S05|08 - The Missing KEY to Habit Change with Tyson Bradley
Sep 05, 2022Tyson Bradley is the host of the Inherent Identity Podcast He is happily married and the proud father of 2 redheaded girls (and soon to be baby boy). He has studied mindset and behavior change over the past 10 years and has finally cracked the code on the fastest way to make change happen.
What we chat about today:
- Why new habits sometimes seem impossible to implement
- How your inherent identity call help you form new habits
- The 5-step process to habit change using your Identity as a blueprint
- Bypassing “thought-work” and mind chatter to make huge changes in life
Connect with Tyson:
https://www.inherentidentity.com/
IG: @tysonbradleycoaching
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Coaching has changed my own life, and the lives of my clients. More connection, more healing, more harmony and peace in our most important relationships. It increases confidence in any parenting challenges and helps you be the guide to teach your children the family values that are important to you- in clear ways. If you feel called to integrate this work in a deeper way and become a parenting expert, that’s what I’m here for.
My coaching program: click here
Find me on the ‘gram: @the.parenting.coach
Work with me 1:1: click here
Website: click here
Episode Transcript
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hi, I'm Crystal The Parenting Coach. Parenting is the thing that some of us just expected to know how to do. It's not like other areas of your life where you go to school to be taught, get on the job training, or have mentors to help you learn. Now, you can get that help here.
I believe that your relationship with your children is one of the most important aspects of your life, and the best way that you can make a positive impact on the world and on the future. I've made parental relationships my life study, and use life coaching tools with connection-based parenting to build amazing relationships between parents and their children.
If you want an even better relationship with your child, this podcast will help you. Take my Parenting Quiz, the link is in the show notes. Once we know what your parenting style is, I'll give you some tips tailored to you and a roadmap to help you get the most out of my podcast. I invite you to help me spread the word by sharing your favorite episode on social media or with a friend.
Before we dig into today's episode, I want to make a fun and important announcement. I have made a name change to my podcast just to be more aligned with what I speak about; and hopefully, a little bit more inclusive, and just make more sense all around. So, it will no longer be called The Freedom Moms Podcast; and it will now be The Parenting Coach Podcast.
Over on Instagram, I'm @the.parenting.coach. I only speak about Parenting Coaching, and so I just felt like it made a lot more sense. So, just so you know, when you're telling other people or when you're talking to people about the podcast or looking for it, it will now be under The Parenting Coach Podcast.
So, today our episode is called The Missing KEY to Habit Change with Tyson Bradley.
What Tyson Bradley does, and how he got started
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Tyson Bradley is the host of the Inherent Identity Podcast and the #1 New York Times Bestselling Author of the book Discover Your Inherent Identity: A Simple And Effective Way To Create Change And Make It Last.
He is happily married and the proud father of 2 redheaded girls (and soon to be baby boy). He has studied Mindset & Behavior Change over the past 10 years and has finally cracked the code on the fastest way to make change happen.
Hello and welcome to the podcast. I have a special guest today. I'm going to have him introduce himself; especially special because I just very infrequently have males on my podcast. I don't know why, but that just seems to be happening over and over again. So, I am excited to introduce you all to my friend Tyson; and I will let you introduce yourself, Tyson.
Tyson Bradley: Awesome. So, I am Tyson Bradley. And I think Crystal, we probably met through the Life Coach School--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: -through coaching, the Coaching world.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.
Tyson Bradley: And I guess a little bit about me is, I like to first focus on the fact that I'm happily married and have two red-headed little girls.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Awesome.
Tyson Bradley: Seven and four. And my wife and I are actually expecting a little boy in December.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Oh, so fun.
Tyson Bradley: That’s going to be a treat. My wife's a little scared because she's never raised a boy and--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Oh goodness. They're different, at least, for me. I mean, it totally depends on your children, but my boys were just a different species of children than my girl. But it's very fun.
Tyson Bradley: Yeah, no, we're excited. So, that's kind of new in my life.
And then besides that, I host a podcast called the Inherent Identity Podcast. And in the process of launching and writing a book called Discover Your Inherent Identity: A Simple And Effective Way To Create Change And Make It Last. So, that's kind of the working title.
