S06|10 - How to Change Your Life with Master Coach, Corinne Crabtree
Apr 17, 2023Corinne Crabtree is a Master Certified Weight and Life Coach with a mission to help every woman break generational curses in order to improve their personal health and wealth. Corinne lost 100lbs 15 years ago and ever since, she has dedicated her life to teaching women how to do the same.
Corinne Crabtree is one of the leading voices in the weightloss and business industry. She’s the host of the wildly successful podcast, Losing 100lbs with Corinne, which has been downloaded over 50 million times in 160 countries. Over 1 Million women have taken her free weightloss course and Corinne now serves over 14,000 paid members in the No BS Weightloss Program.
On this episode we dig into:
- How Corinne lost 100 lbs and what inspired her journey of healing
- Dropping “all or nothing” and “perfection” and digging into enough-ness in health, parenting and business
- Parenting a neurodivergent child and how to set healthy boundaries
- How to care for yourself in nourishing ways, which might look different than others
- Small and simple changes may seem pointless are the ones that make the biggest things happen
Connect with Corinne:
- Losing 100 Podcast/No BS Weightloss Program Facebook - HERE
- Instagram - @Corinne_Crabtree
- No BS Business Women Facebook - HERE
- No BS Business Women Instagram - @NoBSBusinessWomen
- Podcast HERE
- Website and Free Course HERE
- Advanced Weightloss Coaching Certification HERE
- No BS Business Women HERE
- No BS Business Bootcamp HERE
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Coaching has changed my own life, and the lives of my clients. More connection, more healing, more harmony, and peace in our most important relationships. It increases confidence in any parenting challenges and helps you be the guide to teach your children the family values that are important to you- in clear ways. If you feel called to integrate this work in a deeper way and become a parenting expert, that’s what I’m here for.
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More about Corinne:
After being a featured expert at The Life Coach School and having her business rank #1052 in the Inc. the 5000 Fastest Growing Businesses of 2022, Corinne founded the No BS Business Women’s Membership.
The program provides online entrepreneurs with simple frameworks, tools, and focus they need to take action and build the business of their dreams. In addition, Corinne offers advanced weightloss life coach training for coaches, dietitians and medical professionals who want to improve their client's weightloss outcomes.
You can catch Corinne on Facebook and Instagram talking sh** about the diet and online marketing industry. Her greatest passion is helping women get rid of their old sh**ty thoughts by using self-love to never quit on themselves again.
Episode Transcript
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hi, I'm Crystal The Parenting Coach. Parenting is the thing that some of us just expected to know how to do. It's not like other areas of your life where you go to school and get taught, get on the job training, or have mentors to help you, but now you can get that help here.
I believe that your relationship with your children is one of the most important aspects of your life, and the best way that you can make a positive impact on the world and on the future. I've made parental relationships my life study, and I use life coaching tools, emotional wellness tools, and connection-based parenting to build amazing relationships between parents and their children.
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Don't forget to check out my new mindset journal for parents at www.coachcrystal.ca/shop, which will help you to parent calm, confident children that you love to be around.
Welcome to today's podcast episode, How to Change Your Life with Master Coach, Corinne Crabtree.
What Corinne Crabtree does and how she got started
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Corinne is a Master Certified Weight and Life Coach with a mission to help every woman break generational curses in order to improve their personal health and wealth. Corinne lost 100lbs 15 years ago and ever since, she has dedicated her life to teaching women how to do the same.
Corinne Crabtree is one of the leading voices in the weightloss and business industry. She’s the host of the wildly successful podcast, Losing 100lbs with Corinne, which has been downloaded over 50 million times in 160 countries. Over 1 Million women have taken her free weightloss course and Corinne now serves over 14,000 paid members in the No BS Weightloss Program.
I can't wait for you to hear this interview. It was such a great interview. We covered things like parenting, motherhood, weight loss, diet culture, and business. It's a really amazing conversation. You're going to want to tune in, and I would love to for you to share it on Facebook and tag both of us in Instagram and all the things; and write a review, if you love this episode.
Hello everybody and welcome to the podcast. I have a special guest with me today. I'm super excited to bring her and her story to you guys today. It's going to be awesome. I'm actually just going to let her introduce herself because we're going to talk all about kind of her story and how she got to where she is. So, Corinne, take it away. Let us know a little bit about you.
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah. So, I'm Corinne Crabtree. I am the host of the Losing 100 Pounds podcast, and I run two memberships now; I have a Weight Loss Membership, which is what I've been doing for a long time…also the Business Membership that was born out of the Weight Loss Membership.
After I grew it, I was like, "I need to help women learn how to start their businesses, nobody out there is teaching them like the basics of doing it."
So, I grew up really broke, really poor. My mom was 17 when she had me. My daddy was 16. She was uneducated. They were divorced by the time they were, or she was 21. And I grew up eating fast food and eating buffets and going from babysitter to babysitter – eating in the car, eating as fast as you can, as much as you can, that kind of thing.
