S07|10 - Elevating Motherhood: The Impact of Life Coaching with Danielle Thienel

Danielle is the author of a new book, The Cyclone Mom Method. Today we talk about her own path into life coaching, and how one conversation with a coach changed things in her home (no more cooking!) and how much joy and satisfaction she feels now. Danielle discusses her new book with us, and how we can use the tools in her book to enjoy our own motherhood more. 

Danielle Thienel is a certified life coach who supports faith-filled moms helping them balance their busy lives. Through her coaching program, books, speaking engagements and podcast, Danielle's mission is to have moms maximize their full potential, have more peace and joy in their mom-life and become the mom God created us to be. 

What we talk about this episode: 

• How to transition in a healthy way when your kids start college
• How your life can change completely through one conversation (coaching and therapy)
• Going from overwhelmed and burnt-out to joyful and satisfied in your motherhood
• Danielle’s new book and what “being the calm center” means in a cyclone

Links:

• The Cyclone Mom Method Book
• Podcast: The Peaceful Mind Podcast for Busy Moms
• Instagram or Facebook: @daniellethienelcoaching
• Website

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oaching has changed my own life, and the lives of my clients. More connection, more healing, more harmony, and peace in our most important relationships. It increases confidence in any parenting challenges and helps you be the guide to teach your children the family values that are important to you- in clear ways. If you feel called to integrate this work in a deeper way and become a parenting expert, that’s what I’m here for. 

Download the feelings wheel HERE
Get the BOOK HERE: www.coachcrystal.ca/shop
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IG: @the.parenting.coach
Email me at [email protected]

Episode Transcript

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hi, I'm Crystal The Parenting Coach. Parenting is the thing that some of us just expected to know how to do. It's not like other areas of your life where you go to school and get taught, get on the job training, or have mentors to help you, but now you can get that help here.

I believe that your relationship with your children is one of the most important aspects of your life, and the best way that you can make a positive impact on the world and on the future. I've made parental relationships my life study, and I use life coaching tools, emotional wellness tools, and connection-based parenting to build amazing relationships between parents and their children.

If you want an even better relationship with your child, this podcast will help you. Take my Parenting Quiz, the link is in the show notes. Once we know what your parenting style is, we will send some tips tailored to you and a roadmap to help you get the most out of my podcast. 

 

Elevating Motherhood: The Impact of Life Coaching with Danielle Thienel

 

What Danielle Thienel does

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Danielle is the author of a new book, The Cyclone Mom Method. Today, we talk about her own path into life coaching, and how one conversation with a coach changed things in her home – no more cooking – and how much joy and satisfaction she feels now. Danielle discusses her new book with us and how we can use the tools in her book to enjoy our own motherhood more.

Danielle Thienel is a certified life coach who supports faith-filled moms, helping them balance their busy lives through her coaching program, book speaking engagements and podcasts. Daniel's mission is to have moms maximize their full potential, have more peace and joy in their mom life, and become the mom God created us to be. 

Hello friends and welcome to the podcast today. I have a friend on here talking to us; I'm really excited. We're friends in real life too. We actually met, took the same advanced coaching certification through Jody Moore a few years ago, and so we've been friends since then. So, I want to introduce you to my friend Danielle. Hi, Danielle. 

 

Danielle Thienel: Hi, Crystal. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: I'm so excited. Thanks for coming on. I was recently on Danielle's podcast. We had a fabulous conversation over there; and at the end, she was talking to me about her new book that was out. And as she was going through all the different parts of her book, I was like, 'Oh, this is a real-- this would make a really good episode, I want you to come on and talk about it.' 

Because I didn't even know she had a book out until we did that interview. So, I was really excited to hear that.

 

How Danielle adjusted to her kids leaving home for college – Empty nest syndrome

Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, first of all, before we dig into kind of you and your story and your book, I want to let the listeners know right before that we pressed record…I noticed that Danielle had just been sending her kids off to college and stuff, and I was asking her about that because here's my thoughts about sending kids off to college – because I feel wholly unprepared for this – I feel like I need another 17 years with my child at home.

