S07|20 - A Guided Audio Meditation for Processing Emotions While Re-parenting

Re-parenting may sound a little wo-woo, but it’s just a simple way of explaining the healing process of uncovering past beliefs that we have that are under-the-surface, and processing through them to create change. Somatic work (in the body) is the most effective process and takes the shortest amount of time to create change than anything else that I’ve tried (and I’ve tried a LOT!). In this special episode I give you the gift of a lovely, guided meditation to help support you on your own re-parenting/healing journey (keep it on hand for those tough holiday stress-days at home with your kids too). This is the LAST episode of season 7, and we’ll be back with more juicy woo-woo parenting goodness January 15th  2024… see you then!! 

On this episode:

• I share my insights after coaching several past clients during my office hours and noticing similar thoughts, feelings and struggles among all of the women
• How somatic work can be much more effective than “logic” work, or trying to “think something new”
• What types of somatic work help (inner child healing, meditation, EFT and more)
• I leave you with a guided meditation that you can come back to again and again to help support your nervous system, processing tough emotions and inner healing (re-parenting) so you can show up more naturally in the way that you want to

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Coaching has changed my own life, and the lives of my clients. More connection, more healing, more harmony, and peace in our most important relationships. It increases confidence in any parenting challenges and helps you be the guide to teach your children the family values that are important to you- in clear ways. If you feel called to integrate this work in a deeper way and become a parenting expert, that’s what I’m here for. 

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Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hi, I'm Crystal The Parenting Coach. Parenting is the thing that some of us just expected to know how to do. It's not like other areas of your life where you go to school and get taught, get on the job training, or have mentors to help you, but now you can get that help here.

I believe that your relationship with your children is one of the most important aspects of your life, and the best way that you can make a positive impact on the world and on the future. I've made parental relationships my life study; and I use life coaching tools, emotional wellness tools, and connection-based parenting to build amazing relationships between parents and their children.

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Hello, sweet podcasting friends. Today's episode is going to be a little bit different, a little bit different; I don't know if I've done one like this before. And I'll tell you kind of how I came up with this idea, but it's going to be a guided meditation; and it's something that you can come back to and listen to over and over and over again. 

You can download it to your phone, and I hope that it's so helpful. I hope it's just a nice little gift, a nice little pre-Christmas gift to yourself that can be really supportive for your emotional health and healing.

How the idea of guided meditation started

So, I'm going to talk a little bit about how this came to be. Currently, we are in Italy. By the time this airs, I won't be in Italy anymore, but we're in Italy. 

And for the week, I decided it would be really fun to meet with any of my past clients that I've worked with in any way. And so, I opened up these office hours, and I've been coaching a lot of women over the last week. I do coach men also, but I didn't have any men sign up this week. 

But it's been so fun; and what's been so interesting is just to see this idea came to me intuitively. And the women that signed up really intuitively felt it also; like for instance, they'd be like, 'I hardly ever get my emails from you in my inbox, and I just happened to open it up right when it came in and the timing worked perfectly for me.' 

Or, 'I was really feeling like I needed something exactly like this, but I didn't know how I could do it or who I should be meeting with, and it just felt exactly like the right thing as soon as I read it.' 

Or, 'The words that you said in that email really resonated with me, and so I loved how everything just connected there.' 

And what was really interesting is that so many of the women that I talked to brought similar things to the call. 

A lot of it was purpose like maybe feeling a little bit directionless or a little bit lost or a little bit like they're not necessarily trusting themselves, or they don't know the way forward or the path forward. And they're in a space where they have been doing healing work, they have been feeling a lot better, things are going better…but they're like, but like, 'What next? What do I do next?'

Inner Child Healing

And one of the most helpful things on my journey has been any amount of Inner Child work. And this means noticing, kind of, the root trigger of what's really bothering me – what's underneath the surface that's really bothering me – and re-parenting myself.

So, allowing myself to comfort me, to listen to my inner deep thoughts that I have about this – those subconscious beliefs that I don't logically maybe believe anymore, but are still there. 

