S04|01 - Welcome to Season 4, Living with Intention and Breaking CyclesFeb 28, 2022
Welcome to season 4! I’m so happy you’ve found my little corner of the podcasting world. In season 1 we dug into parenting, my own personal story, and a TON of mindset + emotional tools that have helped me on my journey. In season 2 we talked all about parenting support and how to heal on your own journey. Season 3 was full of a TON of great conversations with other experts, and I can’t wait to bring you SEASON 4!! A deep dive into healing.
What we cover in today’s episode:
- The thought-blockers keeping us stuck from parenting in the way we want to
- Think > Feel > Do and why changing our thoughts is KEY in our healing journey
- How IMPLEMENTATION changes the game in healing- and how you can work with me in a BIG way on that journey <3
I would be honored to be your coach and help you get the changes you want to see in your life. The tools that I talk about in my podcast and use in my coaching have completely turned around my life and my relationships with my children. I know what it takes and how to make it happen. You can use the links below to get more of my content and to learn what we do in my program By Design. I love helping women tap into their inner expert and build radical connection in their relationships with their children.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hey, I'm Crystal, a certified life coach and mom of four. In this podcast, we combine radical connection and positive parenting theories with the How-To Life Coaching Tools and Mindset Work to completely transform our relationship with our children.
Join me on my journey, unleash your inner parenting expert, and become the mother you've always wanted to be. Make sure you subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast and rate this podcast on Apple, and check out my transformative monthly membership for moms in the show notes.
Hello. Hello. Welcome to Season 4. I hope you loved Season 3. I am so glad that you found me here. If you found me on Instagram or through listening to me on another podcast or through me interviewing somebody on this podcast, I'm glad that you have found your way here. If you are a new listener, you might not have heard my other seasons.
Summary of the Previous Seasons
Season 1 was all about my parenting journey. It was about my relationship with my son, who has some neuro divergent issues, and how I was completely transformed, not through changing him, but through working on changing within me instead.
We also dug into some really important self-help mindset and coaching tools that I teach; I use on myself, I use on my clients all of the time; and that can help anyone in any situation, and that are especially effective in parenting.
Some of my most asked questions – regularly, from my own clients and on Instagram - are, what do I do during a tantrum at any age? Emotions and how to feel them. We also talked about zones - green zone, red zone, yellow zone. Those are ones that get downloaded every single week and everybody seems to enjoy them and refer-- I refer back to them often. So, go check those ones out.
Season 2 was all about my favorite parenting tips. I gave you some resources to use; some books, some tools to help you use - from anything for mom shame and tantrums to teens and screens; tantrums at any age, I might add. I dug in a little bit more to my learning journey and why it is that I do what I do.
My goal is to change homes from the inside out; by changing moms from the inside, out, helping them on their own healing journey and raising a new generation of children - breaking the cycles that we maybe have been given or been born into, and parenting in a completely different way.
So, that's what Season 2 was all about; emotional intelligence, resiliency, self-love, all of that good stuff. So, check that out there.
Season 3 was all about guest interviews, that's the one we just wrapped up. I had some really fantastic people on the podcast. We learned about perfectionism. We learned about dealing with difficult relationships, minimalism, co-parenting, how to get on the same page with parenting, parenting in a way that's different from the norm.
And also, we dug into personal identity and how that affects our motherhood. We had some really, really exceptional interviews, and I encourage you to go back and listen to some of those as well.
Now, let's dig into what you can expect from Season 4. We're going to get further into the issues that I see with my clients and with myself and around me regularly, what keeps coming up over and over and over again on Instagram and in my Facebook group.
And, we're also going to bring in some fun conversations with experts, but these conversations will be a little bit different. They're going to be a conversation about one of these topics that we're going to dig into, where we both talk about how we see it in the world, what our views and opinions are on it, and what we feel like might help.
This is going to be so fun. It's going to expand our understanding and further deepen the transformation that we're going through. You'll end the season with more applicable knowledge of how to use these tools to become a cycle-breaker yourself, how they can be applied to every parenting situation.
And, you will also expect a transformation, if you do the work to apply these things. Before I dig into today's content, I want to remind you how important it is to share, to review, to subscribe, to send it to somebody that you think might enjoy it.
If you scroll down to the bottom of Apple, there's a way there to just leave five stars and then put a little rating, put a little review there. That really helps this work get out to more people. It shows Apple and all of the other platforms that you like it, that you want more people to hear it.
Messages from Listeners
So, I really appreciate when you do that and if you have the time, I would love, love, love that. I've been getting messages from you, which I love, so keep them coming saying things like this: “I have completely changed my relationship with my son from listening to your podcast, thank you.”
