How focusing more on YOU every day is the BEST thing you can do for your kids!

Imagine feeling stressed, burnt out and overwhelmed. Maybe you notice a sock on the floor, spaghetti sauce on the wall and a dirty toilet… none of them get cleaned up, they stay there all week long… while you’re barely scraping by just with the basic needs of life. Hard-core survival mode.

It might not be that hard to imagine, huh?! It might sound like ordinary day-to-day life right now. 

I want you now to think of the kind of parenting that comes from those feelings.

Maybe it’s a little more yelling, a little less focussed, possibly more disconnected, maybe numbing out on your phone or staying up late. 

I want you to envision now, a mother that has had a fairly good sleep, maybe done some reading or learning that day, gone outside, eaten foods that fuel her body well and even taken some alone time to meditate or do some thought-work or has met with a therapist or coach that week. 

She’s likely feeling a little more content, peaceful, confident… maybe she’s feeling more compassionate and loving towards herself and her kids. 

Then you notice the sock on the floor, spaghetti sauce on the wall and the dirty toilet. They are still there. The same circumstances… but maybe now it doesn’t bother you as much. Maybe it doesn’t weigh on you as heavily as it used to. 

Kim John Payne once described this as the difference between pouring a teaspoon of salt in a small shot glass versus a giant vat of water. The water in the shot glass will taste gross, way too salty and not be useful for us. The salt poured in the vat will be barely noticeable. 

That is the difference that taking care of US does. We are either the small shot glass or the giant vat. Our children’s negative behaviours or attitude and stressful situations will come, like the salt being poured in the water, but how we respond will be 100% different. 

If you feel like most of the time you are parenting from the shot glass, and not the vat… I have 3 quick tips for you: 

1)    Download my self-care mini-course here and learn more about taking care of YOU in an intentional way.

2)    Notice any unmet needs… are you feeding yourself well? Sleeping well? Expressing your needs? Getting the support you need?

3)    Find time for JOY again. What brings you joy? If you have a hard time thinking of this, what used to bring you joy when you were a child or teen? Painting, reading, walking, swimming? Take time to do these kinds of things at least once per week going forward. 

Remember! As we better care for us, we’ll better care for them <3 

Crystal