How Corinne lost 100 lbs and what inspired her journey of healing
Corinne Crabtree: And so, I had a significant weight problem most of my life, and bullied; was always just always the biggest kid in the class. Sat out in PE all the time, like not by choice, but because the PE teacher would tell me, 'No one's going to want to pick you and I don't want to make them have to pick you.' So, she would just send me out all the things.
And so, when I got to my thirties, I had a little boy. He was one year old, and I was really struggling; I had some postpartum depression – just tough, tough, tough time, and knew that I either needed to get my life together and figure out how to take care of myself or I was going to be at risk probably for a very dark road.
I had in my teen years, I had attempted suicide. I just like had such a hard time in my early growing up years. And so, I decided to start with some walks and lose some weight; and just really, I was on a mission to just feel better.
And so, I lost a hundred pounds and kept it off, decided I wanted to help other women lose weight. I wanted-- My main thing when I first started losing weight was when my son, when I was too tired to play with him, like I wanted to lose weight.
I never wanted to be the kind of mom that didn't have those opportunities to play with their child. My mom never did because she was always working, and I wasn't able to play with mine simply because I was depressed and eating all the time.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I remember hearing you share that story, and that was my favorite part of your story is when you were sitting there and he wanted to play with you and you were like, "I can't, like, I'm too tired."
And I think that really hit me because on this podcast, so many of us are moms – I'm sure dads listen also, but so many of us are moms – and I think we can relate to that…just so overwhelmed, overworked, burnt out. And then getting to the point where you're like, "Something has to change, I didn't want to give my kids this life."
Corinne Crabtree: Well, and that was the other part of like, my motivating factor was because I was so bullied in school, I felt like the worst thing that could ever happen to my child was to be bullied for their weight.
And I just remember thinking, 'If you don't take care of you, you're going to pass on this legacy of obesity to him, you're going to pass on all of these eating habits.'
And I was so checked out, like I was either, I was-- I was a functional mom; like from the outside I was taking him to the park, I was doing things…but it was laborsome. Like I had just like--
I remember taking him to the mall and he didn't like the stroller, so I'm like over 250 pounds trying to carry him because he always liked being up high, plus pushing a stroller.
It was exhausting, like so physically hard and I just didn't want that for him. Like, it was-- I didn't want that life for me, just as much as I didn't want that life for him. So, like, when I was first starting to lose weight, my biggest Whys were tied up between like, he deserves better and I deserve better than what I was doing. So, it was-- It was just really important to me.
Small and simple changes may seem pointless are the ones that make the biggest things happen
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And I also love the part of your story where you talked about where you started because it wasn't like you were like, 'Now, I'm just going to like go to the gym and do all these programs.'
And like, it wasn't this crazy thing. It was just like something little because I think sometimes, we're in the depths of it. We're just like, 'Well, there's no way I'm like getting up and changing everything in my life.' But didn't you just start by like, just walking, like just a small amount every day?
Corinne Crabtree: Yes. I tell people all the time that one of the things that I believe in in weight loss is; if your diet requires you to morph into a completely human being overnight, you picked the wrong one. It just, it's a no.
And for me, like when I was deciding what am I going to do, I knew that I had failed so many times at traditional diets that I was going to have to; one, lose the weight in a way that I knew that I could live my life.
And at the time, I was very dependent upon food for my emotions. So, anything that I did, could not be overwhelming. It was not going to be like, give up a lot of things and do a lot of things and stuff. I sat and thought about, what did I need most?
And what I needed most was some small wins; like, I just needed to see myself doing it so I wouldn't quit again. So, I made an agreement that I would wake up each day and I would do something just a little bit better or a little bit different.
So, I always was putting my mind to work on like; anytime I ate, is there something small that I could change? Because it made sense to me that; if I made changes, eventually weight loss would come…if I made changes, eventually I'd feel better.
So, that meant the only thing I really had to battle, like, one of my earliest changes was; I was a McDonald's girl. Oh my God, I loved McDonald's. In fact, right now, I could get down on a fish filet. I've always loved-- And people that say like, 'Oh, it doesn't taste that good,' if you've ever been a McDonald's lover, that is some bull.
I'm going to tell you; I still think it tastes good, but I remember I would always order a number two super-sized with mayonnaise instead of mustard. So, it was like the two little cheeseburgers and stuff. And I'd get a Diet Dr Pepper, and then I would get a Butterfinger McFlurry.
My first change was, 'Alright, we're going back to mustard, we're not doing mayonnaise anymore…that's our first change.'
So, I wasn't ready to give up McDonald's. I wasn't ready for-- You know, that was sometimes the only break in the day that I got. And I was like, 'All right, well, until I can figure out the rest of it, then I'm going to make these small changes.'
Those were easy to do, and it was like-- I always tell people, "Make changes that in the moment you want to argue, no, it's so obvious that you can. It's like whatever your brain says, has got to be a lie.
