering who I am at point A is who I am at point B, because point B is also within me, and that is actually more true. To who I am, there's this true self within me, and it's more like digging out the [00:19:00] holes, digging out the rocks that are covering up this depth of true self that I have within me than like trying to create a new self.

Um, if that makes sense. So instead of it, like what's blocking me from being who I wanna be in the future, it's more of a like, who am I? Who am I truly? Who do I actually feel like I am deep down? And what's blocking me from showing up in that way today? Um, another one that I got from my friend and coach Amber Smith, is wouldn't it be cool if.do that is such.

Such a fun journaling prompt. Wouldn't it be cool if I call it my magic list? I have a note on my phone called My Magic List, um, if you ever wanna read my phone. And it has really just like fun, cool ideas. Like, wouldn't it be really fun if I could go on a cruise and take my whole entire family? How cool would that be?

Um, and then they're just little fun things that I get to manifest or create or think about or make happen or just watch while they happen without me even thinking about it. [00:20:00] Um. What's coming? For me today is kind of an easy way to get there. Like that's just a simple, like what's coming up for me today and starting to write on it and what I'm doing, intuitive journaling I'm looking for in, um, depth.

I'm looking to ask myself even deeper questions, so something will come up, I'll write it out and then I'm gonna ask myself like, what's under that? What might be under that? Like, what's going on here? What's under the surface here? And so you can ask yourself some deepening questions as well. But I find that journaling daily has really helped me with congruence.

Congruence being who I am, who I know I am, and how I show up in the world are the same. And now I'm really sensitive to congruence. In fact, I just had a conversation with someone today. And as soon as I was, um, finished speaking with them, even in the middle of speaking with them, I could tell that there was a few things that I said that did not feel congruent.

They did not feel congruent to who I was. And then that's what I went home and journaled on afterwards. 'cause I was like, Hmm, what's with this? Like, why didn't I speak in a way that I did feel [00:21:00] congruent to me? Like, what was I trying to show off or be, or pretend that I was too? You know, have this person accept me or whatever.

Non-Attachment

So those are some cool journaling prompts. Um, next thing I wanna talk about is attachment. If you have not yet listened to my workshop that I did, the Art of Non-Attachment, you can go and listen to that because I have, uh, I posted that as a bonus episode. But when things feel heavy in life, it's the, it's the weightiness of meaning that we're attaching to that.

So I want you to think of like the difference in weight between a cupcake and a boulder. One is like super heavy. Like if I was trying to hold that, it would be like pulling me down and I would feel it, right? A cupcake is very light, it's very fun. It's sprinkly. Um. The difference in what's happening in the world is the meaning that I'm attaching to it, especially the meaning about myself.

So something is really bothering me about my husband, about, uh, my spouse, about my kids, about work, about, um, a client that's not working out [00:22:00] or money that's not coming in that's supposed to, or something that's happening in life that I feel like is not supposed to be happening. What meaning am I attaching to that thing, especially in correlation with the meaning of myself, the meaning about me that I'm attaching to it?

That is the weight. And if you are feeling weighed down by something in your life right now, I would offer that. That's a great journaling prompt too. What meaning am I attaching to this thing, to this relationship, to this situation, to this experience that I'm going through and see the weight? That you're putting on that thing versus something that might have a cupcake amount of weight.

Receiving Energy

What we're thinking about over there? The next one I wanna talk about is being in, receiving energy. I believe that reception is available to us. We receive, um, truth, we receive wisdom, we receive wealth, we receive compliments, we receive love. But am I open to reception? I find that shame is the thing.

Self-worth is the thing that's blocking me from reception. So if somebody comes and tries to compliment me and I'm just like, oh, it's not a big deal, right? [00:23:00] I am not, I have not received that compliment. They are trying to give me a gift of love. Presence and I have decided to not receive it just the same as if they had taken and like given me a physical gift.

And I was like, Hmm, no thanks. Not receiving that. Um, maybe it's love. Maybe somebody's trying to give you a hug. Maybe they're trying to send you love and you are not feeling the reception of that love. Um, maybe it's wealth. Someone's trying to pay for your coffee or pay for your dinner and you're like, Hmm, nope, no thanks.

Um, because you're not in that moment being in receiving energy. I actually think that as we practice receiving energy in any area of our lives, it opens us up to receive more wealth, more abundance, more love, more connection in all areas of our life. So that can be a really cool exercise to practice.

It's something that I've given my clients recently is can you just go a whole entire week and receive anything that's coming for you? Whether or not it's somebody trying to pay for something for you, giving you a compliment, sending you love [00:24:00] notice, am I energetically receiving it? Or am I saying, am I receiving it, but I'm not actually feeling it or allowing the reception to land within myself.

Stillness and Contemplation

Okay. Um, another point is stillness and contemplation instead of constantly listening to podcasts. You know, podcasts are great, but instead of listening to all the podcasts, reading all of the books, getting more knowledge, more information, more people's ideas and experiences. Can we tap into us and what's happening within us?

I think that's where our intuition lies is often in those moments of stillness. But we busy ourselves. We busy our calendar and our minds, so we don't take time for stillness and contemplation. And I think that if you're somebody who really seeks after self-help, you can really get into the swirl of like, there's something wrong with me and now I have to fix it.

And so now I have to consume and consume and consume so that I can finally fix this thing that I feel like deep within me is broken. Right? That is shame. That is what we're doing from shame. And I was definitely self-help my way to, to try to [00:25:00] get rid of my shame for years until I recognize that.