Allowing that Inner Child to really just completely let out any of their thoughts and feelings to me…and just sitting there and listening and being with them and comforting them, and giving them the feeling and the emotion and the comfort and the compassion and the acceptance that they need. 

So, that might feel a little bit like different or a little bit woo-woo to you when you're like, what does that mean? I've done some podcast episodes on Inner Child Healing before that you can go and check out. 

But it really is that; it's giving myself what I needed back then when I was a child, when I was feeling these big emotions. And it's giving myself that grace and that comfort and that acceptance that I need now as well. 

And not just like doing the toxic positivity of like, 'You're fine', or, 'You don't have it as bad as somebody else does'…or just like, 'You're going to be okay, just get over it,' kind of thing. 

But just to really allow myself to open up to my own self, and to just let out whatever my thoughts and whatever my feelings are…and to comfort myself and love, and find compassion and peace in.

Somatic work

So, a lot of that process for me is somatic; and somatic means like in the body. So, I find that a lot of times when I'm doing this kind of work, it's not really logical. 

For instance, I remember ages ago, one of the things that was really triggering me was my kids not listening; one child, specifically, that I felt like never listened to me. And I would say like, over and over and over again, say the same thing and they wouldn't listen. 

And so, I did this work with that where I was like, 'Okay, what about this issue is bothering me so much? Why do I feel so triggered that like, I asked them to do something 17 times and they didn't listen?' 

Whenever I give this story, I always say 17 times; I don't know why, maybe I like the number 17. 

Anyway, so, going back to the story…I was like, 'Okay, what is underneath this?' 

And I dug onto underneath it and was like, 'Well, kids, good kids listen to their parents…and good kids are good kids because they have good parents. Therefore, I must not be a good parent if I have a child who's not listening to me.'

There was also some amount of 'Children should respect their elders', which means like they should just immediately respond in the way that the parent wants them to respond without questioning it. 

Almost in a like higher way than I even expect for myself, which is what I often find my clients doing with their kids too; I think this is common for us. The expectations we have for our kids can often be more emotional intelligence than we actually respond in our own selves. 

So, there was a lot of this like kind of subconscious beliefs under the surface that I was like, 'Wait a second, I don't believe any of that.' 

Like, I don't believe children should be seen and not heard anymore. I don't believe that children should just immediately listen and respond exactly in that moment in the way that I want them to. Like, I want them to be human. I want them to open up to me. I want them to be their own person. 

And as I started to really like, dissect this, I was like, 'Wow, there's a lot of subconscious beliefs there still that I don't logically believe anymore.' So, going back to the purpose of this; somatic work has been more helpful for me. 

So, in that moment, I couldn't like logic my way out of it because I already didn't logically believe it – but there was some part of me underneath the surface subconsciously that still did believe it, and there was no talking that version out. 

So, step one is always uncovering like, what is underneath it? What is the trigger? Let's bring that out. And I can like kind of start to logic it out and be like, 'Wait a second, we don't believe that anymore, I wonder where that came from.' 

Or, 'Why is that there?' 

Or, 'What does that mean for me?' 

Or, 'How does that show up for me?' 

And I can do like a whole kind of thought journaling page on this…maybe several pages on like, 'Do I really believe this? Where is this coming from, and how does this show up in my life still?'  

And that can be really supportive, but I find it so much more supportive than trying to logic my way out of it to get into my body to do something somatic. 

I'm going to give you a few different ideas of what somatically you can do. I've talked about these on past podcast episodes a lot as well. 

What you can somatically do

But some things that have been helpful for me are guided meditation – which we're going to do today – regular meditation; by regular I just mean actually just like silent meditation, just releasing the thoughts from your mind. 

I haven't done EMDR, but I've heard good things about EMDR. I find EFT really helpful; hypnotherapy, which is what I have been certifying in over the last year…and practicing a lot on myself and on my clients, and has been really effective. 

