S08|02 - Intuitive Goals Masterclass + Future-Self Audio Meditation

Jan 22, 2024

If you're anything like me... you LOVE to achieve. Get gold stars and straight A's. Write down long and difficult to-do lists and feel a little jolt of satisfaction every time you cross another thing off that list. The problem with this is that we feel SUPER good when we achieve but really bad if we don’t. I would set myself some wildly impossible goals, and only allow myself to celebrate (aka feel good about myself) once I got there, but not until then. This wasn't happening consciously for me- but in the background of my brain. 

I was tying my SELF-WORTH to PRODUCTIVITY. Allowing myself love, support, and connection (from me) only IF I did "good" (worked towards my goal in the way I had previously decided). There wasn't much room for flexibility- just commitment, determination, and self-control... which looked a lot like "perfection" (and felt kind of terrible too). 

I was completely shocked when I started learning about things like FEMININE ENERGY, and INTUITION... and that resting, playing, and spending more time in my most important relationships helped me create my goals without the headache (and less time). Join me in this important mini-masterclass and meditation. I hope it brings you some hope and healing- and if you love it- join us in The Creation Room.

Check out the CREATION ROOM HERE: create and achieve intuitive goals through learning more about feminine flow, self-trust, rest and leaning into manifestation and joy. 

--

Coaching has changed my own life, and the lives of my clients. More connection, more healing, more harmony, and peace in our most important relationships. It increases confidence in any parenting challenges and helps you be the guide to teach your children the family values that are important to you- in clear ways. If you feel called to integrate this work in a deeper way and become a parenting expert, that’s what I’m here for. 

NEW TRAVEL BLOG: HERE
Download the feelings wheel HERE
Get the BOOK HERE: www.coachcrystal.ca/shop
Join the next round of PARENT SCHOOL (waitlist): www.coachcrystal.ca/group
Find Your Parenting Personality: Quiz Here
IG: @the.parenting.coach

 

 

Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hi, I'm Crystal The Parenting Coach. Parenting is the thing that some of us just expected to know how to do. It's not like other areas of your life where you go to school and get taught, get on the job training, or have mentors to help you, but now you can get that help here.

I believe that your relationship with your children is one of the most important aspects of your life, and the best way that you can make a positive impact on the world and on the future. I've made parental relationships my life study; and I use life coaching tools, emotional wellness tools, and connection-based parenting to build amazing relationships between parents and their children.

If you want an even better relationship with your child, this podcast will help you. Take my Parenting Quiz, the link is in the show notes. Once we know what your parenting style is, we will send some tips tailored to you and a roadmap to help you get the most out of my podcast. 

 

Hello and welcome to today's podcast episode – Episode 2, the Intuitive Goals Masterclass + Future-Self Audio Meditation

Funny story about this. I had thought for a while that I wanted to do something about the future self and I wasn't quite sure what it is that I wanted to offer; and somebody messaged me because I always ask for ideas on the podcast and someone was like, 'Hey, I've been really thinking it would be nice for you to do another audio meditation…do you mind doing one, like a future self audio meditation?' 

And I was like, 'That's exactly what I've been thinking of too.' So, perfect timing. This is for you, Amy; I hope you love it.

So, the last half of this podcast recording is going to be a future self meditation, but before I get into that, it will be another audio meditation – like I did at the end of the last season. If you haven't checked that one out, go check that out

Before I dig into that, I wanted to give you guys the intuitive goals Masterclass. This is going to be like a mini Coles Notes version. If you're like, I have no idea what you're talking about, then you probably didn't see on social media or email that I was doing a masterclass. 

You should definitely get on my email list so you know when these are happening next time. If you go into the show notes and scroll down, there's lots of different links there and you can find out your parenting personality and do a quiz there…and it'll ask for your email at the end of it. And if you want to be on my list, you can join that way. 

You can also download the Feelings Wheel that will also ask for your email. You will get it in your email, and then you can join my email list there. 

So, I did a Intuitive Goals Masterclass, and I'm going to give you the shortened version of that – in case you missed it or if you didn't miss it and you just want to refresher because you were like, 'That was a great class and I really loved what you said there, and I would love to hear more about it,' that is what today's episode is going to be all about…because in January everybody's talking about goals. Did you notice that? It's like all over the place, right? 

And do you ever feel like sometimes you're really inspired by other people's goals, and you're like, 'Oh, way to go, that's so awesome,' and you feel really good about it? But then other times you're just like, 'Wow, good for them, I guess…but why do they get to do stuff and I don't get to and my goals never work?' 