But I feel like so often, I guess the gap that I saw in the industry or out there with all the self-help stuff-- Because I've been doing this self-help stuff for the past 10, 12 years. And I remember struggling to make changes in my life. One example of that was trying to not eat sweets; I don't know if you've had that problem.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes, yes, totally.
Tyson Bradley: The eating-- You eat lunch or dinner, and then you find yourself in the pantries, smacking your lips, wondering what else to have that's a little sweet, a little different.
Why new habits sometimes seem impossible to implement
Tyson Bradley: So, after getting certified as a life coach, you know, one of the main, I guess, methods to stopping a habit was to feel the urge…like feel that sensation of a feeling and let it dissolve, and not act on it.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: I tried that. It was very difficult--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes, I also tried that. Yep.
Tyson Bradley: It didn't work. And maybe it was just my effort…like, not really applying myself to it, but you know, that as well as the concept of just change your thoughts because that's what a lot of people talk about too, is, 'Hey, let's just change your mindset and you can have all the success in the world.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: And that didn't necessarily help either. You know, I read all these books about habit change and you can change your environment. I was like, 'Well, my wife loves to eat them, and so I can't get rid of them, I can't take them out of my environment.'
And so, I kind of got to this point of like, 'What do I do?' And I had this new coach, and it wasn't even for this problem or this challenge, but he talked to me about this concept of being versus doing.
And I know that people may have said that if you've been exposed to self-help…well, you may have been exposed to this idea of like, being, and how do you change who you are on the inside? And it's very vague; and I haven't ever like discovered someone that says, "This is how you change your identity; this is how you change who you are."
Crystal The Parenting Coach: "Here are a few steps to actually do it." I totally agree. I love the idea between being and doing.
And I think a lot of times, we can get into the like, 'Okay, well, here's the thought that's a problem thought, and let's figure out how to switch it.' Which honestly doesn't work effectively, or at least sustainably if it's something really deeply ingrained. If it's just like a little thought here or there where it's not really been like swirling around your brain for your entire life, that's fine.
But if it's one that's like really deep, which is most of what I work with on my clients and we talk about on this podcast…it's just not as easy as like, let's figure out the problem button and switch it. So, I love this idea of being versus doing, it's like changing who you actually are at your core.
Tyson Bradley: Right. You know, and when you think about identity, it comprises all of your life's experiences, and it's like captures all of that information and puts a label on it. So, common examples are, I'm a procrastinator. And usually, the way we describe it and use identity and the way we label it is we say like, "I am this."
And so, it's like, 'I'm not good at following-through.' It's like, 'I'm not a good mom.' That is a statement of identity. And we use all of our past experiences, all these things…'Oh, well, yesterday I yelled at my child or I said I was going to do something that I didn't do it – so thus from all this evidence of my life, I am a procrastinator, I am not a good mom.'
So, that's kind of how we describe it. And when I started like digging into this, I started creating like different "I am statements". So, it's like, 'Okay, this is-- maybe this is different than your average thought, I don't know.' And started experimenting.
And I came up with this statement that I thought would be pretty fun; for me to say to myself and identify as, because some of the books, one of them is Atomic Habits. I don't know if you've read that one.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.
Tyson Bradley: But there's one chapter that talks about identity; and it's 28 pages long, and it's the most important thing in the whole book. And he only spends 28 pages on it. So, I'm writing the book that needs to expound on this concept.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I love this idea because when I was in Coach Training, you know, you take all of the concepts and you actually start using it on yourselves and changing and write whatever.
And I remember thinking about one of the beliefs that I had about myself was that I am indecisive; and I've thought that forever, and I had a lot of evidence to back up that I was indecisive.
And so, one of the things we learn and teach about is, you know, decision fatigue and making decisions more easily and quickly, and making decisions just in a moment. And all of this kind of blew my mind.
And so, I started practicing it because I thought, 'Wow, I've always just been indecisive.' And it really came about because that's how I introduced myself as; I believed that, that was such a part of my core identity that I just kept behaving in that way because I was indecisive.
And that was one of the biggest shifts I saw during Coach Training was that I decided that I was no longer indecisive, that I was actually very good at making decisions efficiently, and that I loved making decisions.
And it was uncomfortable for a while to be like describing myself in a way that, at the time, sounded so different than what I already had. But it really started to shift things. So, I love this idea of changing kind of those core, maybe, factors, ways that we've been identifying ourselves in the past.