My oldest is now 17, he's going into his last year of high school; and I just feel so sad about it. Like, 'No, but I want him to like be at the home-- at the house forever.' 

And I know not everybody relates to that, and some people are just like excited for their kids to be gone; and that's fine too. But I just feel not prepared. I feel like I want so many more years with him. 

So, tell me, say again what you told me about how you've kind of like wrapped your mind around it and how things are going now.

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah. Well, first of all, I want to say that what you're feeling is normal. And last year at this time, I was feeling the same way. Or even when it was my girl's last year of high school--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: -you kind of have to, like what we know, you kind of have to just go through it until-- And I feel like I'm a little bit on the other side. So, to back up, I have three children; I have twin girls, so they're 19 right now…and then I have a son who is a junior in high school. I still do have one at home but my girls went to college, last year was their first year of college. 

And of course, twins; I'm sending two off at once, and so I'm going from three down to one. And yeah, there's lots of emotions like when that happens, right? Because what we were talking about, Crystal, is how fast it goes, like we're just going to put…that is just a fact, right?

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: It's not a-- Everyone in the world agree that it goes by fast. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah. And so, yeah, there's this new stage of motherhood that you said that you have to kind of like go to and you have this new identity where you are no longer just like having everyone in your household all the time. 

And so, last year I was. I was-- I was happy that they had made this decision and felt good about it…that they wanted to, you know, go off and have this part of more education – but I was sad, and what's life going to be like when I'm not needed for them and things like that? And what was life going to be like, you know, afterwards – and lonely?

But here's the truth; nowadays we have things called FaceTime, and you know, we can see what they're posting or something like that. And so, yeah, I did go in with a little bit of anxiety too, hoping that roommates were well, friends well… that they would, you know, be thriving. 

But you fast-forward a year, I just took both of them now back to school, for a second year; and it was totally different. It was totally different in that they already were not worried about what it was going to be like; they already had that information behind them, and had friend groups so they knew what they were getting into. 

So, there was just this, more of a less of a stress hum than there was the year before. But also, on my part because a lot of the unknowns were checked off. And then, I had to go through it last year – but I also found out that there was some real positives, right?

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: First of all, since they did thrive, it told me like, "Okay, you did your job as a parent…you did a good job, you set them up to be able to handle themselves and be independent." And that filled a place in my heart that I didn't know. 

Like, you've got this sadness, so it feels like a hole when your kids go off – but what I didn't know is like…oh, there would be parts of it that would fill that hole back up because they're thriving and you know that you had a part into helping them get that way. And then, as I was saying before we hit record, there were also some things like there was less cleaning up to do at my house.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Mm-Hmm.

 

Danielle Thienel: There's less laundry to do at my house, less distractions or, you know, just kind of--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. 

 

Danielle Thienel: You know, there's quietness that wasn't there before, and that stuff is really nice. And including, which I didn't mention before, where you're not racing around and taking them to activities…and you have more time with your spouse.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: So, there's a lot of positives too.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: There's some good things too. 

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Thank you. Thank you. Sorry friends for not letting Danielle introduce herself, but I was just like, 'Oh, I want to not forget this, I want to have this little conversation first.' 

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Because this is not something I've ever gone into before and I have friends doing similar things, and I think it is such a big transition that isn't talked about a lot. This transition of like having these kids home that you're working on your relationship with them, and you-- And it's great, right? 

Like, my kids are wonderful and we have such a good relationship now and we love spending time together, and it's such a different energy. I'm glad that we're here, but it also makes it more sad for them to leave because I have worked so much on that relationship with them.

 

Danielle Thienel: I think that's a good reminder too, Crystal, to know that that is the point. Like all of the hard stuff and the challenges that we're going through with our kids right now when they're at home is like, what we truly want is to have them be strong, independent adults who know how to do the, like, common sense things or the – what do they call it when you're like – life skills. Right?

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.

 

Danielle Thienel: And you want-- When I send mine off, we still want them to know like, 'We love you so much, we're here for you.' You know?

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: 'We're going to give you your independence, but know that we're always thinking of you and call us.' 