And you feel kind of terrible and you kind of hate their goals – and them – for like a second, right? You probably feel me on that one. I have definitely felt that lots of times, the ups and downs of goals for me and for other people. 

And the difference between those two situations is my thoughts and feelings. It's how I'm feeling about myself. It's the validation that I'm looking for within a goal or not. And we're going to talk about that in our little mini masterclass today. 

 

But that's kind of what got me started on thinking about this is like, why do some people really hate goals? Why do some people love goals? Why does it work and then sometimes not work? 

And I really felt like I would go through this rollercoaster of feeling really excited about my goals and then also the really huge lows of feeling discouraged…like, I wasn't ever going to achieve them. 

And so, this Goals Masterclass came to be from the experiences that I've had over the last few years – learning more about intuition…learning more about feminine energy, which we're going to talk about today. 

And using these new principles to set goals in a totally different way to align myself in a totally different way, and to be able to achieve things without the strict timelines and schedules…without the intense hard work, and without so much worry and discouragement and frustration.

 

Intuitive Goals

So, a little bit about my story is that a few years ago I definitely set-- I love setting goals. I was such a huge like overachiever; I always wanted to get straight A's and do really well. And I really cared about productivity. 

I didn't realize that the reason that I cared about productivity and achievement was because I was actually looking for external validation. And what that means is if I achieved – if I got the straight A or the gold star or achieved the goal that I wanted to – then I could finally feel good enough about who I was…that it was like waiting for my enoughness, or once I had accomplished the thing that I wanted to accomplish. 

There's lots of problems with this, but one problem is that our brain never actually gets to the point where it's like, 'Okay, whew, you can finally relax. You're good, you're finally enough,' even when we have achieved that goal.

 

(a) Determine what is driving your goal

So, if what's driving our goal is this need for external validation, then we're not actually going to get what we think we're going to get or feel the way we think we're going to feel once we have achieved the goal. 

So, the first step is kind of parsing out, what is driving this goal in the first place? Why do I think I need to have this goal? Especially if you're trying to get your goal in a hurry. Those are the best questions to ask myself if I'm feeling like there's a pressure or timeline or I have to achieve it…then, what's kind of the driving force behind that? 

And I ask myself questions, what do I think I'm going to feel once I've achieved it? What do I feel like I'll be able to believe about myself once I've achieved that goal? Is there any sort of attachment that I have about myself, my enoughness, my self-worth, and achieving this goal? 

 

(b) Fear of failure may stop us from achieving our goal 

The other issue we can get into with goals is sometimes we fear that we're going to fail so we don't even start, and that's also connected to that shame. It's already like, 'Ugh, everybody else can do this, but I can't. I don't want to fail. I don't want to feel terrible when I do fail.' 

Because we're so used to failure, meaning shame. 

'I don't want to feel that shame when I do fail, so I'm just going to quit while I'm ahead and feel bad now and not even try for the goal.' 

 

(c) Goals can be overwhelming

Another thing we do is get really overwhelmed by our goals. We're like, 'There's so many goals…there's so many things I want to do, so I'm just not even going to think about it.' Or we take on somebody else's goal. Like not that consciously somebody came and said, "This should be your goal," but we have all of this programming of what success looks like, right? 

We're like a successful person is skinny and they're healthy and they're strong and maybe they do CrossFit or something…they probably run some marathons, they're have a really clean house, they're super organized. 

We have this idea in our mind; they're really wealthy, they have successful businesses and side gigs. These are all the things that a successful person is and does, and that's what we try to put our goals around. We're like whatever we feel like our goals should be. 

And whenever there's a should around it, there's always shame. It's like, 'This is what somebody else has kind of decided success is, so I'm going to take that on myself.' 

So, a lot of times, if we don't feel the motivation or determination for that goal or we feel overwhelmed by our goal or we're even afraid that we're going to fail at that goal, or we start the goal and then we feel bad afterwards because we feel like it's not working, it's somehow connected to this idea of external validation. 

So, what am I going to be able to believe and feel about myself in the future once I have achieved this goal? And is there some sort of a connection there between my worth, my enoughness, and what I'm achieving? And if there is, that's what we want to separate.

 

My backstory: How I got started with Intuitive Goals 

So, I like you did this as well. My first coaching certification was through a program called The Life Coach School. I had a degree in Psychology, and I was looking for a master's program to take – hadn't been back to school or working in years…like, well over a decade. 