And so, my thing was the only thing I had to argue with was the part of my brain that was like, 'That's not good enough.'
And I just feel like, 'Look, what's not good enough is sitting around doing nothing.'
I'm actually doing something and I know logically it makes sense that if I at least do some things, something good will happen. But sitting around trying to do really hard things that's not in my DNA right now.
And I just don't think there's anything wrong with admitting where you're at and starting to make progress. I know that some people teach, do all the hard things.
And I think there are people out there that absolutely can do that. And if you're prepared for it, go do it. But if you're not, do not do anything because you're not that person.
You know, like I have spent-- It's been 15-plus years since I lost my weight. I now-- This version of me has made enough smile changes to know that I can do hard things.
So, when I sign up for stuff now, people are always like, you're so successful…you know, you do all this hard stuff. It's like, I taught myself how to do it, but there was a version of me in my thirties, she had to take step one; and step one might as, it was big…and that was leaving mustard off of a sandwich.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Well, your other--
Corinne Crabtree: It's going on a 15-minute walk.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Your other small step win that I love that you talk about is ice cream. Like instead of eating it out of the bucket, you just put it in a bowl.
Corinne Crabtree: Yes.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And like, that seems so small, but that actually makes a big difference. And I think the mustard to mayonnaise…like even just going on like little tiny walks, those seem so much more reasonable.
And when moms have kids at home and, you know, they're dealing with all this stuff – especially if you're parenting kiddos that are a little bit more difficult than the norm, which is what we typically deal with here on the podcast – if you were just like, I tried-- I tried 75 Hard for like a second, and then like once you--
Corinne Crabtree: I was like, I even tried it after I'd lost weight. Like I tried it of like a year-and-a-half because people kept talking about it.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Corinne Crabtree: I was like, 'Well, I'm going to do it because I can do hard things now.' And I wanted to see what it was all about because I wanted to do a podcast on it; it was awful. I was like, "75 Hard is not for this person."
Dropping "all or nothing" and "perfection" and digging into enough-ness in health, parenting and business
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Well, yeah. And I also think-- I hate that they are like, "Hey, now you have to start at Day 1 when you mess up."
And I just don't think that's the best way to treat yourself, right? To be like, 'Okay, well, now I have to start all back again.'
Because I've talked to people in the past who had experiences with other programs that were like that; and it was so inherently shaming because they felt like they'd really messed up, that they actually gained more weight or they actually stopped doing whatever the good thing is that they were doing.
And so, maybe you're the kind of person who's like, 'Yeah, I can totally do all-or-nothing,' but I think majority of the humans can't. Like the majority of us are like; we can just do these small things or these small changes that, over time – like you said – makes such a huge difference.
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah. So, like the way our brains work is so contradictory. So, our brains think an all-or-nothing; it's like, it's this or that.
Our brains love binary; and it just wants to say like, I'm either eating an Oreo or I'm eating no Oreos, or I have to eat the whole sleeve.
So, if you think about in weight loss, in particular, and one of the things that like hoses us as moms is; we have a bad day, our kids are sitting there having an Oreo with dinner, we eat one with them. We're like, 'Oh my God, I've been so bad.'
And next thing you know, the second they go down, we're like, 'We might as well eat the whole sleeve, we need to get that out of our--'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Exactly.
Corinne Crabtree: But our brains are not designed to change on a dime. And like, it's like this ultimate contradiction. It's like we are very wired to think in black-and-white terms, all-or-nothing; but when our brain needs to change, it's wired naturally to like sneak up on it.
It's like incremental slow things, like getting your brain to freak out when you're doing stuff. So, we have to-- And when we understand all that, we start getting some relief, like, "Oh, it makes sense, this is why I have these patterns…and then if this is how my brain works, now I know how to override it or I know how to navigate it – work around it, and those kinds of things."
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Totally. And you can just set yourself up for so much more success when you see, because there's so many different brain patterns that we have.
I also wonder too about your story. If you think if your son wasn't in the picture and it was just you in that same kind of a situation, do you think you would've had the same motivation to change or to grow? Or do you think it would've just kept continuing your same pattern?
Corinne Crabtree: You know, that's a good question; nobody's ever asked me. I don't know. I honestly-- I remember when I was 17, when I attempted to take my own life, I didn't have any reasons to keep going.
And then the only other time I was starting to kind of get down that path again, because I've battled depression my whole life. Like, it's easy for me to just wake up one day, and literally feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
I think he was a reason for me to-- It was like the one thing that tripped me into like, you just can't give up. Like, I had a husband; and I love my husband, we're still married and he's amazing and all kinds of things, but I don't think he--
I think it's different when you have a child. Like for me, like this was a human who relies on me; you know, and you came out of my belly. And so, like, there's just a different intensity there.
I don't know that I would have, honestly. It's hard to say, but I would hope that no matter what, I would've chose myself over, you know, just continuing to eat and probably go down a dark road. But I don't know that I would have.
