S05|26 - A Parenting Story: How One Mom Decreased Her Kids Meltdowns and Increased Connection

Wouldn’t it be nice if our kids did exactly what we wanted, when we wanted them to? THEN parenting would finally be easy. THEN we could show up in the way we want in the world… but that’s not how it works. We can’t change them, no matter how hard we try. We can change US though, and there is SO much power in that. Tune in to this client story where we dig into all the changes that happened for my client and her husband as we coached together- and what changes she incidentally noticed in her kids, as she stopped trying to change THEM.

On the podcast today:

• The journey of my client and what spurred her into looking for parenting support
• How she desired an even deeper connection with her kids, and to parent differently than both her and her husband had been raised, but struggled to implement what she desired
• Getting on the same page as her partner isn’t what she thought it was (emotional connection and support, more than the same beliefs about parenting)
• How her kids meltdowns decreased in intensity and frequency, as connection increased, when she focussed on what was in her power to change (hint: it wasn’t her kids that started the change)

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Coaching has changed my own life, and the lives of my clients. More connection, more healing, more harmony, and peace in our most important relationships. It increases confidence in any parenting challenges and helps you be the guide to teach your children the family values that are important to you- in clear ways. If you feel called to integrate this work in a deeper way and become a parenting expert, that’s what I’m here for.

Get the BOOK HERE: www.coachcrystal.ca/shop
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IG: @the.parenting.coach
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Episode Transcript

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hi, I'm Crystal The Parenting Coach. Parenting is the thing that some of us just expected to know how to do. It's not like other areas of your life where you go to school to be taught, get on the job training, or have mentors to help you learn. Now, you can get that help here.

I believe that your relationship with your children is one of the most important aspects of your life, and the best way that you can make a positive impact on the world and on the future. I've made parental relationships my life study, and use life coaching tools with connection-based parenting to build amazing relationships between parents and their children.

If you want an even better relationship with your child, this podcast will help you. Take my Parenting Quiz, the link is in the show notes. Once we know what your parenting style is, I'll give you some tips tailored to you and a roadmap to help you get the most out of my podcast. I invite you to help me spread the word by sharing your favorite episode on social media or with a friend.

 

Welcome to the podcast today, A Parenting Story: How One Mom Decreased Her Kids Meltdowns and Increased Connection.

Wouldn't it be nice if our kids did exactly what we wanted when we wanted them to? Then parenting would finally be easy; then we could show up the way we want in the world. But that's not how it works. 

You might have tried before and you might realize this; we can't change them, no matter how hard we try. We can change us, though; and there is so much power in that. 

Tune into this client's story where we dig into all the changes that happened for my client and her husband as we coached together, and what changes she incidentally noticed in her kids over time as she stopped trying to change them. 

This has also been my story too; that as I dropped trying to change them, trying to modify their behavior – and started to just focus on love and connection and relationship, not only with them, but also with myself, my relationship with me – that everything started to change. 

So, tune into this story and listen to; what spurred her into even looking for parenting support in the first place, her desire to create a deeper connection with her kids – her desire to get on the same page as her partner and how it didn't really turn out in the way that she thought that it did, but even better than what she had thought…and how her kids meltdowns decreased in intensity and frequency as connection increased when she focused on what was in her power to change. 

This is, again, one of my favorite episodes. I love bringing my clients on to talk all about this. So, come and tune in and listen. 

Also, if you haven't seen, I have a book linked in the podcast, a mindset journal for parents; go check that out because it's going to be awesome. 

And also, the next round of Parent School is going to be opening right away. And another one of my clients offered to have calls with people. 

So, if anybody's interested and, kind of, on the fence about it and would like to talk to somebody who's been through it before, she offered to have a little conversation with you about it – either over email or Voxer or Zoom or whatever. So, give me an email and I can get you connected with her. And let's dig into this story today. 

 

The journey of my client and what spurred her into looking for parenting support

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hello and welcome to the podcast. Thank you for being willing to come and talk to my audience today a little bit about your journey. First of all, why don't you introduce yourself as much or as little as you want to share.