And I fell-- found The Life Coach School and fell in love with it, took that certification…immediately was thrown into this giant world of entrepreneurship that I'd never been in before, learning all these things from people that were very masculine energy. 

And masculine energy doesn't mean male-female, we'll talk about it in a minute. But masculine energy is very structured, very logical, very numbers-driven, very goal-oriented, very action-based

And so, I was thrown into that world where I was just constantly thrown these like; this should be your goal and here's how you set it and this is what you do and this is like a prescription for you

And sometimes it felt exciting and hopeful, and like, 'Wow, this is really working.' But other times it felt really discouraging, like I would be on this rollercoaster of the ups and downs of this goals. 

And over time, I started to kind of hate it and resent it. I loved the coaching part. When I was coaching my clients, I was like, 'This is awesome, I want to do this forever.' 

But the actual marketing and running of my business, I really didn't love so much – sometimes I did, sometimes not so much. So, I'm like learning and growing and changing and evolving like we all are.

 

How hiring an Intuitive Coach helped me achieve my goals and increase my revenue

And I hired an Intuitive Business Coach, I think this is in 2021. And she asked me, 'Do you know about masculine-feminine energy?' 

And I was like, 'No, I have no idea what you're talking about.' 

So, she taught me all about this – and taught me how to tap into my intuition as then I'm learning how to listen more to me, which is what intuition is; it's the inner wisdom that we all have, that divine connection that we have to some greater source than us

As I was tapping into that intuition, I started realizing that my intuition would always say the same things. It would say, "Rest more, spend more time outside, play more, spend more time with your kids and in your relationships." 

And it would just say that on repeat, over and over and over again. And at the time I was thinking, 'I cannot believe I hired this Business Coach, who was not cheap, to tell me to work less.' Not that she was telling me to work less, but she was helping me speak to my intuition; and that's what my intuition kept saying. 

But the more that I leaned into that and the more that I allowed myself just rest and play, it was so uncomfortable at first. But I really started to love it and enjoy it, and my relationships really started to change. 

Well, in the beginning of 2022, I decided to make a totally different goal in the beginning of the year. Intuitively, I really wanted to use my intuition to make this goal. 

And every time I was listening to my intuition, it would say, "Do a time goal, not a number goal…you don't need to try to achieve a hundred thousand in a year or whatever it was that everybody else is doing, do a time goal." 

And I really had felt this pull to work less and to be more rested and more regulated within my nervous system. But it's just not a very fancy goal. And it's not really one that entrepreneurs do. 

It's like-- Usually, it's like achieving, reaching, expanding, growing – whatever, you know? And so, I felt really against the grain to do that. But I listened to my intuition and decided to do it anyways. And in March or April, started to really restructure my business, change a lot of things around…spent a lot of time in rest, learn more about meditation, started just digging into some really different things – had a lovely year. 

There was still ups and downs, like there always is. But I was able to achieve my goal of working less. I went from about 20 to 25-hour work week down to 15 hours by June. And I was really solid at that 15 hours by June. And I felt like it could even decrease more. 

So, by September I went down to a 10 to 12-hour work week. By September when I'm working 10 to 12 hours, I'm feeling a lot more regulated, a lot more restful…I'm loving the time I'm spending with my clients, things are going really well, and I had a great year. 

At the beginning of 2023, my husband asked if I knew what my numbers were, which I did not because I wasn't looking at my numbers, I was just flow with the intuition. And he said, "You almost doubled your revenue." 

Now, I'm going to give you my numbers – I don't remember them exactly – but I feel like my first couple of years of business were somewhere around like the 47 to $50,000 a year mark, which is actually really good because I had no business experience background, entrepreneurship, anything. But I actually never felt good about, I never celebrated because I wanted more than that. My goal was to double that. And so, I was just like mad about it the whole time. 

And that's what happens also in this achieving goal syndrome that we get into is that we don't celebrate what's actually happening and what we actually have. So, just wanted to put that out there. 

But the next year, so the end of 2022, the beginning of 2023 – when I was looking at my numbers – I think he said it was like 84 or 87,000 or something. Like it was a significant jump. Not quite double, but like close. 

And I was like, what? How did that even happen? Like, my goal wasn't that. I wasn't focused on growing my business in that way and numbers in that way. And it was just so lovely. It was a lovely experience. 

 

The power of manifestation in intuitive goals

So, in 2023, January, getting coached by the lovely Jamie Berman – in the Money Manifestation Movement, shout out to that. And actually, I think it was before I joined her movement-- I was doing a free masterclass with her, and she was chatting with me about my goals and coaching me. 