But it was very compelling for me because once I started having to tell people my story, the one thing that stuck-- Like whenever you're a success in something and people want to know how you did it, you kind of look back and you think about things that made you success.
That day was the first thing that my brain left out at me. And it was like, 'Never forget this moment, this is when it started and this was the connection that you made.' And so, I don't know because it was so laced around Logan.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. And I wondered that just because I think a lot of us as moms relate to that as like; even though there is change in growth that we might want, we don't necessarily just like grab it and take it for ourselves.
But when it's our kid we're just like, 'Oh, we want something different for them…like, we want to change for them, we want to parent in a different way, we want to be different for them.'
And I do think eventually we catch up with that ourselves and work on our relationship with ourselves too. But I think it's such a good motivating change too, to be like, 'Wait a second, I want something different.' And like you said, you have this really unique connection with your kids. Like it's just different than your other relationship.
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah. I also think too, just because I know mom shame comes up a lot; like, at least for me, it's always mom-guilt, mom-shame. If your kids--
I coach this a lot in weight loss, I do want to say this for your listeners. Sometimes our kids-- Like I coach a lot of moms who their food is so emotional for them; it is the only way they've ever known how to get through and cope with life and stuff.
And they get really sad and upset that their kids aren't; like, they'll say, "I must not love my kids as much because I won't do it for them." Or, "Maybe my kids aren't as important as I thought they would because I won't do it for them."
And I just want to tell all of you that's not the job of your kids and there's nothing to be ashamed about if for some reason you don't know how to give up your only coping mechanism in life with food because of your kids; it's survival technique.
And you don't need to feel bad if your children aren't going to tip the scales and, you know, I guess force you into compliance or make you do better or inspire you or whatever.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Corinne Crabtree: It's nice if it happens, but it doesn't do anything-- It's not wrong of you if you are not that person. And I say that because there have been things in my life that I have gone after and stuff, and my child hasn't been-- I never could make that a compelling reason. Like, it just-- Like, I thought I should.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Corinne Crabtree: I thought it should be the most important. And sometimes when I wanted to, just-- There were times in my weight loss where I had lost enough weight where I felt good, I was exercising, there were all these changes that I had made; doing it for Logan wore out. Like, it just didn't matter anymore. I couldn't even use that reason anymore. And I needed to tap into other stuff.
And there was a period where I just wanted to be sexy so bad. Like, I'd always been the big girl and nobody wanted her and the fat friend. I had played that role so much in my life that there was a moment where just being sexy, wearing cute clothes, all that stuff, that became my driving reason. And I went through a period of feeling like that was not a good enough reason; like it should be deeper and stuff.
And I was like, 'No, that's my reason. I don't have to have a reason that anybody else understands.' And I don't even have to tell people what my reasons are, but I just want to free them of this idea that sometimes we're just like--
Especially when we suffer with weight, you know, like our weight and our overeating and stuff, sometimes it runs deep and there's a lot of reasons why we do it. It's a self-preservation thing that we do. It's the only way we know how to relax. It's the only way we know how to care and comfort for ourselves. Don't feel bad if your children aren't like somehow erasing all that.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: That's a huge thing. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think everybody's Why is so unique and individual and different; and like shaming your reason for your why is going to just be another reason to stop.
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Instead of just being like, 'It's okay…whatever my reason is, it's okay.' Because I honestly don't think like, now that I've changed so much of my parenting, and that's what we talk about on here, is I don't necessarily think it is my kids that are as motivating…as it is like, I want to treat myself well in a way that maybe I wasn't nurtured – in the way that I needed when I was growing up.
And so, I want to give that to myself now for no other reason, but that I deserve that and I can give it to myself when I want to.
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah. And it doesn't take away from being a mother. You know, like, where did we learn that if we're not just all sacrificing for our children, if like everything has to be about our kids, that somehow something's wrong with us?
It's like, no, we get to-- if you want to be number one in your life, you get to be number one in your life. Like for me, you can ask anybody; I'm number one, seriously.
I tell people all the time, it's like, "I love my husband, I love my son…but at the end of the day, I am always going to take care of me first because what I have seen in my life, everybody in my life does better when I do for me." When I'm trying to do for others too much, no one's winning as much. So, I just--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: They don't. Long-term, they don't either. We really do it because we think that it'll be better for them, and it never is better for them. And when we can like look backwards and be like, 'Okay, wait a second, maybe if I took care of me first--'
And I think it comes from this idea of, as parents, we do this thing called personalization where we make our kids' behavior means something about us as parents.
And so, we're like…well, if we just do everything, then maybe they'll be like these perfect kids and we'll be this perfect mom; and it'll mean something about our worth or our value. And it never does.
There's never like a level of enoughness that we get to where our brain's like, 'Okay, calm down…everything is good now, you're good.'