I find yoga movement, even just like dance where it's just like open dance. I went to this one lady; it was a group program that we did where it's really just kind of like dance therapy. I don't even remember what she called it. 

There was some name for it, but you like listen to music and dance; and it's kind of like just releasing and moving in whatever way feels good to you. And I found it so good, so therapeutic, so comforting. So, it's finding any modality that works for you.

This is one of the reasons why I love retreats so much is because you go and you just really intensely do all of this work, exactly what I just described, every day for like three days – like all-day long. 

So, there's going to be some like thought journaling and some logic stuff going on and some deep coaching. There's going to be some untriggering work, but there's also going to be the yoga and the movement and the hypnotherapy and the guided meditation to really help your body and your brain and your whole system really start to integrate and change those beliefs at a deeper, more core way. 

So, I thought it would be really fun to come on here and kind of do that for you, and give you a guided meditation that you could go back to again and again and again when you were feeling stuck and you were feeling heavy.

And I especially thought this would be helpful because this is really similar to what I did with so many of my clients over this last week where I had this open office hours coaching with my past clients. 

So many of them came up with kind of the same issues, and had so many similar thoughts about themselves and about their situation and about their future, and so many similar feelings. And in fact, almost described the feeling like word-for-word the same. Like, it was so fascinating how similar our bodies are, and how similar emotions and our thoughts are as humans. 

And I just love the study of human behavior. I just feel like I really found my thing because this fascinates me…talking to people about it, helping people through it, helping myself through it, asking myself questions, pondering on things, meditating. It's just-- It's just my life's work, and I love it; and it lights me up. 

The Parenting Coach Podcast with Crystal – what you should know

The other reason I wanted to do this is because this is the final episode of season – what are we on – Season 7? I think we're on Season 7. Ah, this is the final episode of this season. 

And I want to say thanks to my amazing production company, Alex @ Astronomic Audio. He's awesome and he always helps me sound really good, and fixes all the mistakes that I make if I want him to. And I'm just grateful for this podcast. I'm so grateful for you all being here. I'm grateful for this opportunity. I've met the most amazing people and I've had the most amazing interviews. 

And I would love a couple of things from you before we get into the meditation. One is, I would love to know what you would-- What would be most supportive for you or you'd be most interested in or would be most exciting for you to hear about on next Season's podcast?

Maybe there's some really amazing guests that you'd be like, 'Oh, I'd love for you to talk to this person,' and I will try my best to get them on. Or if there's just some sort of a topic that would be really supportive for you, I will definitely dig into that topic and do that on the podcast. 

So, if you could email me at [email protected], that would be the most direct way. Or you can DM me on Instagram. Those are definitely the best two ways to get in touch with me right now. I would love to have more of that information as I go into the next podcast and start recording those episodes for you. 

We will have a three-week break and then we will land back in podcast land again with a fresh new season. And so, I'm excited to hear some of your feedback.

The second thing I want to mention is it is super helpful and super supportive for me if you take just like seriously two seconds to rate or review or subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast; so, you can do that on Spotify or Apple or whatever. 

There's always a way to either leave a review on like something that you really loved, some episode that really hit you, what you enjoy about the podcast that might help other people – or to even just leave like a rating or whatever you can do that helps the algorithm get it out to more people. 

And I cannot tell you how many people have sent me messages to say, "Just listening to your podcast has helped me change my relationship with my son or with my daughter," or "Just listening to your podcast has helped change how I feel about myself or my relationship with people around me."

And I just really want to spread the word; I want to get it out to more people so that they can be feeling that also. And 9 times out of 10 when a new client comes and I'm like, "Where did you find me?"…They're like, "I've been listening to your podcast for ages, I don't even know where I found you." So, please spread that word; get it out there.

Public Speaking Engagements with Coach Crystal Noelle

I'll also say I would love to start doing more public speaking engagements. I've been doing that at some schools, some parent councils, some church programs. I've even done it in some corporations where I talk about emotional intelligence, nervous system regulation, mindset, things like that to corporations. 