And I was just like, 'I really feel like I don't want to set a goal. Like nothing feels fun, nothing feels exciting. I don't-- I just really don't want to set a goal, but I feel like I should, like it feels rebellious not to set a goal.' 

And she was like, 'Well, who said you have to set a goal, and why are you?' And if that's the energy you're feeling around goals, it's not going to be effective.' 

And as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I was like, yeah.

Like anything that I feel like, oh, they say that's what you do, that's always my hint to be like, oh wait, you need to question this

So, I started questioning that and was like, wait, why do I feel like I have to? Who told me this? Why do I need a goal to be successful? All those things. 

Decided not to set a goal and just to focus on manifestation because that's what I'd been getting into that year. 

Loved manifestation for the whole year; manifested some really amazing things without a goal…probably the biggest one being traveling full-time with my family, which is what we're doing right now for the school year, which is something that I've wanted to do since I was a very little girl – was to travel the world with my family, and I finally realized that. 

And I honestly thought that it was going to be years and years in the future, if ever happened. And so, that was a pretty amazing manifestation. Especially because, years ago, when I decided this is something that I wanted to manifest, there was no logical way to get there. 

I could not see the how of how to get there; my husband had just a regular full-time job and I was like running this coaching practice just starting out. Like it just didn't-- Even before coaching, I was like, how is this ever going to happen? I don't even know. 

But I just held onto the hope that one day it would somehow, even if I didn't know how; and it did. And it turned out completely differently than I thought it was going to. So, I love-- I love so many principles about manifestation, but one of the big ones is dropping the how, that I don't know have to-- I don't have to know exactly how it's going to happen. I just have to believe that it's going to, and then just let go of the timelines and let go of the how

So, I also was able to manifest walking across the stage at The Life Coach School of Masterminds to make 100K in a year, I was able to get a little award there. But the whole time I was there, I was thinking, 'This isn't what makes me feel successful…like, this award doesn't make me feel successful, this amount of money doesn't. I feel so much more proud of what I've done in my relationships, that my relationships are so much more regulated and connected.' 

I felt so much more proud of the fact that I only worked 10 to 12 hours a week almost that whole time, minus some of the women's retreats that I run. I felt so proud of the fact that I rested more, that I spent so much more time in play…and I felt the most proud of the fact that I listened to myself, that I listened to my intuition along the way. 

And so, I was back behind stage, and they told us, "We want you to walk across the stage to get your award, and you can meet Brooke – she's the lady that runs The Life Coach Goal – shake her hand and then they're going to give you the mic, and you're going to say like a sentence on something that you can give advice for how you got there for these other people to inspire them."

And immediately the thought dropped in, "Intuition is my only business plan." 

And my second thought was like, I'm not going to say that out loud to this whole group of people, they need something real. They need something motivating, they need something that tells them what to do…like, they need some actions. 

And the third thought after that was like, 'No, intuition really is it.' 

Like, that's all. And I intuitively knew that's what-- no, that's what I'm going to say; I don't even need to think about it.

So, everyone else is kind of chatting back there like, what are you going to say? 

I don't know. 

No, no. 

And I was just like, it just came to me intuitively. So, that's what I'm going to say. 

I walk across the stage and I said that, and there was like an audible like, ah, in the-- It was almost like a sigh of relief and permission, I felt, in the room. There was a lot of people in the room; like a thousand, I don't even know. 

And I had so many people come up to me after that and say, "That was my favorite part of this experience was hearing that." Because I think we're all feeling that pull away from hustle away from busy, away from numbers and data and grow, grow, grow and scale, scale, scale – whether or not you're a coach, this is in like every area of our life. And we're feeling that pull back to simplicity and to stillness and to minimal and to intuition and to flow and to emotion and creation. 

Anyways, so that's a not so short backstory of my story about goals. And this year I don't have a specific goal, but I am focusing again on manifestation. And so, I'm focusing on some pretty amazing thoughts that I am creating that don't yet feel very true, but I am working on believing them. 

I don't know if I'm ready to yet speak them out into the podcast, but maybe one day I will tell you about-- I will tell you about my goals. But one of the-- one of the beliefs that I've been working on is that I have great-- I have amazing relationships with everyone in my family. I love spending time with my children; they love spending time with me, they are healthy and they are regulated and they are amazing children. 

And the more that I believe that, the more I see evidence of that being true. So, that's the amazing thing about manifestation is that as we allow ourselves to be open to these new beliefs and these new realities, whether it's in relationship or wealth or health or whatever, we start to see evidence right away of those things. And that has been true for me. 