You have to like give that to yourself. So, I think we constantly are like give, give, give…instead of separating those two things and being like, wait, what about me? And I don't think it is selfish; I actually think it's the most selfless thing you can do for all your relationships is to care for you first.
How to care for yourself in nourishing ways, which might look different than others
Corinne Crabtree: I have a sentence that I say all the time to my clients that the best thing that we can do for our families is to give them the best of us, not what's left of us.
It's like, and I have gotten caught up in that in my past in doing that. And like, the only way that I can give people the best of me is to always be filtering my decisions and things that I'm doing through like, am I taking care of myself in this moment? Is that what's happening here?
If it's not, I need to like check and say like, why?
And sometimes taking care of you-- This is, I think where the selfishness comes in is we equate to taking care of ourselves to like, I don't know, doing things for ourselves. Like, you know, taking a break or taking a bath and all this other stuff.
Sometimes like, I want to please other people; and for me, that's really important. If one of the things that you love most in the world is knowing that people around you are nurtured…well, yeah, it's going to feel like butt if you go and get like manicures and pedicures – and you are suddenly like spending hours and hours and hours on yourself because you've actually taken away something from yourself that you get a lot of pleasure out of.
You know, people-pleasing; I think moms do this all the time, but it's only people-pleasing when it's at your own expense. But my coach taught me, she's like, "Corinne, there are lots of times you actually want to people-please because you enjoy the pleasing part of it… if you're enjoying it, that's not at your expense."
So, for all of us, it's like, really taking care of yourself is so nuanced. It's not as just-- You know, like you can't just make a list of self-care and check your boxes. I tried to do that for a while and I realized like manicures and pedicures, I'm like, why do I not enjoy this?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.
Corinne Crabtree: Like everybody else says we're supposed to go get them and it's self-care. And it's like, I'm sitting there and I'm just like; this sucks, I wish I was doing something else, I wish somebody just come-- I don't even know why I wear nails…like the whole time.
And it's not because I have a hard time taking care of me. It's like I finally decided I don't enjoy this. So, when I go, I tell them, "You get me-- I'll tip you more if you get me out of here fast."
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Oh, I am exactly the same way.
Corinne Crabtree: I want the fastest probable treatment I can get.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I think that, like you said, and I think that's an important distinction, is people-pleasing is only when you are doing something at the discomfort of you or at your own expense.
So, it's not just trying to make everybody else around you comfortable and happy and whatever, but it's also saying no to you; it's saying yes to others, and saying no to you.
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And so, when I look at self-care, I think, 'Okay, is this a surface desire? Is this just something that might feel good in the moment, or is this something that will actually nourish me?' Because I do think that spending time with my kids and playing games with my kids or going on a walk or whatever, those are things I actually love doing.
Like, I would rather do those things than get my nails done, which is why my nails are never done now. And there's just things that I just don't, they just don't fill my needs as much as others. And it's okay if that does for you, but it's tapping into like; what's underneath this surface desire of self-care, and what actually feels like it would fuel me and like it's my passion and I want to do?
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah. For sure.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Okay, so I think we talked a little bit, because one of my questions for you was going to be how parenting and motherhood kind of started to change for you as you were going through this experience, but I think we kind of hit on that already. But I'd love for you to tell a little bit--
How Corinne Crabtree's life looks like now after making changes
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I don't know how many people listening to this podcast are going to know, or maybe they have never heard of you before. So, tell us a little bit about what life looks like for you now.
Like fast-forward all these years of doing all of these small things that ended up, over time, being big things, and taking care of you in more nourishing ways, what is your life like now?
Corinne Crabtree: Pretty boring.
People are always shocked when they hear how boring my life really is. I get up in the mornings and where I used to be just so-- Like, I would just stay in bed until the last minute. Like, you know, I've always been an early riser; but I would just lay there and just like, ugh, I don't even want the day to start.
And now, I'm just like everybody else. Like, I might dread some stuff, but I'm pretty much up by 5:00 AM every day. Like, I wake up and then the first thing I do is I drink coffee and I journal. So, I'm a big planner.
I like to-- When I think about self-care for me, knowing what my day is ahead of me – like writing about how I can show up…like what's really important today, what do I want to-- Like, at the end of the day, what does success look like for me?
I also plan my food for the day. I like to think about like, what am I going to have today, and why? Like, I look at my calendar, I love-- Because like today's a busy day, I had planned it to know exactly when I could eat something.
To me, that's self-care. I always think about self-care as a lot of different things. I work out almost every day. Some days I'm lifting weight. I love lifting weights. I mean, for somebody who never played sports and was benched in PE, you'd be shocked. I mean--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I was just going to say, I wonder what your PE teacher feels like now listening to you.
Corinne Crabtree: She should feel like crap. She should be like, 'I was wrong about her.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Corinne Crabtree: But I work out almost every day. Some days, I love-- I still love walking, so every day I walk for 15 to 20 minutes, no matter what; even if I have to get on my treadmill and do it. And I walk and I either listen to a podcast or there's an app called Marco Polo that it's like a video app.