So, if this is you and if you're like, 'Oh, I would love to have you come teach at my school, my community, my program, wherever that is, I would love to do that also.'

And I will be back on the North American continent in the spring. And if it's on a different continent, let me know because maybe I'll be there also, before the spring because we are traveling around. 

If you missed it, my travel blog is live www.coachcrystal.ca/travel; and you can hear all about our grand adventures. 

A Guided Audio Meditation

Okay, so we are going to get into the meditation. A lot of times when I meditate, I love to put some music – some soft music on in the background to kind of meditate with. So, you can always have that kind of going in the background also. 

But for this one, I'm just going to do a completely no music; it's just going to be the sound of my voice and breath. So, to start out, I would just offer to get in a comfortable position. You can either be seated, you can be laying down…you can be kind of half-sited, half laying down – whatever feels comfortable for you. 

You can also do some different holds that feel really comfortable. And so, some ones that are really good for your nervous system are putting both hands right on your heart – right on your chest space – or also just one hand on your heart and then one hand down, just right below your stomach…kind of by your womb space there, you can hold there. 

Another one is hand on your chest. So, in the same space that you're in right now, hand on your heart and then one hand over top of your forehead. 

And the last one is just a hand underneath your arm and over top of your arm with the other hand. So, kind of like giving yourself like a hug or a squeeze. 

So, you can try those, see if any of that feels comfortable. But really use this as an opportunity to listen to your body and do what feels most comfortable for you. 

And whenever you are ready and in position, I would invite you to gently close your eyes and just relax into this space. Relax into the sound of my voice, relax into your breath. Relax into the feeling of your body in this space, in this room, in the world, and the universe. 

I invite you to become really mindful of how your body feels in the position that it's in right now. Does it feel heavy? Does it feel supported? How does it feel against the floor or the chair? Or how do your feet feel against the ground? Maybe you can feel the support feeling of being held by the earth. 

I invite you to be mindful of just tiny little feelings that you can feel right now; maybe there's a little bit of wind on your face, maybe you can feel the tiny little hairs on your skin. How does it feel to have the clothes on your skin, or the hair against your face or against your body? 

I invite you to focus in on your breath. How does it feel to breathe? What does it feel like? What does that breathing sensation feel like? And through your nose and out through your mouth. As you focus on your breath, notice how the air feels coming in through your nose…how it feels in your mouth, how it feels on the exhale. 

You feel it in your throat, your chest, your stomach. Maybe you can feel tiny little sensations of your breath above your upper lip, under your nose, maybe on your chin.

I invite you to extend that breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. Extend that inhale really deeply. Imagine that you're taking a deep belly breath right from as low as deep in your belly as you can…breathing all the way up to your diaphragm as high as you can go – holding it for just a moment, and then slowly, deeply exhaling. 

As you slowly, deeply exhale…I want you to extend that exhale for about twice as long as the inhale. Just continue that breath pattern deeply in through the nose, from your stomach – up to your diaphragm, up to your head. Hold it for just a moment, and then an exhale twice as long through the mouth. 

If you're in a space where it's comfortable for you, I would invite you to add sound on that exhale; this can be a sigh, a yell, a groan. Whatever feels comfortable, whatever feels like it wants to be let out in through the nose – deep, loud, exhale through the mouth. 

Three more breaths at your own pace in through the nose. Hold for a moment in a deep, loud exhale. 

Two more breaths in through the nose. Hold for a moment in a double exhale through the mouth. 

One last time; in through the nose, hold for as long as it feels comfortable. And then a slow, deep exhale. 

I invite you to go back to a regular breathing pattern, and I want you to think about a time in which you felt triggered. A trigger is a strong emotional charge in your body; it doesn't have to be huge. It can be something small even. 

But when you felt that emotional activation in your body, I invite you to go back to that memory. I invite you to bring up who is there around you, what room are you in, what does it look like there? Can you remember what you're wearing? Are you sitting or standing? What is your hair like? Who else is there with you? 