 

Client: Yeah, hi. Thanks for having me. I am a mom of six kids; they are 14, 13, 11, 11, 9 and 6. And we homeschool them. I don't know what else you want to know.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: No, that is awesome. Also, the last person I had on my podcast homeschools; and no, I don't just work with homeschooling moms, it just happens that way sometimes. 

Okay. Amazing. Why don't you tell us a little bit about what your parenting was like before you started coaching with me, and a little bit about maybe why you signed up – or what kind of urged you into doing this work right now?

 

Client: Yeah. I feel like I've always considered myself pretty connected to my kids; that was, at least, always my intention. I was trying to be connected, but I would-- I feel like before we worked together, I would struggle a little more kind of swinging into old patterns or the way I was raised. 

It felt a little chaotic at times and I didn't quite know how to fully step into a more Connection-Based Parenting, even though that was my ideal and what I wanted. 

And so, I could be like a really great mom, and then I could swing over into really controlling or…yeah, just a little more chaotic. So, I signed up because I wanted to land in the Connection-Based Parenting more fully. 

And I also wanted to be a little more aligned with my husband and help us figure out where we were going to land because it did feel a little like I was trying to reinvent parenting, you know, do it differently than how each of us was raised. 

And sometimes it would work, and then sometimes we would revert or not really know what to do. And I just wanted us to kind of get on the same page and figure out what was going to work for us and how to move forward, and really be intentional about how we were parenting.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah, I love that. I love that. And so, if you're listening today and feeling that same way, because I think a lot of us do – a lot of us are like, "Oh, I really want my partner to be on the same page." 

You don't have to have your partner come to the calls, but you can; and it was awesome that I was able to work with you and your partner this whole time. And I do think it made it such a cool experience for everybody. 

So, I want you to tell me a little bit about going through this experience, what do you feel like were the biggest things that changed or shifted or that you learned throughout?

 

Client: Yeah. Well, surprisingly, one of the biggest things I learned was not-- I think you come in and think, 'The kids are going to change, now I'll know how to deal with them.' Right? 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

How she and her partner started understanding each other better after coaching

Client: And what was surprising is one of the things that was most empowering and impactful for my husband and I, is that we started understanding each other a little bit better. 

It opened up conversations about; why we do what we do, what's triggering for us, what makes us react certain ways, why sometimes we can have the Connection-Based Parenting, and why other times we would swing into old patterns. 

So, having those conversations and the coaching element that really got us talking about what was going on for us emotionally and, you know, through our thoughts and what we were thinking, really helped us to make progress personally. 

Before anything changed with the kids, we started having shifts with how we were communicating and accepting each other emotionally. So, I feel like we have grown more supportive of each other. 

We moved through-- It's not like all the triggers have gone away, or we never have a hard time or even the old patterns.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Client: But I do feel like when it happens…we are more accepting, and kind; and like, "Hey, I'm noticing this is hard." 

We're more graceful towards each other, which helps us to move through it and come back to connection-based faster.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Totally. It's like more supportive. I love that you already knew that you kind of wanted this parenting style before because that's what I feel like I was too. 

Like I kind of already had this in my mind and already was like, 'Yeah, this sounds amazing, but like, how do we actually implement it?' 

And I also love that you pointed out that it doesn't mean that it's perfect now because I think sometimes, we're like, "Now I'm never going to yell and I'm always going to be calm – and everything's going to be lovely and parenting won't be hard at all, ever." 

But it's not that those times don't happen and that, not that you're still feeling triggered sometimes or you still respond in a way you don't want to – but you do know how to move through it with so much more grace and compassion. And I love that you did it together so that you can both be that support for each other also.

 

Client: Yeah. I will say that my husband did not go to the classes or watch, maybe he watched one.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Client: But he did come to the coaching halls. For him, that was what he needed. I came to everything, but I still feel like we were able to make a lot of progress and really work on it--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. 

 

Client: Each picking and choosing what was supportive to us.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Your husband came to our one-on-one coaching calls, and that was a really great experience also. So, even without all of the rest of the education and workshops and stuff that we do, it was still – it was still supportive. 

The other thing I loved that you said too, which is totally my story was that like my, I thought my kids were going to change. I was like, "Wait, when my kids change, then I can totally show up as the mom that I want to…I just need them to change first."