Me and my best friend talk every day. She lives in Albuquerque and I live in Nashville. And so, I either listen to hers or I leave her one; and that's my 20 minutes of walking. And then, I lift some weights. Sometimes I run; it just depends on like what's on my schedule. But I plan my workouts for the week, each week on Sundays.
Then I eat some breakfast, get ready for my day, and I work. And then, literally, from about 5:00 PM until 8:00 PM, I am binge watching some kind of TV. I don't do anything.
Like, my son is now 20, he can take care of himself. When he wants to talk to me, he knows come to that bedroom, I'll pause my shows and we will talk. But that's pretty much my life.
We own a restaurant now. So, a couple nights a week, we go to the restaurant; we talk to the staff, we kind of see what all is going on, we teach and guide them on things that they need to be doing – but that's about it. I mean, I wouldn't say--
I hate to say I'm regimented because I don't want people to think like I'm some kind of like strict rule follower. But when I think about like self-care in my life, I have figured out the rules Corinne wants to live by.
You know, especially in the weight loss industry, there are lots of self-imposed rules; like they give you the rules and you're just supposed to live them whether you like them or not.
I have spent, ever since that day on the couch, refining, redefining, tweaking and whatever, all the rules I like to live by that make me feel good, that keep me--
You know, I don't like to think about like staying on a track. I like to think like I have a wide lane and, you know, sometimes you're weaving in and out. I just like to have good bumpers so that if I'm about to go off the rails, like I've got my rules that kind of say like, "Hey, are you sure you want to crash through the guardrails?"
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Mm-Hmm.
Corinne Crabtree: "Pay attention right now." So, I just have set up like things like that. So, pretty much, movement every day. Even if I'm taking a day off, you'll probably see me like that's the day that I'm going for a walk, like a nice long slow one listening to a podcast, something I just want to enjoy.
And then there's sometimes if I don't want to go for a walk, I'll do like 20 minutes of stretching. Like I'll just kind of sit, listen to some good jams, stretch, roll around in the floor a little bit. So, like, taking care of my body is really important to me. And then just water, sleep. Like, I'm big on sleep. I get at least eight hours a night. I know me; anything less than eight, I'm not as fresh. Like I really--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah, me too. Eight is like my minimum, that's like my minimum baseline. I'm like, if I can get more than eight, great.
But I love that like now, because looking back – you know, at past You – your past, you would probably be like, 'There's no way I could get there to a space where I'm like, waking up early and I'm exercising every day and like whatever those things are.' But all of those tiny little moments, over time, makes such a big difference.
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah. They created this version of me. I tell people all the time; when you first start, you're going to be like me…every success story on Day 1, does not believe that they're going to be successful. There's a part of them that just thinks, 'No, this can't happen…this is like crazy talk, whatever.' You evolve into that person.
So, I just really thought about who I might want to be one day. And like the version of me that I thought I would need to be to lose a hundred pounds was very different. Like, I just didn't think that she could eat the foods that she loved.
Like when I first started, I was like, 'The only way I'm going to be able to lose weight right now is to be able to eat the foods I love.'
But there was like this whisper in the back of my mind, 'But you're going to probably have to give all that up one day.' Just, but not today…let's just get started today.
I've never given up all the foods I love; hell, I had tater tots last night. I just don't eat all the tater tots anymore. You know, like we went out to our restaurant, I came home and I had a salad. Like I pre-made salad that I enjoy.
I was like, I'm having some tots tonight. So, my husband and I shared a small order and I just ate a few. And I was like, I'm good. That's probably the version of me I didn't ever think I would be.
I always thought like for a long time, in order for me to lose weight, I'd have to be the kind of person who's just like, 'Well, the healthy version of you who's lost weight probably never eats a tater tot…she's over here just, you know, eating carrots with her salad.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: All day. Yeah.
Corinne Crabtree: I've learned that there's-- who I thought I had to be was wrong, I just needed to get started. That's all I really needed, and then it evolved into this.
How Corinne Crabtree's business life has changed
Crystal The Parenting Coach: In your business life, do you feel like the same was true where you were at a point where you didn't necessarily believe in yourself or believe that it was possible to make such big changes or create--?
Corinne Crabtree: Oh yeah. Like when I first started, I just wanted to be able to help a few people. I just thought like, if I could get-- My first offer was, I will talk to you every day in email, personally coach you, send you workouts. Like this was, I was a personal trainer then, and I didn't want to go to a gym because I didn't think anybody want to train with somebody with loose skin and stuff. And so, 20 bucks for like all of it. I probably spent hours with every single person a month, you know, just all day.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Oh, my goodness.
Corinne Crabtree: -as much as they wanted to talk. I had no clue that this is what I would-- like I would build a business and I would have 20-something employees, I would retire my husband, I would be in the E 5000. Like, none of that was on the radar on Day 1.