So, that's a little bit about kind of my story, my background with goals. I feel like all of this shifted and changed as soon as I started learning about intuition and masculine and feminine energy.

 

Lessons from my Masterclass 

So, intuition, like I said, is just this divine wisdom that we all have innately inside of us

So, when somebody says something and you have that gut reaction of like, 'Yeah, that feels so true…yes, I know and deep in my bones that that's true,' that's intuition. Intuition feels different for all of us. 

But I think, oftentimes, we think it feels so calm and so comfortable and so happy and peaceful and light – but sometimes, it actually feels kind of scary. Sometimes it feels like you're at the top of a rollercoaster and you're about to go down…and you have that like pukey Yes, excited feeling. That can also be intuition. So, intuition can feel like a lot of things. 

The first question that I ask people in my masterclass – and I would love for you to do this also, if you want to – is to write down, what is my past experiences with goals? 

So, this is like a thought dump, like a journaling question. Just write down any answers that come up with you. Just grab a piece of paper and a pen…wherever you are can be scrap paper; and just write down, what has my past relationship with goals been like up until now? What do I think about my ability to achieve goals, specifically? Because is there any enmeshment with like me believing that I can or cannot achieve goals? 

And that also being connected to my worth and my enoughness…that I can finally feel like I'm enough, which our brain does not naturally ever give us even when we achieve the thing. 

So, do that for a minute or two. You can pause, you can come back to this. 

One other thing I want to say about inner wisdom is that we're so tapped out of our own inner source, our own inner wisdom because there's so many experts out there – there's people that are smarter than us, that are older than us, that have a lot more knowledge and a lot more research than us – and we think we should listen to them because they're experts. 

And so, we don't listen to us. We don't take time to listen to us. We tap out of our own inner expertise; and we kind of forget what it feels like in the beginning, and we don't trust ourselves anymore. And we do this because we don't think we're smart enough or we don't think we have answers. Deep down, we just don't think we're enough. 

But then also, if somebody else told us what to do and we followed their advice and we fail, then it's not our fault; it's theirs, and we don't have to deal with the feeling of shame that we hate so much. So, our brain isn't doing all of this consciously; this is like kind of happening just in the background of our brain. 

One of my favorite quotes is I asked myself, "How many times have I denied my innermost wisdom and silenced this voice? How many times can a woman betray her soul before it gives up and ceases calling to her at all?" Sue Monk Kidd, my favorite author. 

And I think, so often, when I heard this quote for the first time I cried because I thought, is she still speaking to me? Is it too late for me? There was some grief and sadness of, how did I let this happen where I didn't take time to tune into myself? 

We are our own best expert. Nobody knows us and our children and our family and our situation like we do. 

 

The other thing that's amazing about following our intuition is that the more we follow our intuition, the more we become us; more comfortable with us, more confident within ourselves. And as we're able to do that, we find our passions, we follow our passions; and we actually end up blessing the world. 

Have you ever seen someone that follows their passion or their desire, and they just like-- they just light up every time they're doing it, every time they're talking about it and they just are such a blessing to everybody else? 

There's so many examples of this in history of people that have just done really amazing things in a short amount of time. I just recently heard that Handel's Messiah was written in a really short amount of time, and I was like, 'Oh, that's incredible.' But it's like when they're in their flow, when they're in their passion, when they're the you-est you that you can be…when that is true for them, then they're able to access so much more flow and creation and intuition. 

So, the next question for you to thought-ponder on journal down – especially journal if you have time – is to write down, what are all the things I feel like I should accomplish? What's a goal that I feel like I should have? What do I feel like I should be doing? Because anytime there are shoulds, there's going to be some shame there, right? 

We've decided that success looks like X, Y, Z. So, then we take these goals that are X, Y, Z and then we feel bad about them when we don't accomplish them or whatever. Because oftentimes, they don't even come from our intuition. They just come from what we feel like we should be doing. 

So, after you look through that list of all of the things you feel like you should be doing, I want you to think of feelings – remember think, feel, do…our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings fuel our actions. So, what feelings come up for you when you look at all of those words, when you look through those thoughts? 

On the Masterclass that I did, the feelings that came up for people were shame, discouragement, pressure, resistance, frustration, overwhelm. Now, if you go back to think, feel, do, I want you to imagine from those feelings, how do you think you're going to show up? What are you going to be doing? 