Another one, “I recently found your podcast, and I've cried every episode. I have three boys and a Master's in Special Education; and yet, I seem incompetent to parent my youngest, who's 10 years old. Finding your podcast was like finding my group of unicorns. Everything you say is my world and your solutions feel so right to my soul. I'm excited to continue learning and growing from you. Thank you for giving me hope.”
One more, “Yesterday, I've been binge-listening to the podcast. It's such great input, and I'm confident that it will help me improve my mom-skills. And, I'm really, really happy to know about you, and thankful that your high-quality content is free of charge.”
I want you to know that through listening to the podcast, you actually can get this transformation. I am giving you all of the tools that are necessary for you to take it and to do the work.
So, today, let's get into the juicy stuff. I'm going to give you a workshop in five minutes, and then I'm going to share about my amazing group coaching program. If you didn't get the chance to attend my workshop or watch the recording, which I will post below in the show notes, I am going to summarize the main points of that workshop in five minutes and give you all of the big hitters there and all of the things that will give you the biggest shifts as quickly as possible.
Workshop in Five Minutes
So, if you've been around, hanging around my podcast or Instagram for a while, you know I talk a lot about - think, feel, do. The way that we think, makes how we feel in our body, and then fuels what we do; how we show up in the world.
So, if we want to change our parenting, the Do part of that equation, then we need to go back to the Think part of that equation. And, that's what Causal Coaching is all about; it's all about the Think. Now, one of my favorite quotes is, “Don't believe everything you think.” I don't even remember who posted that on Instagram, but I love it, and it is so true.
The main premise of everything I do here is that the most effective way to raise emotionally intelligent children is to become emotionally intelligent ourselves first. So, if we want to see them change, we need to make that change happen first; and the change happens through our thoughts because of – Think, Feel, Do.
Now, there is five main thought blockers that are keeping us stuck from parenting in the way that we want. And, I'm going to review all of those as quick as possible;
- So, let's dig into number #1.
I want you to think about something that bothers you about your kids; maybe this is that they yell too much, maybe they're too whiny, maybe they're too needy, maybe your teen talks back. Just think of like a specific thing that you can think of recently that happened, that frustrated you.
Now, I want you to dig down a little bit; what was it that frustrated that about you? Like, why? And then, once you get to the Why, I want you to go even below that, like, why did that specific thing trigger you? What about it made it a problem for you? What did you make it mean about you?
When we keep going layers and layers deep; okay, why? Now, why is that a trigger? Now, what is the problem there? It usually comes down to just a few root or core beliefs. And, most of the time with this one, it is shame and judgment for us.
Like, they would listen more or they would yell less, or they would obey me more if I was a better parent; like, maybe it's my fault. So, number #1 is to stop the shame and judgment. So, quickly on a scale of 1 to 10, I want you to rank your relationship with you; so, how positive your thoughts or beliefs or your feelings are about you?
Number #2. Why is it not a 10? What are some beliefs that come up, keeping you from loving yourself at a 10? Now, once you think about those thoughts, I want you to notice how all of that thinking that you just brought up, how does that feel?
Then going back to - Think, Feel, Do - I want you to think how you show up in the world, how you show up as a mom, how you show up as a person in the world when you feel that way; how does that affect your parenting?
All right, so that's number #1.
- Number #2. I want you to think about changing your thoughts comes from not living on autopilot. So, one of the thought blockers is that we are living on autopilot. We don't think with intention, we don't notice our thoughts, we're not aware of them, we're just kind of running around in the world the way that we've always done it.
So, first of all, the change happens through noticing what those thoughts are, noticing what those beliefs are, and thinking more intentionally.
- All right, number #3 is to stop being so emotionally reactive. One of the reasons that we can’t parent in the way that we want to is because we're emotionally reactive. And so, the answer to this is to sit and feel your feelings, to learn how to name your feelings, to take better care of you, to learn emotional regulation skills yourself, so that you can teach them to your kids.
- All right, number four is to stop teaching through force and coercion; and instead, teach through connection. If you think of all of your favorite teachers in the past, they likely had a good connection with you, and that is why you were inspired to learn and to change and to grow; that connection needs to come first. So, stop focusing on the negative behavior. Stop focusing on the force and the coercion, and focus more on creating connection; and just notice how that teaching happens naturally.
- Number #5 is ignoring our inner voice that often keeps us blocked. We all have parental intuition. Most of us think that somebody else is the answer and we don't, but we really do. There's a quote from Dr. Deborah Macnamara that she said on my podcast at the beginning of Season 3, she said, “The answer is inside you, get out of your head and into your heart.” I truly believe that.