Tyson Bradley: Yeah. You know, I think what gives us light is that I think there's something outside of just a simple thought change that maybe speaks deeper and maybe more to our soul or to our spirit, more to our heart, more to this intuition.
And for me, there just came this moment where I was just like, 'Okay, what do I want will I want to not eat sweets?'
And I said, "Okay, what's a-- what's an identity statement that I could create?"
And then it just came and was like, 'I am a sugar shunner…I say, no, to sweets.'
And that statement alone, I found myself, once again, like standing in the pantry, smacking my lips…but then I was just like, 'Wait, I'm a sugar shunner, like I say no to sweets, that's who I am.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: And immediately, like there was no urge…it just like, urge gone. Like it was just like, 'This isn't a thing.' And so, that was surprising to me that one statement about who I am could change that
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Mm-Hmm.
The 5-step process to habit change using your Identity as a blueprint
Tyson Bradley: And that kind of led to this whole discovery of like a whole process and a step-by-step method for you to like connect with yourself, to be able to create these kinds of statements and get in touch with who you really are…this inherent identity that can bypass all the mental chatter and help you to create change faster. And that's what I saw with myself with other things as well as my clients. And so, I don't know if you're up for it, but I'd love to take you through it and give it life.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. Totally. Okay. So, I'm so excited about this concept because I do think that when it comes to-- I felt the same way about intuition. I'm like, I love helping people tap into their intuition, but we need like a process of like how to do this because it's kind of like out there.
And we read these books, and they're very philosophical and theoretical, and they all sound amazing; and you're like, 'But now, what do I do?'
Oftentimes, I talk to my husband about this and he's just like, "I don't actually know what that means though. Like, I don't know what, like how I would do that. Like how do I tune into my emotions?"
And so, one of the things I love doing in my practice is creating concrete tools to make it more applicable to us…to be like, 'Okay, let's learn about this concept.'
'And I love this concept, but then how do I go in and practice it every day?' So, I love being a test subject. I would love for you to show all my listeners here how this works, and how they can tap into their own inherent identity and change those things that they want to. And I'll be-- I'll be your sample person. Let's do it.
Tyson Bradley: Okay. Alright. So, the acronym that we can use is pretty simple; it's called I AM ME (I-A-M-M-E).
I is for Ideal
A is for Amplify
M is for Movement
M is for Manifesto
E is for Evoke
Step 1: Ideal
Tyson Bradley: And the "I" stands for Ideal. And so, what we want to be able to do, and what I want to ask you is, what is an ideal…what is something that you want to create or that your heart yearns for that you haven't really fulfilled yet? <affirmative>,
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Mm-Hmm. Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: What would you say?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. So, that one's easy for me because my daughter just started back in school. I homeschool my kids, but she really wanted to do school this year. So, she's in school.
So, I have to wake up early. I've never been an early riser, but that's something that I've been changing over the last little while. So, I'm feeling a little bit better about the waking up early thing; I would still like to wake up a little bit earlier.
But the biggest thing for me right now would be movement; I really want to be more fit. I noticed that when I go on hikes with my family, which we love doing – we love adventuring and traveling – that it's really hard for me to be, or I guess get up the hill. Especially like inclines are difficult. I actually just recently talked about this on my podcast too.
I'm like, "I want to-- I want to hike." But, in general, I would just like to have a consistent practice of moving my body even in the wintertime. So, some sort of like exercise or something that helps me feel like my body is more able to just do whatever I want with it all the time, really.
Tyson Bradley: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, that probably aligns with also waking up early in the morning; I don't know, for sure. But yes, I want a regular practice of movement so that I can keep my body really fit.
Because I feel like one of the things about what you and I both do, Tyson, is that…we want to speak at events, we want to write books, we want to travel, we want to put on retreats, we want to be able to be there for our clients and for our families.
And it's really an amazing way-- It's amazing life; it's so amazing. But I also feel like having a body that's like physically healthy is a really important aspect of being able to do this work…and mentally – right? – they're both so connected.
So, that's what has been really on my heart lately is like, how can I just treat my body with a little bit more care – a little less sugar, maybe a little more movement, a little more sleep, stuff like that?