For me, I looked at like, 'Okay, yeah, this is-- I know this is what I should be doing.' And I would start doing all the things I felt like I should be doing, but they weren't actually aligned because, in my mind, I was thinking 'This isn't going to work' or 'I'm not going to achieve this goal' or 'This is too hard' or whatever. 

But then I was doing all the things that I thought would be in my think, feel, do – but it wasn't actually aligned with that. And for me, that looked like overworking. Sometimes that looks like underworking for people. You get stuck in that; like analysis paralysis, it usually goes one way or the other…you're like overworking or underworking type. 

Neither of them are helpful, by the way. Even if you're like looking at the overworking type and you're like, 'At least, I'm getting something done,' it's really not very effective or productive; I know, because I do that all the time. 

So, once you've looked through your should list and you kind of figure out what those feelings are and you kind of parse out like, well, how would I show up? You can see that's unaligned; your think and feel and do are unaligned so, of course, we're not achieving our goal…because manifestation is really my thoughts create everything in my life. Like things are being created through me and what I believe. 

So, to question those, you can ask yourself, who told you that you needed those goals? Why do you have that as a goal? What do you hope to achieve by it? Other people's love, admiration, acceptance, enoughness? 

 

The next exercise is, what does intuition feel like to you? Take a moment to tap into, what does a yes feel like in my body? In the past when I've had experiences where I really knew something was truth, where I really knew something was a yes…what did that feel like inside my body and soul? And then do the same thing with a no. 

That is your internal compass. How that physically feels in your body, you can use words to describe that; that is how intuition feels like for you. 

Answers come from your body, not from your mind. We think they come from our brain. We think we have to intellectually, logically figure them out – but they actually come from a body space more than a mind space, more than an intellectual space. 

So, when we're not trying so hard to figure out the answer, that's when answers and ideas come.

I came up with the idea for this Masterclass when I was going down a water slide at a waterpark a week ago. And I thought it was so funny that that's how answers drop in. And when I came up with the idea for my women's retreats, which have been so successful and so amazing, that came when I was just on a walk. 

I wasn't even thinking about it. I wasn't like, 'Oh, I should figure out what I should do next,' it just dropped in. So, they come when we're creating, painting, walking, when we're in nature, when we're having fun, when we're playing. 

Regulating your nervous system is key here. And allowing yourself to not have such a huge timeline because if my nervous system is dysregulated and I'm feeling all that pressure, it's not going to flow as easily to me. It's almost like my attachment to that goal, keeps it at arm's length for me all the time.

 

Masculine Energy Vs. Feminine Energy

Okay, masculine and feminine energy. Now, this isn't like male-female; this is masculine and feminine energy, yin-yang – we all have both these energies inside of ourselves. The goal is to create a synergy between both of them, an integration between both of them. 

And in our world, we're very masculine energy dominated; that's how our society has been set up. And so, we're really tuned out of our feminine energy. So, it's just taking time to kind of tune back into that. 

Masculine energy looks like logic, knowledge, structure, timelines, schedules, routines, confidence. It's very linear. Achievement-based, goal-oriented, driven, risk-taking, decisive. It's very active, analyzing, leading, stability, clarity, right? 

If you think of like business promotion, entrepreneurship, that's what everybody thinks is like the good values to have; and those are good values, for sure. But those are like, this is what success means. 

Listen to what feminine energy is; flow, intuitive, creative. And not the creative as in I'm creating a lot of things, but creative as in just letting creativity flow through me. Ease, receiving, unconditional love, emotional play, fun, spirit, circular. So, the learning happens over and over and over again in a deeper way.  Freedom, magnetic – things just attract and pull to me. Open. Compassion. 

Another quote here from Maya Angelou, "A Woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself".

I know when I am not in aligned action, when I look at that think, feel, do, and I can see myself feeling frustrated, feeling stressed, feeling worried, feeling anxious or discouraged or whatever it is about my goal or whatever it is that my focus or my intention is then…and I can tell that I'm in that because I'm usually overworking, and spending a lot of time worrying and thinking about things. 

Aligned action, for me, looks so much more like feminine energy…when I'm believing it's going to happen; I have no idea how, but I know it's going to happen at some point. So, it's okay, I don't have to worry about it. I don't have to even focus on it…it will just happen. 

Then I spend so much more time in that feminine flow of being intuitive, of having emotions just flow through me, of spending time with rest and with play. I just imagine like what if your word of the year or your focus or intention this year was rest or play. 

And you just did a science experiment where you were like…I'm going to learn as much as I can about play and about fun or about rest, and I'm going to try resting in lots of different times-- at lots of different times of the day and I'm going to try lots of different kinds of rest or lots of different kinds of play. And I'm just going to figure out what's like the most playful possible. 