 

Client: Yeah. It's kind of thinking that if I say it right or come up with the right consequence or figure out the right framework, then the kids will stop fighting and do the things…and figure it out. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.

 

Why the client has stopped searching for 'the perfect formula'

Client: And so, that's-- I felt like I was always searching for kind of the perfect formula. And if, you know, 'This time the chore chart's going to work or this time that--' whatever the thing was.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: And everything will-- Then they'll turn into not children, they won't complain anymore and they'll just listen the first time.

 

Client: Yeah. So, I think one of the things that's happened is I've stopped looking for the perfect formula. I mean, not that-- I still try things. And I think that's one thing you really taught is to trust our intuition, to kind of think about what we think we're trying to teach. 

You taught us to ask; what's needed, and what am I trying to teach and why. And then kind of listen to that intuition to figure out what we think we should do moving forward. 

So, I still try things all the time. I identify like, "Hey, there's kind of this problem area, what do I think we need and move forward?" 

But I do think that it's less thinking that there's a magical way to figure it out, and then it'll be perfect…and more just what do we need today to help us with something that might be a little bit challenging. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. 

 

Client: There's less drama.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: There's less drama and more intuition, and that intuition space is where we create those interesting solutions. 

And also, I have to point out that they're so unique too because like everybody comes and wants like, what is this perfect formula? What do I say? What would you do? Right? 

Like coming to a call and being like, "Wait, how do you respond to this? Let me figure out how you respond to it." Versus, how would I respond to it from my intuitive space? Because there's no like one way to be a gentle parent or be a respectful parent, everybody has their own unique tools and abilities and personality that they're bringing to it. 

And I think that's what makes it so magical is that we're like leaning into like, what am I already good at? What do I love? How do I respond? What's my personality like? And let's use that in my parenting.

 

How she desired an even deeper connection with her kids, and to parent differently than both her and her husband had been raised, but struggled to implement what she desired

Client: Yes. Yeah. And I would say that I also had some things that I was doing that I had the best of intentions – and I thought they were really useful and helpful. And going through this, Parenting School, I realized that sometimes I'm doing my kids a disservice. 

And one of the examples I can give is that when my kids would feel heavy emotions, I knew they should feel emotions. I didn't want to, you know, deny them or act like they didn't exist or send them to their room or shame them in any way. 

But I also found myself logically trying to talk to them and like explain. One of the things I learned is that that is not helpful when they're in an emotional state. And so, I really appreciated that, and I do find myself stopping myself more often than having a logical conversation when my kids are emotional; and that's been really helpful.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. I just barely posted a Reels about this like, don't parent in the fire. Like when they're feeling that strong emotions, there's no logical learning for them in that moment. And so, just like pausing and waiting. 

And also, when we want to logically talk them out of it, it's because some part of us feels like that emotion's a problem and we need to fix it. Right? Like, almost like they have a wound and we need to come in and wrap it…instead of, let's just sit with them for a bit. Right? 

Because we, even us as adults, when we're upset, when we're frustrated…we don't want our partner to come in and just be like, 'It's okay, feel better…like, here's a Band-Aid, here's a blanket, you're better." 

Versus just like, "Let me tell you what I'm feeling, "Let me have you validate those emotions for me, and let's connect for a little bit here." 

So, it really is just all about connection every step of the way, and connection looks differently in every situation. And when you are in that – when your kid's in that emotional state, connection might look just like sitting with them and not saying anything and like being there with them as they go through that. So, thanks for bringing that up also.

 

Client: Yeah. And I think it's temping to like offer a happy thought, a positive thought, like an affirmation. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. 

 

Client: And try to talk them out of it and that might feel like it's not parenting the way we were raised of like, suck it up--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. 

 

Client: Have some dirt on it, kind of all the-- All the, like, 'You shouldn't have emotions, sentiments--' 

It feels better than that, but I guess I've realized that I was still trying to fix it, which is implying that there's something wrong and they shouldn't be feeling that way.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah, totally. And Brené Brown talks about this as like an empathy miss; an empathy miss is like when we go into fix-it mode instead of just, like, sitting with that emotion with them and just being with them. 

That was totally my number one too. Like when I read her book and learned about that, I was like, "Oh my goodness, I do this every time." 