But just realize when we're in the daily grind with our kids right now at home and it feels hard and it almost feels like sometimes it'll never end…just know that that's all the work we're doing is so that we can let them fly out of the nest--

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.

 

Danielle Thienel: -when the time comes. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Totally.

 

Danielle Thienel: And it'll be our job. It is our job to then determine for ourselves as parents what that next stage of motherhood would look like. That is why I actually prepared becoming a coach when I did, because I knew the transition would be when my focus wouldn't be so much of my children…and then I wanted to have something that was there for me.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.

 

Danielle Thienel: And it like works now because now all my clients are like part of my family.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Part of your family. 

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: I love-- I just love community so much; and I love that there's always people like farther ahead than you, you can be like, 'Wait, how was this part?' 

Like I remember this girlfriend that I had years ago, and we met she was just wonderful and we're still friends – but we met when she was having her fifth and I was pregnant with my first, so they're the same age. 

And I just constantly texted her; I was like, 'Hey, wait, is this normal?' Or like, is this supposed to happen? Or, what do I do now? And I loved having those friendships in that community that we're able to help. And I think this is so-- This is so powerful too. 

And being able to expand it through social media and those kinds of connections you can make to have people that kind of can guide you in the next phase to be like, 'Okay, it is sad, but it's okay.' 

I don't think my house is going to be any quieter. If anything, I think it's going to be louder because my oldest is like the most chill, helpful, one of the four.

 

Danielle Thienel: But you will find that could be true. But this is what I found it is still, it's 50/50…when my kids were here, there's amazing things to have them-- about them being home. And then there was hard things about them all being home. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: And now that they're away, there is some amazing things about that – like if I tried to tell a few. And then there's the hard part, like that's what we want to see is that every stage of motherhood has amazing parts about it. Like all you moms right now, you get to have them snuggle in your lap—

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

Danielle Thienel: -and you get to rock them to sleep and give them kisses all over without them, like, you know, I don't have that anymore.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: But yet, I don't have to be in Carline today. I don't have to drop off at gymnastics or soccer.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Or being woken up a hundred times, or changing diapers or--

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah. And so, this is where it's 50/50 in each stage, so if moms can remember that.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. That's such a good reminder that like, there's always going to be like the heavy, hard parts of every phase…and there's always going to be the wonderful parts too. I feel like this was already such a good segueing introduction to who you are. You're just such a lovely person, Danielle.

 

Danielle Thienel's journey into life coaching

Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, thank you for that. Let's back up, like-- You know, now that we've like chatted about motherhood for 10 minutes already, let's back up and tell me who you are and how you got into this.

 

Danielle Thienel: Okay. So, I am Danielle, who's a certified life coach; and I help overwhelmed Catholic and Christian moms find more joy, peace, and balance in their life because this is how God created us to be – that's what he meant for us. 

And so, yes, I do that through a group life coaching program…through one-on-one coaching. And I just am called to serve moms who are out there unnecessarily suffering, I guess. And I feel like – and you can totally attest to this, Crystal, right? – like we have some knowledge that came to us that changed everything for us. 

And so, for me, my mission are moms out there, just lack a certain knowledge and understanding. It's not like anything's missing or broken or wrong about them; you just don't know what you don't know. 

And so, that was my story; I was an overwhelmed mom – so this is exactly who I focus on helping – who was juggling all the things, right? As we just mentioned, that comes with running a home; I worked outside of the home as well.

Then you have your relationships, and then you're trying to get your kids to all the activities and making sure that you're raising them in the faith. And, you know, again, this is not-- my story is not new. 

All of us moms understand we can go through all of our lists and daily tasks and responsibilities – but in my case, I had thoughts like, 'I'm pretty well organized, I am smart, I went to college…how come I am just always feeling constantly exhausted, overwhelmed, run-out and short with the kids?' 

And I was like, 'I dreamt of being a mom,' right? 

And I found myself in situations where I'm just like, but I did not dream that it was going to be--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: This was not part of my dream. Yelling in my dream.