Just remember the tiny little details so that you can amplify that memory and bring it up as vividly as you can. 

And as you're in that memory, I invite you to focus on the feeling in your body. It feels too strong. Just go back to that breathing pattern we did at the beginning; you can rewind and start this again. 

You don't have to go all the way through the meditation, but if it feels available to you, I invite you to focus on the feeling in your body…allowing it, accepting it, opening up to it. 

As you do so, allow the memory to slowly fade away. Maybe it slides up over your forehead, over the top of your skull, down the base of your neck, and slowly floats off your shoulders.

As you focus on this emotion – this energy that's in your body – the memory has now faded away, and you are just here with the emotion in your body. 

I invite you to go to where you feel it the most strong. Is it in your head, your chest, your stomach, your shoulders? Go there. 

I invite you to describe to yourself how it feels. Does it have a shape, like a shield or a shawl? Maybe it's goopy and sticky, or maybe it feels like lava. Describe it to yourself as you allow it to be there, as you welcome its presence in your body. 

I invite you to think of its color. Don't think too hard about it, but if it had a color, what color would it be? 

What about its texture? Is it soft, smooth, bumpy, sharp? 

It's temperature? Is it hot or cold? It feels like it doesn't have a temperature. Is it heavy or light? 

I invite you to continue to allow it, allow its presence. Continue to notice it. As you notice it, maybe it stays in the same spot with the same feeling, but maybe it spreads or changes or moves positions. I invite you to move with it, if it wants to move. If it stays, allow it to stay. 

I'm going to do the same thing again. Go to wherever you feel it in your body the most strong. Maybe it's in a new space or the same. What shape is it? Is it moving or still? Heavy or light? Fast or slow? What's the texture or the shape? 

Allow it. Welcome it. Feel it. As you do, maybe you notice that it changes color or texture or intensity or shape…maybe it moves to a different part of your body, go there. 

I'm going to do this one more time. Where do you feel it in your body, the most strong? Go to that space. Describe it to yourself like you're describing a feeling to someone who's never felt a feeling before – color, texture, temperature, intensity. 

As you allow it this time, notice that it starts to shift – starts to break up a little bit like it's evaporating up into the air. The intensity lessens if it hasn't already, and allow it to lessen and lessen. Allow it to float up to the sky...float away with the clouds, to go up through your head and out the very top of your head, or to seep down through your feet into the ground.

I invite you to imagine a warm ball of energy in your chest – maybe it's green, white, gold. Pick a color and imagine it swirling around in your heart center…spreading its warm, light and energy to every part of your body…spreading up through the top of your head, down through your shoulders, and your arms and your fingers, down all the way through your legs, to your feet and your toes until it's shooting out of you – swirling, moving, intensifying. 

Every emotion has a message. And as you feel this warm, comfortable, peaceful, light and energy…I invite you to sit and see if there is a message for you – a feeling, a word, a phrase, a little bit of advice or a question that maybe you have or an issue that you're struggling with.

Be here for as long as you need. Whenever you're ready, go back to your breath in through that nose and double exhale out through the mouth – settling into the room and the sound of my voice, being mindful of your body in the space in this room. 

I invite you to take time to gently move your body however it feels comfortable…to breathe however it feels comfortable. Take your time to open your eyes, and then take out a journal and a notebook…just write down whatever came to you. 

I invite you to remember that you can always come back to this at any point – at any time you want to over and over and over again – and feel this same way. 

If you have any questions or if there's any way that I can support you, shoot me a message and let me know; I would love to work with you, I would love to support you, just over message – if you want to send me a message on DM or if you want to email me at [email protected]. 

I hope this was healing and helpful and supportive for you. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season, a wonderful Christmas – if you celebrate – and a wonderful time with your family, and I will see you in a few weeks.

Thanks for listening. If you'd like to help spread this work to the world, share this episode on social media and tag me – send it to a friend, or leave a quick rating and review below so more people can find me. If you'd like more guidance on your own parenting journey, reach out.