Tyson Bradley: Yeah. Okay. So, I love this. And I think that there's-- What's important is that maybe even the next step in the process helps to clarify. Because a lot of times, when we start with just like, what's the ideal; what is important?
And you even described it as like…what my heart is saying. And there's a difference because we have to be careful because when we ask the question like, what's ideal for you? What would be the dream experience for you? What are you wanting?
We had to be careful because our brain wants to answer that question; and our brain will answer it from the place of what the world has taught us we should want…versus taking a moment of silence to be able to say, "But what do I want, really?"
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: It's like a lot of people could say, "I want to wake up early", and they go about…but they're just like, 'But actually, I just want to have a better experience with my morning'. It's not about waking up earlier. It's just like, 'I just want to have these experiences.' And if I could get them done in a short amount of time, then I would.
Step 2: Amplify
Tyson Bradley: So, it's like we have to kind of question; and the next step in the process is (A) for which stands for Amplify.
And so, it's all about-- Okay, how can I dramatize? What would be the 10x version? What would be the absolute dream experience? Like, okay, what would it look like, Crystal, for you to have this consistent practice of moving your body? If you could just choose anything you want, what would be, 'It's super amazing'?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Oh, well, I would want to do it. Like that seems like the most bizarre. I'm like, I would--
Tyson Bradley: Okay.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I can't imagine wanting to do it. I can't imagine waking up in the morning and being like excited to go for like a jog or a walk. Like I've never really been into, I don't know, like PE class, whatever those people are that are like in sports and do those things.
I was in like the music and-- Yeah. Anyways, I was not-- I was into reading books. I've just never really been into movement or exercise a ton. And so, for me, it would look like having it be not so hard on my body.
Like being able to go out and do it, and it feel easy or at least easier…and be more just intrinsically motivated to do it. Because, every once in a while, I can do it. Like I occasionally do it here or there. But I think just that consistency and just wanting to do it.
Because right now I'm thinking like, 'Oh, I would love to just be fit without doing that…I would love to feel like my body's just like really fit and able to handle anything without actually having to wake up in the morning and exercise.' But I mean, I know that those are connected.
Tyson Bradley: You know, this really is fascinating because, you know, as we start understanding and start digging into, what do you really want here…we start to uncover what's actually going on. And so, as you talk, I think to myself, huh? Like, so are you saying if you could just have the energy that you want, without exercising, is that what you would choose?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: 100%. If I could have like the mental and physical stamina that I imagine I would want without having to exercise ever, I would love that. Just because I've never really enjoyed exercising. I do enjoy some things though. Like there are some active things that I love doing. But they're not necessarily year-round activities, that I don't live in a place where it's more me year-round.
Tyson Bradley: Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, sometimes it's a matter of entertaining…what if that was possible? And, what if it was just a matter of nutrition? What if it was just a matter of like-- Maybe I take a few supplements, and I have a great nutrition, and I move throughout the day naturally. I just stand up or whatever throughout the day and I have the energy that I want.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah, I would take that.
Tyson Bradley: Yeah. Because that's important. Because we could be-- I could take your wanting to do movement and we could go on the direction of creating a whole statement around this – but we're climbing off the wrong ladder.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: You know, and I'll tell you a little experience for me is I remember-- I can't remember what the change was that I was trying to create, but it's like I wanted the results faster.
And I wanted it to be easy, but then for a moment I was just like, 'But wait, do I really want it to be easy…like, truly?'
For example, say you're building a business or say you're raising your kids, or whatever. It's like, you know, do you really want to win the lottery and have all the money provided for you? Do you really want for your kids to behave perfectly and then you don't develop any skills, any characteristics, any attributes that help you in other areas of life?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: That's what we had to consider. And that's what in this moment, I was just like, 'Wait, I think I might actually want this to be harder and challenging because I want the accomplishment, I want that feeling…I don't want this to be just given to me, I want this skill.'
I remember wanting my kids and even believing and just like, 'Oh, I'm so happy and grateful that my kids are like so obedient and they're just like, yes dad, I will do the chores, thank you so much, I love this.'
You know, and then they didn't; like one day it worked and then the next day it was just like, what's going on? Like, they're crazy.