 

Danielle Thienel: That's right. And at this point in my life – where the turning point came from me – again, I said I was working outside the home, so I had lots of like blame for my boss at the time for how I was feeling what I had to do. I blamed having the job itself for like rushing through, I don't know, reading with my kids or always feeling like I was rushing around. 

I was also taking care of my elderly parents; and we removed them across the street so we could care for them more easily, but there had to be renovations with the house. 

And so, I was in the middle of-- we know what happens when we're in the middle of construction renovations, where there's lots of payments and time zones. Like, you know, schedules that are going longer than you want to. And there was some stress coming up with all the decisions you make with that and with dealing with your parents' opinions on it all--

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: And trying to get my kids to all of their activities, and they had multiple each. Right? And then you just feel like you're behind, that you are like failing…you're like not doing, you know, good enough. 

I was-- I am a recovered perfectionist; and at the time, it was like you just wanted to get an A in all of it, but I didn't feel like I was doing that at all. So, I was really in blame mode. Blame that if my boss would just, you know, chill, then I wouldn't have to be upset…if the contractors would just be on time, not double-charge me or whatever, then I wouldn't have to deal with this. If mom would just like the white cabinets and not demand dark cabinets, then I would--

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: And if kids wouldn't forget their lunch or get the wrong schedule, then I wouldn't act like this or I would then be better. So, of course you could see it was all the opposite of what we have learned. I gave all my power away. 

And it was through coaching, it was through the principles and the tools and the concepts that coming to coaching…when I started learning them and realized it wasn't me, I just had this information about how my mind worked and really who was in charge and what I was choosing to do with my mind that changed it all. 

I started applying those by getting coached, by investing in coaching; and I started applying this and my life exponentially changed. I rose in satisfaction in all areas, and it started--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: And it's interesting. Like, it's that like, I'll feel better when.

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah. Right. Exactly.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Like all of those things you were like, 'Oh, I'll feel better then.' But the thing is, whenever you get close to that goal, then it always changes. Even when the renovation's done, you're like, 'Well, now I'm taking care of my parents because they're there.' 

 

Danielle Thienel: Yes, exactly. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: And now, I have like a different job or a different boss or a different-- Like, the circumstances just change, but we're still waiting to feel successful, to feel joyful--  

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: -to feel like we have a good relationship or like we are happy with everything until something instead of finding that satisfaction now.

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah. So, for me, I literally just…through the midst of all, I still didn't have like any light-bulb moment until I got sick. And when I say I got sick, it was the flu and bronchitis that it morphed to. 

This is-- My thing was that for the first time in a long time, I got a physical ailment that had me being still. I was in bed for two weeks; and this is when it was during that time, you know, that this was what caused my transformation or my new path. 

But this is what I want to tell moms, do not-- I don't want you to wait until what happened to me happens. But in this time, I was just like, guess what happened? I realized the world went on without me. The kids got to their-- My mom picked up some stuff. Friends, kind of, come in. My husband did some things…you know, all of that.

But after that two weeks, guess what? Everyone was still fed and bathed and got to school and got to their things. Somehow, it showed me like I didn't have to do it all – but I went-- I still at this point, didn't come up to it until I went back to work. 

And I tell that it was-- I was booting up my computer; I couldn't wait to have the beach scene show up on my computer because that's where my happy place is to relax at the beach. But it was at this time that I was waiting that I did get-- This is when I heard the spirit speak to me; and it was like, 'It's time for you to let this job go.'

That this was one of the things that wasn't on the priority of my list at this point. And so, I followed the spirits call, and I made drastic changes in my life. And I actually started putting myself first when I got home; I concentrated on more faith time in the mornings, more exercise on me…getting healthy, getting myself feeling better. 

And when I did that, this is when being able to problem-solve with my parents and the contractors became easier. I had more bandwidth to help my husband and my kids. I was more coming from a calm place. 

So, for those next few months as I applied these coaching things that I was learning and taking care of myself first, I just started to see things differently; so, it wasn't push and work hard and do more and more, it was actually first it took, "Be still and know that I'm God", it took that first. 

