The FIRST Secret Every Mom Should Know

Feb 01, 2021

Our brain is wired for negativity, this is called the negativity bias. It’ll feed us tens of thousands of thoughts per day, most of them negative. 


It’s like a toddler driving 100 miles an hour on the highway, out of control and crazy. That’s what our brain can feel like when we don’t learn the tools to manage it. 


If you’re wanting to get back in the drivers seat, it starts with awareness. It’s fairly easy to strive to be introspective, to start thinking about us and our thinking. But it gives a whole new layer of awareness as we write it down. It’s the secret sauce of mind management. 


There are a few different ways of thought-journaling. We can write about our day and analyze how we are showing up and what stories we are telling ourselves (like Brene Brown teaches us). We can start a gratitude journal (check out how here) and focus on all of the things we have and we’re grateful for, which really helps with an abundance mindset. 


But my very favourite, and the first coaching tool that I use with all of my clients, is called a Thought Dump. It’s such an effective  way of gaining awareness about what we’re thinking and how it’s affecting us. 


I’ll teach it to you in 3 simple steps. 


1)    Write out all of your thoughts on paper.

The key to this is “no judgement”. Don’t look through those thoughts, as you’re writing them down, and think: I shouldn’t think that or that’s a stupid thought. 

Just allow the thoughts to flow out of you. 

I like to think of this step as if I were sitting in a movie theatre, at the end of a show, and looking up at the credits rolling. I just sit there, the credits roll up, I notice them and jot them down. 


That’s what it’s like with our thoughts, I sit down, notice them and write them down. 


2)    Sort out the thoughts from the facts

This step seems small, but it’s actually huge. What is a fact? It’s something everyone can agree upon. I think of this as if a video camera were capturing everything going on during my day… whatever it captures are facts. What happens around us: the things people say and do etc. 

Thoughts are everything else. They are literally just words in our mind. 

Circle the thoughts, underline the facts. 


3)    Question

Go through each thought and ask yourself some powerful questions: How does this feel? Is this really true? Is it useful? Is it going to help me show up as the mom/person I want to be? Is there another way to view this story?


Try this exercise this week a few times, then comment below and let me know how it goes for you! What interesting insights did you find? Can’t wait to hear what happens using this secret sauce mind management tool! 


Remember, it starts with YOU, not THEM. 



I can help you become the mother you want to be. I have built By Design for moms like YOU. It is an environment of understanding and growth that provides access to regular coaching that will help you achieve your parenting success.


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