And I thought it was like, kind and loving. But it was really kind of like sweeping their emotions under the rug as I try to just like fix it instead of just allowing all of that. So, I'm glad you brought that up also. 

 

The difference between Parent School Coaching and the Client's previous coaching experiences

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Was there any other little differences? I mean, you've done coaching before. Was there any other differences between what you learned here from the past, any of the past personal healing work that you've done in the past?

 

Client: I think that it's just been a lot more empowerment and kind of collaboration-based versus think happy thoughts.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Mm-Hmm.

 

Client: I think sometimes coaching – and I love coaching – but I think sometimes, people can get in this mindset of, 'If I just think about it differently, then I will feel happy – and everything will be wonderful and roses and daisies and rainbows.' 

And I think that there's a little bit more acceptance in this method that you've been teaching me, and not having to feel like we're broken or something's wrong. Even when there's high emotions or people are having a hard time, I feel like it just kind of flows a little better. 

So, back to what I was saying at the beginning, it's not like all the hard emotions have gone away, but I don't feel like they make us break down or ruin the day or anything like that. We just kind of move with them.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Yeah. Move with actual normal human life where kids sometimes do fight and they sometimes do yell, and we sometimes don't show up in the way that we want to – but sometimes we do. Sometimes we're really patient, like…all of that just bundled into like, this is actually what life is and easing into life – and with less like resistance of it just makes it turn out much better.

 

Client: -more of a collaboration-based way to do it. It's more, we're all on the same team and this is okay – versus, you're thinking about it in a bad way let's fix that so that--

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. So, that we can all feel better and move on. Yes.

 

Client: Yes. That's a little more blaming individuals for how they're feeling or what they're thinking; and this was definitely more empowering and collaborative.

 

What's different now in the Client's life since beginning coaching

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Okay. I love that. So, my last question for you would just be what shifts-- I guess, paint a picture of what it is like now. So, now that it's been a while, I think we've been working together for four months – just wrapping up shortly – what do you feel like is different now than before you started?

 

Client: I feel like I'm better able to be present and enjoy my kids. Yesterday, I was starting to get frustrated with my 14-year-old who I think I, I don't remember the details. I think I had asked him to do the dishes and something about his behavior or how he was doing it, I was just feeling a little bit annoyed. 

And then, I just kind of watched it though. And then a minute later, there was Christmas music on and he came over and asked me to dance. He really likes swing dancing, lately. 

We started dancing together, and his face was just beaming and he was smiling; and I was like, "I was judging him like two minutes ago for dishes – and yet, here he is wanting to spend time with me." and we're like laughing and having a great time. 

I felt like I just opened up to that moment and feeling really present, and not worrying about the dishes. And you know what? Later he did the dishes and it didn't really matter – but I think I used to get hung up on like, they're not behaving the way I want them to behave…and I'd be like, stewing about it and kind of--  

That would be where my brain power was, that back end of my brain, which meant that I was less focused on the beauty that was right in front of me and enjoying my kids. 

So, I think that I'm better able to see how sometimes it's not really truth, it's just my brain wanting to cause a problem, wanting to judge, wanting to place blame; and I'm able to set it to the side and just really be present and enjoy my kids and trust that, "It's all going to be okay, he's going to figure it out." And, you know what? He did.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. I love that because I have noticed in my journey too is that like so many times, it just works out. 

Like if my brain doesn't go to, like, "It needs to work out right now and I need to do this and I need to teach them this lesson and I need them to do the dishes," or whatever it is that our brain wants them to do--  

If we just like relax and we disconnect and we just let it go, so many times, my kiddos – even the ones that are a lot more difficult – typically, will come back and do the thing that I ask them to do, or it'll just like…it'll just kind of settle, we'll all just get to that point where everything is kind of together again. 

And before, I feel like I used to be the one kind of pushing and pushing and like, 'No, now, now, now.' So, I love that that was your experience too. 

 

Getting on the same page as her partner isn’t what she thought it was

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Is there anything different that you notice now?

 

Client: I mean, yes, I feel like my husband and I-- You said we don't have to be on the same page, and I agree with that; we're not. He totally does things differently, but I think we're more supportive of each other – and because we've now had all these conversations about how we're going to parent and what we want to do, it's not like we decided, "Okay, now we do it this way," and it's always the same. 