And then it took the hard things to let go of some things that weren't fueling, you know, weren't necessary in my life. And then it took a focus on me. 

And I will just say it was a focus on me, but I actually-- The divine order that I put it, I really got focused on my Christian faith and was starting to really dedicate some time there…and then that snowballed into me. And then that had me-- Putting God first and then myself, had me showing up for my spouse and my kids and my parents in such a different way.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.

 

Danielle Thienel: Then I found that ended up being the order.

 

How Danielle found life coaching

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Okay. So, tell me, how did you even find life coaching in the beginning? Because like years ago, I didn't even know what a life coach was; I thought it was someone that would, like, call you in the morning and be like, 'Get out of bed and let's apply for jobs today,' and like, you know, drives you around town or something. Like, it was so different than what I imagined.

 

Danielle Thienel: I do, but, so my story's interesting. So, my very first career I was a professional ballet dancer. And I have been naturally, I was somebody who-- I grew up with a very positive, optimistic dad. You know? 

And I liked that feeling that I got around him from him always like looking at the bright side; he always came from this, 'We'll figure it out attitude.' You know, as opposed to my mom who was a little bit more like, 'Oh no, I don't think we can do that.' Or, you know, a little bit more from a constricted lack. 

And so, I just naturally liked and like that kind of positive attitude. So, I feel like I was-- I kind of go already on the optimistic thing when things happen in life. So, during-- You know, the dance world and where I was a professional dancer, there's a lot of criticism and, you know, critiqued. 

But I always was looking at the bright side and always trying to show up for myself and my fellow dancers and stuff like that so much so that they actually gave me a nickname of the life coach.

And I think what that was is because of how they felt about themselves when they had this, like a conversation with me because I did always give them encouragement and things like that. But so, that was kind of like the first where it was just like a nickname. And it's interesting because you're like--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: That's fascinating, right?

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah. But I also want to put that in that; I also watched an Oprah Winfrey episode when I was in the middle of dancing that she had two life coaches on, including Martha Beck, which we kind of know who that is more. 

I forget the name off the top of my tongue right now, but I have her books because that day when I saw that episode, I totally loved the energy and feeling that came from these two ladies and how they helped them that I bought their books that day that I still have on my shelf today. 

And I just have an-- I just-- like lots of self-development books and stuff I like. But again, I was a career as a professional dancer and loved it; and that was wonderful. And after that I wanted to be focused on becoming a mom when I retired from the stage. 

And so, this is like, I think it's so interesting how-- You know, we just love how God works. Like I feel like the seed was planted in my heart in that episode and that kind of nickname, like that kept it--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. It's so interesting that it was like this just like tiny little like thing in the back of your mind.

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah, little seed. It was a little seed, right?

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

How one conversation with a coach changed things in her home

Danielle Thienel: Until another time where I feel like this was watering because this wasn't the big changeover…is a friend of mine that I met through my husband's work; I met her and you know, we kind of hit it off and we're friends, but she became a life coach and she needed practice when she was first--  

She asked me if I would be one of her customers, and I said-- Okay, it's not like I had any pressing problems that I knew of to like see a life coach, which now I understand you don't wait for problems for a life coach. Right? Life coach--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Just go now. 

 

Danielle Thienel: I met with her. I met with her at a Whole Foods, I remember this because my whole brain got blown open that night with just one session. And she was like, so what can I help you with? 

And I really like had to dig deep. I was like, I think-- You know, because, again, I'm so positive, I can always look at; life is good, my kids are healthy, I have strong marriage, I love my home. You know, that kind of thing. 

And then I was like, 'Well, there is kind of one thing that rubs me, and so I guess I can--' 

And she's like, 'What was that?'

And it was literally about my distaste for cooking, the pressure that I put on myself to have home-cooked healthy meals for my kids--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.

 

Danielle Thienel: -while my husband was away at work; and I was a stay-at-home-mom, which I absolutely had wonderful thoughts about and loved. And it's that part of my day, like going to the park or--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: You know, all the other parts…like, not a problem. I know it's self-imposed now, but that pressure…I didn't grow up cooking. Like when I came home from my dance lessons, meals were there warming on the stove for me.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: And then my mom was the type where she was like, 'Get out of the kitchen, I'll call you when it's ready.' It wasn't this, come-- So, I just didn't have a liking for cooking. 