Imagine that was your intention. That's not one of those, like people look at it as like successful type goals because of what we've defined as success, but that sounds way more successful to me. Your nervous system will be so much more regulated, and you'll actually be able to achieve a lot more in a lot less time than you think. 

You might be taking some of the same actions that you thought you were going to take, but it will be with a very different energy as well. So, aligned action, for me, looks always like more rest and more play – no pressure or attachment to achieve my goal. 

 

Guiding questions toward your goals

One of my favorite questions is, what would make this the most fun? It's dropping the how, not knowing exactly how I'm going to get there. And it's focusing on being and feeling, focusing on emotions and processing through emotions. And, who do I want to be? What do I want my life to be like as I'm achieving this goal? Those are the great kinds of questions. 

One of my favorite quotes is, "If desire is born within you, then you already have what it takes". I so believe this to be true. If you have an innate desire, what desire is that? Take a minute or two now, and just write down all the desires you have. 

If there was no logic, if there was no how – if you didn't have to worry about when you were going to get there or there wasn't any pressure – if anything, literally anything was possible in your entire life, what would you write down? 

And keep adding to that list, just keep adding and adding and adding to that list. We get to decide, we can create whatever we want. It doesn't have to be based on what other people feel like we should be creating. It doesn't have to look like--  

We don't even have to call it a goal; it can be an intention…it can be a focus. It can be like, I don't have a goal right now, I'm just living, that's also great. 

So, take some time once you've done those few exercises, review it; and ask yourself this question, what are some lessons from this for me – from myself, from my inner self? 

As I read through all the thoughts that I wrote down after these few prompts, what lessons are there for me – from my thoughts, from deep inside? 

And then write yourself a goal. Decide for yourself, do I want to have a goal? Do I not? Do I want to have an attention? Do I want to have a focus? 

Do I want to have an anti-goal? Like I'm not setting goals all year long and I'm going to see how this year goes. 

Or do I want to have something specific be my goal, but I'm going to do it in a really different way?

 

The Creation Room

Okay, last thing I want to do with you before we pop into our little audio meditation to end is I want to invite you into The Creation Room. It's my latest offer. It's going to be a monthly intention. 

For instance, the first month, this month of January, we're going to be working on creating space. We're going to be doing books. If you don't want to read or listen to the books, I'll be giving you all the little golden nuggets so you won't feel like you missed out at all. 

We're going to be doing coaching over Voxer, which is a walkie-talkie app where we can send text messages and audio and little videos; and we're going to be doing a group room there. We're going to have a monthly meditation that will be sent over on a private podcast. 

And then, every once in a while, I'm going to sprinkle in a little workshop – when I notice something come up in coaching, and I'm like, 'Oh, this would be a really great thing to do,' we're going to work on that. 

The goal is going to be to step into feminine flow, to get really comfortable with the feminine energy…to tap into your intuition and get comfortable with how it feels in your body, and how to follow that for yourself – to become more in tune with who you are, and to separate yourself from that external validation that you seek from other people and from goals like we all do sometimes.

And to also step into what it is that you want to create and how you can create that with a lot more ease, a lot more balance, a lot more fun, and a lot more rest…to achieve, more than just your goal. How do you want life to be as you're achieving your goal? And what is it that you actually do want to achieve deep down? What are those desires, even if they don't make sense to anybody else? If anything was possible, what would that be for you? 

This is $1,000 for the whole year. I would love for you to join us; it's going to be an amazing experience. And use this as a little first step in following your intuition…is that a nudge of yes or a nudge of no for me? Is this like, no, I'm not a-- I'm not in alignment with this right now.

Listen to that and don't feel any regret or any sadness that you didn't join us. But if you do feel that nudge, that yes, then I invite you to join us. 

The last quote I'm going to leave you with before our meditation is "Let your heart lead you, do not be afraid for there will be much to regret if reason and sense and fear are your only markers". That's from the story, The House Girl

 

Meditation

Okay, we're going to get into a meditation to end here. So, get into a comfortable position. We are going to start with our breath. We're going to center ourselves for a minute, and then we're going to go to a little space and get some advice for our future self. And you can come back and listen to this audio meditation as frequently as you want. 

And if it's something that you find useful and helpful for you, I would love for you to share it with others as well. 

Thanks for-- Thanks for being here and listening to this podcast, and being in my space and in my community.