Day 1 was like, "I'm going to ask somebody, if they want to pay me $20 to talk to them about how to lose weight." That was my big thing. So, you just never know. Like, that's the big thing. Surprise yourself. Allow yourself to-- Allow yourself to be wrong.
If you have lots of doubts or you can't picture the future, just allow yourself to be wrong about things, and allow yourself to surprise yourself about what can happen.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. I love that because I think a lot of times, too, we're like, 'Well, where do we even start?' And like, 'I don't know what to do'…or, 'I don't know how to get a business set up or whatever'. So, I love that it's like, it's okay to not believe in yourself and to not know the end and to not know your how…and just to like, you know, charge $20 for a month's worth of work.
Corinne Crabtree: You need to know what you're supposed to do today; like, that's what I tell people. It's like when they get all lost in like, how am I going to make-- Let's say you want to make a hundred thousand, it's like you don't need to know how to make a hundred thousand, but you need to know what you-- you need to know how you're going to go get somebody today. Like that's the level of how that we need.
Like, when you're in the early entrepreneurship land, it's all about thinking about day-to-day things like; how can I make sure that I talk to people today? How can I set up my social today? How can I create another post? Like it's the--
Like you're doing the same thing that I did with weight loss; it's all about these small things…and then over time, your entrepreneurial system starts building.
There are-- Like, I teach frameworks. I mean, like, I have things that I teach to make it easier. Like, do this first, do this second, la la la. But if somebody comes in and they want to do it all over the place, the main thing is; are you doing something?
The reason why most people never succeed is they're waiting for motivation, they're waiting for the perfect day – the perfect time, the perfect attitude. They're scheduled to clear their kids to not be in school or no…oh wait, now they're out of school and I can't do it.
Like, there's just always like something. It's like when you're taking action, you'll get there. When you're sitting around waiting for perfect conditions, you'll never get there.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And it is like too much of perfectionism of like, 'Well, I want it to be beautiful and amazing and perfect.' It really is the same as weight loss.
And I found that all of the same principles in parenting and in changing my parenting journey have been exactly the same in my business journey. It's like all the same things like personalization; I make my results mean something about me now.
Like my business results or my podcast downloads or all the things, like we do all the same-- We have the same brain patterns, and we just take them through every different area of our life. So, all of the things--
Corinne Crabtree: If everybody would just spend a few days not making crap personal, like just pay attention. For everyone, how often are you taking your kids' accomplishments or lack of accomplishments…what your partners are saying to you, what your business results are, what you weigh?
Like all of these things, at the end of the day, when we're not successful is because we're taking in all this input; and we're saying, "And that means I am--"
Whatever your I am statement after that is, will be the indicator of either how gross your life is feeling, how hard it's feeling – or if you're not making it mean anything, it's like, 'I am capable', 'I can handle this', whatever. Like, look for your I am statement because when we take things personally all the time, it's really hard to get what we want out of life.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. And I think that advice is true for everything; parenting, business, weight loss, all the things.
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Like it's separating like me, my value, my worth, my capability, my confidence from anything else that happens around me.
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah.
Parenting a neurodivergent child and how to set healthy boundaries
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Okay. I have one last question for you. A lot of the people that listen to this podcast, we talk all about; kind of new ways of parenting, and parenting in a more conscious and connection-based way.
And a lot of people who come to this come to this because their kids are more challenging than others; and a lot of them are neurodivergent, have some sort of diagnosis or might maybe just more sensitive than other kids. And I know that that's also your situation.
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, I want to know how that kind of impacted all of this growth that you're talking about and your, like, the changes that you made. How did parenting a neurodivergent kid come into play there?
Corinne Crabtree: Well, so when I lost weight, I didn't know Logan had autism, and he wasn't diagnosed until he was five. And I had lost my weight by the time he was about two-and-a-half, three years old.
I've always told myself, the reason why I probably got my crap together so soon was because I was going to need it, because he was challenging. When he got diagnosed, he never had-- like, he could say the words, he couldn't communicate the words.
Like he could tell you numbers and he could tell you words, but he couldn't have a conversation. He never-- It wasn't until he was about eight or nine years old before he could tell me what he would want to eat. He just always ate whatever we gave him because he never could make a decision. He couldn't tell a story, those kinds of things; and that was really hard for me.
I was very-- I've always been very talkative, very conversational; and raising him, like, I had to learn how to not be so hard on myself because I took so much guilt, so much responsibility like, 'I've done this to him.' Or if he wasn't progressing, it was always like--
We talk about I am statements. It was like, 'Well, if I was a better mother, he'd be further along.'
And there was a lot of times too, I didn't want to be around him. Like, I had to work with my coach. This was after-- This was in his teen years. It was really hard for me because once he got language, it didn't stop. No off button for him sometimes.
And during his teen years, it was the toughest because now we were having to teach him like pace of conversation, how to know when someone's checking out…you know, just the nuances, he just never picked that up naturally.