So, I really put a lot of pressure on myself through that day as a young mom of three now…and so, that's what I brought to this life coach with a few questions because I was so strong and tough on, 'This is what I have to do…I'm the mom, I'm the woman, I'm home, he's at work – I have to have a meal when he comes home.' And it was--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Right. And I want to mention too, like when we say self-imposed, we mean I'm thinking this thought. 

 

Danielle Thienel: Yes, definitely. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: But that thought didn't necessarily come from me, right? Society was like, this is what it should be like.

 

Danielle Thienel: Yes.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Like there was so many--

 

Danielle Thienel: I took it on as a fact. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. 

 

Danielle Thienel: I took it on as a fact that since I'm home, I'm the one who needs to--  

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes, me too.

 

Danielle Thienel: But I never-- I never grocery-shopped or did all the list stuff. Like, it just didn't come natural to me and it wasn't fun. Now, organizing and cleaning and all that, like all day long, I love it. You know?

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: That's awesome.

 

Danielle Thienel: But this life coach said, she asked me questions enough like, 'Well, have you ever talked to him about it? Could you-- Does he like to cook? Could you imagine that that's not something that was required of you, you had to?'

I just left there with new thoughts that it was a possibility. So, I had a conversation with him that night; and it was like all about five minutes where I said, "This is what happened when I, when I met Connie today and I talked to her, and she asked me…I just wanted to tell you like, I don't like it…it's a lot of pressure and I feel like I have to-- (that kind of stuff)." 

And he was like, 'Oh, I'll do it.' 

And I was like-- He's like, 'Yeah, no problem.' He goes, 'I like to cook.' He's like, 'It's not a big deal for me.' He goes, 'Actually, when I was in college, I kind of liked going to the store--' I was like-- Again, like my brain broke open. I will tell you--

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. You're like, how have we never had this conversation before?

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah. But I will tell you since then-- And again, like, this is when my kids are small, and my girls are up to college and 19 now. So, we're talking like, I don't know, maybe somewhere between 10 and 15 years.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: That I don't shop, don't make the list, don't cook, don't do all that; and I haven't. And I attest it every time I see Connie, she apologizes to my husband, but no…she's like, but I can-- But this is where I got a taste of how powerful one coaching session was to change the trajectory of my whole life.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.

 

Danielle Thienel: And that wasn't even my big turnaround. My big turnaround came a few years later when I told you that story about becoming sick--

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: -and always being in blame. And then that's when I made the decision to come home. I put God first, put myself, and then I started feeling better and things-- And I actually went out with Connie about nine months into leaving my job when she introduced me to the podcast of The Life Coach School.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Oh wow. 

 

Danielle Thienel: That was her again. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: What a full circle, like from the very beginning when people gave you this nickname--  

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: -to where you are now. And I love that there was just like these little tiny steps along the way. And even when you said like, "Well, my big transformation didn't come until later," but that was a big transformation. That one conversation led to such a huge change in your life. 

And the exact same thing happened to me, like it was specifically around cooking. And the funniest thing is that somebody asked my son the other day, 'What are the differences? Like, how's it like having a mom with a life, that's a life coach? Like, what's different in your life because of it?' 

And he was like, 'Well, she doesn't cook anymore.' 

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: And I thought that's so funny because that is one of the changes that happened, and I didn't even sit down and have a conversation about it. I kind of just realized like, 'Oh, I don't have to just like cook the meals all the time if I don't want to.' 

So, some nights I just didn't feel like it, and people would find leftovers or my husband would start cooking. And now, he cooks way more often than I do because he wants to sit down and have a meal and stuff. And sometimes I do, but I choose to do it. 

I'm like, 'Oh, I want to.' And so, then I like cope with an idea and do it – but I don't feel that pressure of like, I have to cook all of the time. And it's so-- And it was you actually that pointed out when I was on your podcast, the importance of having…or the power of one single conversation, one single coaching session. 