All right, so let's settle in; get into a comfortable position. We're going to do a little body scan from the top of our head down to our feet and just notice…is there any pain, tension, discomfort, emotions that I'm feeling right now – from the top of my head, down my face, down my neck, shoulders, arms, back, chest, stomach, legs, feet? Just notice it. 

And as we get into breath here – breathing in through the nose and exhaling deeply out through the mouth – I invite you to add some breath, send some breath to that area of your body…wherever you felt that tension or pain or emotion. Imagine the breath being a little kiss of love, of light, of relief, relaxation that you're sending to that part of your body. 

As we breathe in through the nose, breathe deeply out through the mouth, exhaling twice as long as that inhale.

I invite you to stay with that breath. Breathing circularly in through the nose. Pause for a moment. Exhale twice as long through the mouth. Pause for a moment, and then go back to the inhale. 

There's nowhere else you need to be. There's nothing you need to remember, nothing you need to do; just be here, present with this moment. 

Maybe you're laying down or sitting, maybe you're in the fetal position, maybe you're moving your body, maybe you're doing a walking meditation…I just invite you to be fully focused and present. 

I invite you to imagine that you're walking along the beach; it's warm out, the sun hits your face…you're feeling relaxed and calm and peaceful as you walk along the shores of the beach with the pebbles and the sand under your feet. 

You notice all of your fears and your worries, any feelings and emotions that you brought to this meditation wash away with the waves. The waves are beside you going in and out. And with each wave, with each breath in your body, that worry, that fear, that heaviness releases. 

You turn off of the beach and down a little path; the path is rocky. There's a few trees, some beautiful wild flowers. You're comfortable and happy and peaceful; and something in you knows that this is exactly where you're supposed to be, in this moment right now. You are where you need to be on this journey of life right now. 

You feel the confidence and the calm and presence of that. As you see a little beach house come into view, you go to the house – cute, small, simple. You open up the door; and as you look inside the house, you see little pictures – pictures of your past. 

Maybe there's a little baby version of you, a toddler, tween, a teenager, a young adult…you see all these images and memories come to your mind – some happy, some sad, some joyful. Not some, not all probably. 

And as you review all of these pictures, you notice a rocking creaking sound in the background. And as you turn in the corner – this tiny little beach house – is a woman sitting on the rocking chair…or a man…your future self; you, but an older version of you, the very end of your life, whenever that is, with a lot more wrinkles, a lot more experience. They're sitting there just so relaxed. 

And not just relaxed physically, but relaxed emotionally because they are able to be themselves. They are fully and innately themselves. They feel comfortable in their own skin, in their own body…with their ideas, their opinions, their thoughts, their life. 

You sit at their feet. Maybe they stroke your hair or your face. You feel so comfortable there because they know everything. They know who you are exactly. They know your thoughts. They know your intentions. They know your desires, your experiences, the joyful and the not so joyful from your childhood and from your life; they know it all. They love you. They see you. They see you for who you are. 

And we sit here in their presence. We can ask them any question that we want. Maybe we ask for advice or guidance. Maybe they give us some, but maybe they just give us a word or a phrase. Maybe they leave us with an intention. 

Maybe they don't say anything at all, and it's just the being in their presence that fills us with the energy that we need…with the acceptance that we seek, with the love and the compassion for ourselves that we deep down desire. 

We sit there in their energy and their presence for as long as we need to. We hug them. We feel at one with them. We feel loved and accepted. We know that we can come back here anytime that we need to, that this knowledge and wisdom and guidance is always inside of us. 

Maybe a silent tear falls down our cheek of gratitude and joy. For this moment that we're in, we turn around…walk out of the door, walk down the rocky little beach path, and back to the shore of the beach. 

And with our breath in through our nose, an extended exhale out through our mouth, we settle into the feelings and the thoughts that we have right now – keeping them dear, keeping them close to us…knowing that we have our greatest wisdom inside of us, always that we're carrying around.

You are deeply loved. You have everything you need inside of you. And stay in this presence and this energy for as long as you need. Whenever you're ready, you can take a few deep breaths and gently open your eyes. We'll see you next time.

 

Thanks for listening. If you'd like to help spread this work to the world, share this episode on social media and tag me – send it to a friend, or leave a quick rating and review below so more people can find me. If you'd like more guidance on your own parenting journey, reach out.

Cover image for the parenting personality quiz, 4 sketches of a mom doing a different activity with her child
Cover image for the parenting personality quiz, 4 sketches of a mom doing a different activity with her child

What's Your Parenting Personality?

Take The Free Quiz