All right. I hope you’ve enjoyed that workshop in five minutes.
Group Coaching Program
Now, what I want to talk about is my group coaching program by design. Now, like I said, doing the work is so important, right?
We don't want to just listen and consume all this great information that's out there. That can still be helpful, and that can still give us those little shifts and changes. But if we want the bigger shifts and changes, we need to actually be doing the work, implementing these teachings.
And, the people that have messaged me from the podcast that said how transformative it was for them, they are taking that and implementing it. So, if that is working for you, go ahead, keep doing that. It's amazing. I'm so glad that it's working for you.
I truly believe that anyone who has a human brain needs to be doing some sort of mindset work, or meditation, or thought work, or life coaching to help them get to where they want to be. And, to just clean out that thinking, right? It's like this closet that we have, that's just so full of clutter that we don't even know what's in there; and so, we need to be consistently going and cleaning it out.
So, if you have somebody that's already helping you with that, that's amazing. If you don't and if you would like a guide, if you don't want to just go through and listen to the podcast and do this on your own, but if you want somebody to show you, I would love to be that guide for you.
Something that I've noticed is that there are some thoughts and beliefs that are just so stuck and seem so intrinsic that we can't loosen them ourselves, that we need somebody with that outside perspective to really help us to shift them.
And, that's what life coaching is. We can see things in a different perspective than we might be able to see just with ourselves and doing it on our own. I would love to be that for you.
I combine these tools. I combine emotion work, meditation, tapping into intuition, and a whole lot of self-love to help you on your healing journey. And, I know that this the most effective way to change our parenting.
I know so many people out there that are like, “I want to do conscious parenting, I want to do gentle parenting, I want to be a cycle-breaker; I want to do things differently than what was handed down to me, but I don't know how.”
And, they feel like they're just pushing and pushing and pushing to find the How, and kind of just pushing themselves to parent in a way that doesn't feel like it's coming naturally. Well, I promise you that this way can come naturally.
It does come naturally. It flows easily from a healed space. I'm not saying that the healing is easy or that we don't have to continuously do it, but it is very natural and intuitive from that space.
Messages From New Members of The Group Coaching Program
I want to share a few messages with you from members that I've gotten recently that are in my program right now;
“I just wanted to thank you and let you know that I am finally receiving answers to 20 years of desperate prayers through you. Thanks for following your passion and blessing people's lives.”
Another one, “Thanks for all the time and effort you put into the class, as well as all the other areas of help you offer in the program. I'm so grateful for the skills I'm learning and for what you helped me to see that I would miss on my own.”
Here's another one, “I'm loving your program. I'm a coach too, and I need to continually create space for myself so I can balance motherhood, so that I can grow my business. And, your program is helping me a lot.”
Another one, “This philosophy has been so amazing. I've made some small changes in the way that I think, and I've made more conscious choices about how I spend my time on a daily basis. I feel more clear on what I really want to do, and I've had a lot of great moments with my kids. It feels miraculous. I want to thank you for everything you're teaching.”
One more, “I've been seeing my son doing well, and I'm really seeing shifts in how I am showing up and responding to him. It's been so empowering, and I feel so proud. Huge thank you to you.”
I am so grateful for these women in this program. I'm grateful for the people that listen to my podcast, and I'm grateful for the people that I get to share with on Instagram.
I would love for you to come and join this program with us, if it feels good for you. If it feels like the next step in your journey, and you feel that little inner nudge - that this will be helpful for you, that this will be beneficial for you - I would love for you to come and join us.
The doors to my program are open today. If you're listening to this and it's no longer February 28th, send me a message and see if it's open. The program is going to be opening only a few times this year so that I can really focus on helping the women that are in it. It won't be opening again until the end of July 2022, so I can really give that focus and attention that I want to, to these women that are coming in.
I also want to quickly mention, if you didn't already check out the program, that once a month, we have a Partner Call where you, you can bring your partner onto the call and they can get coached as well.
And, they also have access to some of the digital courses and extra content that are in that program as well. So, if you're curious how your partner can fit in with this program, let me know. Thank you again for being here. Thank you for digging into this Season with me.
I am so very excited to see where it's going to go. And, if you have any ideas, any people that you'd like to see, any topics that you feel like are really pertinent to you, are really weighing on your heart, I would love to hear them so that I can address them in a future podcast episode.
Go find me on Instagram @the.parenting.coach, and we will see you next week. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Make sure that you give it five stars on Apple, and check out my monthly membership for moms in the show notes.