Because I was telling you my story about meeting with a therapist once and how it wasn't even just once, it was like one phrase that she said within that hour-long conversation – and I never even met with her again after that – that really changed the trajectory of my life and my relationship with my kids. 

And so, if you're listening to this podcast and you're thinking like, oh, it takes so long to change and these-- It really doesn't. It really-- It can take a while, but there's also these little moments that happen that really just like kind of explode your brain and change things.

 

Danielle Thienel: After listening to the podcast, it all like…again, there was that spirit moment where it's like, 'Ah, this is the next thing.' And as I knew that my children were in high school this age, and soon they would be where we are today, where they were out, I had more time and energy on my hands to focus on something. 

I decided that I wanted to not keep this secret that other moms were out there suffering needlessly, and they just didn't know what then I didn't know at one point…but now that I did, so I decided to become certified. 

And then after when it was to choose who I wanted to focus on and help, it was just exactly who I was…was an overwhelmed mom who just wanted to feel more joy and more peace in their life, and that the bridge to get there was some of these missing tools and concepts. 

That's why I decided. And then, the faith-based-- The faith-based part of it is just, it's too ingrained in my life who I am to leave out of my business, so that's who I focus on is…you know, Faith-Based Coaching.

 

The Cyclone Mom Method book by Danielle Thienel

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Okay. I love all of that. And that kind of takes us to like the very last question, which is about your book. So, Danielle has coached lots of people now – she coaches for Jody Moore, she's coached people in her program for a few years; and she's kind of created her own method of what she takes people through. She calls it The Cyclone Mom Method. 

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: In like, just a brief one- or two-minute synopsis, tell us a little bit about your book. I know it's going to-- it's going to be hard. We're almost out of time, but I really want to hear about your book. Just tell us like what each of those-- what that acronym is, what each of those mean. I guess you kind of already told us who the book is for; it's for those overwhelmed moms that want to feel more joy and satisfaction in their life.

 

Danielle Thienel: Okay. Yes. Okay. So, it's The Cyclone Mom Method. And let me just tell you the cyclone mom, where that came from.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.

 

Danielle Thienel: What it comes from is because I read this, I feel like it was one of my devotionals – but a cyclone is a type of-- We all know that's a type of storm…but in order to be what it was created to be by God – in order to exist, in order for it to move forward – it has to have calm center. 

And the correlation where I saw is in order for the cyclone to live out its God-given intention…in order to be its true self…it needs a calm center. And I saw like, so do moms – so that is where The Cyclone Mom Method…because that's where the power of the storm to move is found, in the calm center. So, that's why I named my method this. 

And what the book tells you, it tells you how to call upon your God-given power. And so, for you all who have been long listeners to your podcast, know that our God-given power is our brain, our minds. Okay? And how to call upon that in order to remain calm, in control, and confident as a busy mom. 

So, that's that whole calm center because when you can do that, that's when you'll be able to move forward and create that life that you want. And through my years of coaching, I can see coaching mom after mom, they're just-- After you do it for so long and do it with so many moms, you see patterns…you see what they're lacking and then what would fill in for that.

 

The 5 steps to become a cyclone mom

Danielle Thienel: And so, I came up with the five main steps that when you do follow these, you will be tapping into that power to remain calm, in control, and confident. And this is no matter what life throws you because the circumstance is the swirl of the storm; and we're always going to be met with new circumstances, right? And so, the five steps in order to become a cyclone mom, as I put it, is to; 

 

1. Call on your faith

Danielle Thienel: number one, to call on your faith. Okay? To seek and see how Jesus lived, to ask what he would be thinking. Like to ask him to bless your plans, see how he lived here on this earth because he remained calm or he would go to moments of silence or prayer. That's the best place to always start when you're just, you know, wrapped up in life and stuff's going on, is to call on our faith if you're a faith person. Okay?