But when we do things differently, I feel like we're better at honoring it, and like, "Yeah, that's fine." There's not a right way. There's not a wrong way. It's not trying to find that secret magic formula, remember? So, if my husband does it differently, it doesn't mean he's wrong.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. Okay. That should be framed, "If my husband does it differently, he's not wrong", because so many of us want to get on the same page, but the truth is, getting on the same page means like releasing the idea that we even should be--  

 

Client: Yes.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: We are friends with people that don't agree with everything we agree with or believe everything we believe or show up in the same way that we show up, and we're totally fine with that. 

We don't have to be on the same page in order to support each other, to connect with each other, and to give our children an amazing childhood; they're going to see both of our mistakes and both of our, you know, positives and amazing things about us also. And they'll learn from both of us in different ways and have different relationships with us, and that actually makes life kind of awesome.

 

Client: Yeah, it does. So, I really appreciate that. I think I thought that we would come out of it doing everything the same, having a methodology…that it was like, 'This is how we do things,' and we don't--  

And yet, I still feel like we're on the same page now just because we both know how to emotionally support each other in being different and we respect each other where it's more acting out of alignment and being supportive…rather than judging or thinking there's a right way – or thinking we need to help the other or solve little differences.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Imagine if that was the new, 'getting on the same page', if it was like we just get to support each other emotionally for whatever it is that we're going through and just love each other, and respect that we have differences and that's okay. Like, that sounds like so much more of a wholehearted and human and amazing way of being on the same page.

 

Client: Yeah. And as you say it that way, honestly, that's how it has been with my 13-year-old. I've been-- He's been a challenge a little bit lately. And as you described that, I'm like, "That's what has shifted for me." 

He's still a teenager with emotions who doesn't always want to, you know, do the things I want. But I feel like the more I support him and emotionally love him and keep the connection and the trust that he knows what he is doing, or that he has the best of intentions…I can still communicate things that I want to happen, but I am less controlling and more supportive, which is helping us. 

It's not like he always does everything I want now, but he is more – I think he feels loved; and he's been expressing that love and saying 'Thank you' more often. 

And so, I have this hope that it's not that I need to figure out, what are all the things I need to make them do, what are all the things that I need to do – it's more understanding that if we are loving each other and we're connected and we trust our intuition – for myself, my husband, and my kids, that 13-year-old I'm struggling with – it's all going to work out.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.

 

Client: I don't need the magic formula.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. The magic formula is inside of you; you've always been the magic formula, and we all are. 

Okay. I lied; I have one more quick question. And I don't know what your answer is going to be to this – but I know in the beginning, we all come in thinking like, "I want my kids to change…I want something to like say or do so that it can be easier to parent them, basically." 

So, we realized throughout the program that like, 'Okay, it's actually not them…like they're just human, they're just little children, this is totally normal, and we work on ourselves – and we turn in words and we do our own healing, our own mindset work, our own emotion work.'

 

How her kids meltdowns decreased in intensity and frequency, as connection increased, when she focused on what was in her power to change

Crystal The Parenting Coach: But through that process, have you noticed any changes with your kids at all? Like, have they personally changed, do you feel like?

 

Client: Yeah. I mean, my six-year-old has way less meltdowns. She still has meltdowns, but she is not having them to the degree or the scale that she used to. 

I think some of that is because I don't try to talk her out of it anymore, like we talked about; I wasn't trying to like be mean about it or anything, but me changing and not freaking out about her having a freak-out definitely has helped her stop. We still have challenges or things. 

My 11-year-old twins, yesterday, they kept elbowing each other. I was starting to like get a little emotional and I left the room to go sit down and just like, whew. 

And my husband followed me and was like, "Are you okay?" And I was like, "I'm just taking a minute--" which is good, you know, this is how we kind of communicate now. We're a little more supportive of like, what are we needing? 

And he said, "Remember, Crystal, said that they don't really understand that hitting is wrong until they're like 13 years old." 

And I was like, I don't remember you saying that. He just was like, "It's totally normal, this is okay…we don't have to condone it, but we also don't have to freak out." And it just, you know, helping ourselves be a little more calm. 