And I used to beat myself up because I'd have a long day and he'd want to talk to me, and I would just not want to be with him. And I got coached several times. And the most powerful thing my coach ever said to me, and I've been with her for four years and this is the one thing that every penny I've ever paid her was worth it.
She said, " Corinne, where did you learn that when you're sitting there and you don't want to hear it, but you are listening that that's not mothering? Where did you learn that that's being a bad mother?"
And so, from that moment on, it just freed me to think like…every moment, I get to be human too, I don't have to love everything my child does every second, I don't have to feel bad about that; like, all of it is mothering.
You know, I just-- I had this idea that the only parts of mothering that mattered were the highlight reels or the moments where you're-- Like when you were talking about how you loved playing with your kids, I never loved that stuff. Never. Like that was not in my DNA.
My mothering style is to take care of things. Like the way I express love is to make sure…like I built a legacy to make sure, he would, long after I've gone, that that child would never end up like in some kind the streets or whatever because I didn't know if he'd be able to work or not. I had no clue.
And so, I started like redefining what's mothering to me. And I think for me that's been probably the best work of my life. People know me for building a business and losing a lot of weight; they don't really see the part that really mattered.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: That is actually why I wanted you on this podcast. When I heard you talk about your son and I first met you at The LCS Mastermind, I just thought, that's the real story. Like the real story is you and your mothering and how you've changed.
And I think what you said is so beautiful because we do think parenting means like perfect. Like it means it's the times when I'm not yelling, it's the time when I'm calm, when I'm connected, when I'm looking at them in the eyes.
The only reason I said play is because I make them play the board games that I like with me. Play only means you do what it is that I want to do or, you know, go on a hike or whatever. But we find ways to, to do things together. It doesn't have to be only doing things that in my mind look like a perfect parent.
And I think it allows them the space to understand our humanity and see our mistakes. And it gives them the validation that they're okay too; that it's okay for them to be human, and for them not to just be happy and calm and excited and connected all the time. It's like everybody can just breathe a sigh of relief; and like, it's just okay to be us here. Like this is a safe space for that.
Corinne Crabtree: After, you know, my coach talked about that, I started having just honest conversations about Logan or with Logan. Like he would come and I would just say, "I'm really tired; I can't give you the best of me right now, I just need some time, I'll come get you when I'm ready to talk."
Like, I just-- It was so freeing, and I think it's been good for him. Like when I think about all the times I was trying to pretend and trying to be perfect, I really never taught him like what it is to really be human, and to be honest and to speak for your needs and to say the things that you need.
Because now, the little devil, he'll come up and like he'll tell me like, "I really need to talk to you, tell me today when we can talk because I've got something interesting and like--" You know, and he comes--
Now he comes to me to speak for his needs where he may never have learned that had I not done it. If I had just always been doing that, I don't think he ever would've known how to have that push and pull in a relationship where we work together in a relationship.
It's not just single-sided, which is so easy for him with the way that his style is. He has to learn to read the room, and he has to think about the room. Whereas for me it just comes naturally. I can tell when somebody don't want to talk to me no more. I'm just like, 'Alright, nice seeing you, bye.' You know?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Yeah. And I talk so much on this podcast about the way that we really teach our kids is by our being; like who we are and how we show up.
And so, you are showing up for your needs, and you are showing up for your own humanity and mistakes and all of the things that comes with being human gives him an opportunity to do that too.
And I think that's like the most beautiful-- The most beautiful thing we can give our kids is to like drop this idea of perfection and just be like, 'It's just good enough.' And sometimes good enough looks like 0%, and sometimes it looks like 100, and sometimes it looks somewhere in between; and that's all just part of being human.
Corinne Crabtree: Exactly.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Okay. Thank you. This was-- This was so good. This was exactly the conversation that I wanted to have and bring my audience.
And thank you for taking time to share your story, and being so open and vulnerable with this experience because as we know, it is a struggle. It is a challenge to parent kids that are a little bit different than maybe we thought they were going to be, and think differently-- But also, like the most beautiful and expansive gift too. So, thank you. Thank you for coming on.
How to connect with Corinne Crabtree
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And before we head off, will you just tell people how they can connect with you?
Corinne Crabtree: Yeah. If you're interested in any help in weight loss, you can go to NoBSWeightloss.com and you can sign up for my free course. And if you're interested in business and entrepreneurship, you can go to NoBSBusinessWomen.com, and you can see what we're doing over there. So, we do a lot of amazing things in the No BS worlds so we would love to have you.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. And I'll have all this linked in the show notes. She has a great Instagram and podcast also that you can start with too, and I'll have all the links below. Thank you.
Corinne Crabtree: Thank you.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Thanks for listening. If you'd like to help spread this work to the world, share this episode on social media and tag me – send it to a friend, or leave a quick rating and review below so more people can find me. If you'd like more guidance on your own parenting journey, reach out.