So taking time for stillness and meditation and contemplation has been something that's really changed my life. It has helped me to be more emotionally regulated, to have more power or control in the thoughts that I have during the day, um, to notice things from different angles to kind of zoom out and have different perspectives on things.

Um, another cool thing that it's really helped me with is spirituality. I think that so often we're good at like praying and speaking at something or to something, um, but that's not how communication works, right? Communication is actually, I think even more. Listening, right? If I'm having a really great deep conversation with someone, yes, I'm saying some stuff, but so much of the time I'm receiving stuff, I'm opening up myself to listening and I can't do that if I'm constantly the one that's speaking out at the world.

So in spirituality, I think of that as well. My son has a friend who, um, just recently converted from Buddhism to Christianity, and he was asking him like, what do you think the difference is? He said, well, in [00:26:00] Christianity, um, you know, if you're seeking for something, if you want, you know, information or wisdom or whatever, you're gonna go and read scripture.

And in Buddhism, you're just gonna go sit. You're just gonna be, and you're just gonna allow the wisdom to like well up within you. And that has been true for me as I've been able to spend much more time and contemplation and stillness in, um, those moments of spirituality have been, have been really key for my growth and change.

Trust

Um, second to last thing that I'm gonna say is trust. And I think this goes with intuition. This goes with stillness, but trusting in something that's greater than yourself and yourself, and maybe that they're the same thing. So whatever you believe in, I believe in God. I believe in both a Mother God and a Father God.

And I believe they work hand in hand in the same capacity and at the same level of energy and power. Um, but I want you to think about what you [00:27:00] believe in, but something that is greater than yourself, universe, creator I. A being that is out there, that is watchful. That is what we get to trust in. We get to trust that we are held, that there is a divine design, that there is a plan, that there is something out there for us, and that there's somebody there that we can, um, lean into.

Safety and trust and security. And that for me has really changed not only my spirituality, but also my life and my access to intuition because I believe that what's out there is also in here. You can't see me pointing 'cause I'm pointing to my heart. But I will say, say it out loud, is also in my heart, is also in my soul.

Thomas Martin calls this the God spark, the God that's within me, that is connected to the God that's outside of me. And that is what resonates most with me, is that there is this, um, connection between something that's bigger and outside of myself that's also within me. That has helped my intuition as well because those thoughts and ideas that are mine are also wise, are also [00:28:00] divine because there's a God within me and a God outside of me, and they are connected.

Healing is Remembering

Um, okay. The last tiny little clip that I'll leave with you is this. Healing is remembering. Healing is not believing that I'm broken and now I need to fix myself. How can I go find a way to fix myself? But it's remembering my value, my my truth. It's remembering my wholeness that's within me. And the more that I can be reminded of that, that is what healing is.

That's what healing does for generations to come. But I also think of healing as healing past generations. I think that we heal. Our parents, our grandparents, our great grandparents, our great great grandparents. As we take up the call for healing and that healing being a reminder, I lied. There's one more.

No Hierarchy of Humanity

I've shared this before, but it's really important. There is no hierarchy of humanity. There is no better than and less than there is no, because I have wealth or power or fame, I'm better than you or you're [00:29:00] better than me. And I wanna offer that we actually do this subconsciously all the time. That is why it's uncomfortable for us to meet, um, are heroes.

People that we really look up to. 'cause we're like, oh, they're so cool. They're so cool in a way that I feel like I'm not, um, that's why it's uncomfortable for us to connect with people that are in different socioeconomic statuses as we are, um, because again, we're feeling like maybe they're better than, or maybe they're less than.

And again, this is not conscious when I'm talking about shame and what I'm gonna talk about in my new podcast. Um, so much of it is happening on a deeper level than what I'm consciously aware of, but you can find out. You can ask yourself, what is uncomfortable about this moment for me? Why did I behave that way around that person that I just met?

What is bothering me so much about this? And so often for me, I've noticed like, oh, I'm doing that thing again. I'm putting myself on a pedestal and or I'm putting myself [00:30:00] below the pedestal. The greater than less than thing that is, that is shame. So there is no hierarchy of humanity. It is all equal. And the more that we can understand that and believe that the more that we can bring healing to the world, um, you are your answer.

You have the answers within you, you have wisdom within you, you have healing within you. If you feel complete from listening to me in these last 270 or whatever episodes, um. Then take that and go forward and move forward and do your thing. If you feel like there is more that you wanna learn more, that you wanna grow with me, come meet me over at the art of Shame-free living.

Um, but just know that you have wholeness within you. And if you don't remember, ask yourself that. Is there wholeness within me? Is there a space within me that feels whole, that feels unbroken, that feels infinite? That feels big. Um, Anna [00:31:00] in the book, um, the book of Longings by Sue Monk Kid says, bless the largeness that is within me.

And for me, I feel like that spiritual fullness, that's aliveness, that's our worth, that's our value, and that is unchanging. 

Conclusion

And that is what I will leave with you today with, again, a lot of gratitude. For you being here, for me, being here for, for us, being able to have this connection for all of these years.

And, um, I will see you sometime in the future, either on my podcast, Instagram, all the places I will be there. Um, thank you for being here. If you enjoyed this episode as much as I did, I would love for you to help spread the word by getting this message of support and guidance out to as many people as possible.

So text it to your best friend or tag me on Instagram and share it. Leave a review, rate it, subscribe it, or follow on your favorite [00:32:00] platform.