Yes, I don't want my twins to be elbowing each other and just like poking each other when they sit next to each other, but maybe that's what they're going to do and it maybe it's going to be okay.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes, yes. So, yeah, because emotional regulation skills, that's probably what he was talking about; that concept of being able to self-regulate where we like can calm our emotions down without punching and hitting and yelling and screaming like we want to, doesn't often happen until 12 or later. It's like a lot of it is like co-regulation. 

So, a lot of times when my daughter does it, I just tell her like, "Okay, don't worry…like when you get older, your brain's going to develop even more and it'll be a lot easier to like not hit people when you're angry or not, you know, throw things when you're mad or whatever – it's fine, our brains are doing this.' 

So, I think the gold in that story is that it's how we change how we show up. Right? When I think like, 'Okay, this is actually really normal and this is totally fine,' then I show up in a different energy than I did before. 

So, I love that. I love that story. Thank you for sharing, and thanks for being with us today. This was awesome, and I think it'll be really helpful. 

I think there's so much power in sharing our stories and sharing the hope that other people have also to just like, keep doing the work and keep looking inwards at ourselves – and what's happening with us, and how can we be more supportive for ourselves. 

And then it just kind of flows to our kids. My story was the same. I noticed so many shifts and changes with my kids, even though I kind of had released that and been like, "Okay, the work is me. What can I do here?" And that it really did change their behavior also.

 

Client: Yeah. I think we all kind of hope to find this magic formula. 

I'm really glad that we went through Parent School because it makes me realize that maybe we're just a little more normal than I think, and there's not really an emergency or anything really awful that we need to solve, which opens me up to being more calm and regulated and connected with my kids just in the everyday moments and not needing to have a meltdown because my twins think that they should elbow each other. And maybe that's just normal 11-year-old boy behavior.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Maybe that's just normal, and it doesn't mean you don't have to say anything about it or whatever. Like, you might still say something about it, but--

 

Client: Yeah. We just keep reinforcing-- I love what you taught. Sorry to interrupt. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. 

 

Client: You taught me that boundaries is not like a clear-cut, do this or else, it's more a statement of a value that you hold.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. Oh, that is a perfect definition. I'm going to write that down.

 

Client: You treat different bodies with kindness.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. It's a statement and a value--

 

Client: -each other, and I'm just like, "Hey, we treat each other's bodies with kindness," or, you know, whatever that value is, that's a value, that's a boundary…is stating a value with intention of how we want to live, how we hope to live, how we hope to treat each other – not in a negative or condoning way, but just, you know, they need to learn it. It's our job to communicate it; to keep telling them, "This is how we want to live."

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: And aren't they going to learn it so much more than if you like, yelled at them, sent them to their room, spanked them…like whatever I else, like our old traditional patterns are that have been passed down to us, we're actually teaching them this way. 

Their brain is like prone to learn because they're in that a little bit more calm state. We're just like naturally and gently saying it over and over and over again. And eventually, they learn. 

Like our kids pretty much all learned to put their clothes on and to brush their teeth and to like walk and to speak and to read. And we just kept reinforcing that over and over again, just like gently; it wasn't like, "You have to learn it right now." We just allowed it to be developmental, and it can be behavioral.

 

Client: Yes. And I thought that the boundary had to be figuring out what's the right consequence, would the right—Like, "If you cross this line, here's what happens." And now, I understand that it's just me continuing to state those values in a loving and calm manner, allowing them to figure it out. And I believe they're going to figure it out.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Okay. What a beautiful note to end on, I believe they're going to figure it out. And I think that is like such a key…is like learning's developmental, they're learning these behaviors developmentally also. 

They're all going to learn it at different stages and ages. Doesn't matter at what time it happens, it will happen. And then, we just can relax and feel more relief. And yes, we're all human. We all--  

All the stories you explained today. I'm sure any mom listening is like, 'Yep, yep, that happens in my home too.' 

So, thank you for sharing, and thanks for being here today.

 

Client: Thanks. It was great.

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Thanks for listening. If you'd like to help spread this work to the world, share this episode on social media and tag me – send it to a friend, or leave a quick rating and review below so more people can find me. If you'd like more guidance on your own parenting journey, reach out.