 

2. Clarify your goals

Danielle Thienel: The second thing of the method is to clarify your goals. So, many moms were coming to me; and I'm like, 'Okay, you can totally tell me all about your problems.' No problem, right? But when I asked them, 'Well, what would you want it to look like?' Or, 'What is the scenario that you would like if you weren't anxious or guilty or worrying or overwhelmed?' 

And they can't answer because they're not thinking about it or don't have a clear vision. So, I help my moms get a clear vision on what their life would look like if they were joyful, in balance, and felt more peace.

 

3. Connect with yourself

Danielle Thienel: Then the third step of The Cyclone Mom Method is to connect with yourself. This is me-- This is the know thyself. Are you a people-pleaser? Like I was a perfectionist; I needed to unravel that, right? Are you someone who questions your worth all the time? We want to concentrate on you as the mom because when you help unravel some of those limiting beliefs and identities that you've had about yourself, that will unlock so much. Okay? 

 

The fourth step, because I'm trying to keep it under a minute or two. 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: You're doing so good. 

 

Danielle Thienel: Am I? 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. 

 

Danielle Thienel: Okay. I feel like if anyone has this on double-speed, that I'm really going to sound like a chipmunk. Okay. 

 

4. Confidently be mom

Danielle Thienel: Step four of the method is to confidently be mom. This is where I help moms, first and foremost; where are they in their self-care journey? 

What is your thoughts about self-care? Do you think it's selfish? Because this was my story; I could not show up like the mom I wanted who didn't yell so much and who was calm when something spilled or-- You know, I couldn't do that unless I was, you're really putting yourself in self-care as priority. 

And this is where I want you to question like, decision-maker, become a strong decision-maker. Do the best you can. Like, what is your status of good-enough mom or being a good mom because it's different for each mom. So, in this step, that's where we dive into that.

 

5. Take control of your time

Danielle Thienel: And then the last step is to control your time; take control of your time. And I've created a course that's called Divine Time that actually shows us and unravels our beliefs about; there's not enough time, I have too much to do, I'm behind. 

Like we've got moms-- We're always going to be juggling a lot. There's not that day when it just, where it vanishes, right? And time is our most limited resource. I got rejuvenated in this particular step when my childhood best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer and then ended up passing away from it. 

And I have my whole vision of time and really digging deep to helping moms see that we're the ones who make it abundant and expansive or lack of time, and we have limit-- This is our most precious resource. 

She did not have the time that we thought we were going to have together on this earth, nor did her children get that. And so, she was the one that taught me, now is the time to find joy in your life and your motherhood. And so, that step in order to be able to feel more in control of your busy life, then that last step is imperative.

 

So, these are the five steps of The Cyclone Mom Method that I have laid out in my new book with the same name that is now available in a digital version with a bonus goal, workbook and audio version because I like to listen to books on audio. So, that is what's available out now.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: I love that. I love that your last step too kind of ties in so simply to the very first step of like – or the very first thing we talked about where you were like, 'Well, I'll be happier when I don't have this boss…and this renovations are done, and this--' 

Because the end is just like, 'Wait a second, how can I be happy right now?' And looking at things in such a different perspective. 

So, thank you. Make sure everybody goes and checks out her book. I will have a link to all of those things in the show notes. 

 

How to connect with Danielle Thienel

Crystal The Parenting Coach: And real quick, Danielle, how can people work with you? Where can they find you?

 

Danielle Thienel: Yeah, well, you can-- Having a link to this book, especially, is one way to connect and find out more about me and get to know me. I'm on Instagram and Facebook, @DanielleThienelCoaching. My website is my name, DanielleThienel.com. Yeah, that's it.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. We'll have all those below too, so you can go connect with her there; and find her on Instagram, send her a message, and tell her about this episode. Thank you, Danielle.

 

Danielle Thienel: I love that.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Thank you for coming today.

 

Danielle Thienel: You're so welcome, Crystal. It's such an honor to be here. You know, I love you dearly and all your work that you're doing with moms too. So, thanks so much.

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Thank you. Thanks for listening. If you'd like to help spread this work to the world, share this episode on social media and tag me – send it to a friend, or leave a quick rating and review below so more people can find me. If you'd like more guidance on your own parenting journey, reach out.