And then-- And then I felt like-- I felt like God told me, he's just like, 'You don't actually want them to be perfect.' It's like, because if they are, then you don't get to develop patience. I was like, 'Ah, you're right, I want them to be crazy so that I can develop patience.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So many things, so many skills that we develop through parenting. Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: So, let me ask you this Crystal, it's like, what's the real desire? Like, what do you want, really?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I imagine myself in like 20 or 30 or 40 years, I want to be able to have a body that doesn't just like ache and can't like, you know, walk upstairs easily or whatever; like, I just want-- I just want a healthy body, really. That's what I want. I want a healthy body that moves…that's able to do, to achieve the goals that I have for myself and my life.
Tyson Bradley: And I love how you went to kind of like the end of your life kind of thing…just like this grander vision, which is super helpful. It's like, 'Okay, at the end of your life, like what do you want really?' 'Well, I want a healthy body.' Okay.
Step 3: Movement
Tyson Bradley: That leads us to the next step, which is actually called movement, which--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Awesome.
Tyson Bradley: -is all about, which is all about the action. So, it's just like, 'Okay, what would you-- What would it require? What kind of actions would create the healthy body that you'd love to have?'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. And I think when you mentioned like supplements and nutrition, I think that probably does have more to do with it than I am really thinking about because in the past there's definitely been, you know, foods that I can tell make my body feel a certain way versus not.
Tyson Bradley: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And part of this healthy body is also in my brain; and I think a lot of the things that I intake affect, you know, mental clarity. So, I would say that probably finding like supplements and just foods…like what foods really seem to fuel me versus make me feel more kind of bogged down. And then probably some sort of movement, but maybe it can be movement that I enjoy more.
Tyson Bradley: Yeah, maybe.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I'm like, I'm not sure. I just keep thinking of winter. I'm like, 'Can I, can I find something I enjoy?' I love hiking, I love kayaking. I love paddle boarding.
Tyson Bradley: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And I know that all of those use some sort of muscles. So, I mean, that's good. But I'm just like, what could I possibly do in the winter that-- Yeah. Anyways, yes--
Tyson Bradley: Awesome.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I would think it would probably be a combination of those kind of three things; like finding some supplements, finding some sort of food plan or whatever that makes me feel a little bit more motivated or…I don't know, mental clarity and then some sort of movement.
Tyson Bradley: Yeah. Love it. Okay.
Step 4: Manifesto
Tyson Bradley: So, once we kind of have the actions outlined, you know, the next step is the next M, which is Manifesto.
And so, this is kind of where we take all this information of; what's the ideal, what's the amplified version of it, what's the-- what's the movement, what are the actions required? And we create into this I Am statement.
And so, I like to make it fun by having alliteration or a rhyme. Other people, it doesn't really matter. Like, I help my kids. It was like they make messes sometimes. And so, we created one, I was just like, 'We are mess cleaners, we clean up messes.' And it was as simple as that.
And, you know, a few weeks ago, it was like my daughter tipped over our piano bench, books spilled out; and I showed up, she's like, "Dad, help." And then I came and she's like, "I made a mess." I was like, "Oh, look at this." She said, "Oh, it's okay, though…I'm a mess cleaner." And I'm just like, "What? Okay, this is crazy."
Crystal The Parenting Coach: That is so cool.
Tyson Bradley: And it made it so that it wasn't a big deal to make a mess because, why? Because we're mess cleaners. We clean up messes. Like that's part of who we are; it's not a big problem anymore.
And so, for you it's like, it's like I could just be like, 'I'm a supplement supplier'. It's like, 'I take supplements to support my body'…or it's just like, 'I am a fuel finder, I find the foods that fuel my body'.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: And you'll notice that it's like, and I am semi-paired with a doing. There has to be an action with it too. So, it's like, here's what I am, here's what I do because of who I am. And every time that I do that thing, I reinforce who I am.
So, 'I'm a sugar shunner, I say no to sweets.' So, every time I said no to sweets, it was just like, 'Yeah, because I'm a sugar shunner…that's what I do, that's who I am.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Mm-Hmm.
Tyson Bradley: And it's important that we experiment with even just the way this is…now when we say it, we feel something, like there's a resonation. Like it resonates; that it hits, it lands.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: We feel something. It connects with us because if it doesn't, then it's not going to work as well. And part of the reason for even trying to find a phrase of your identity that you can connect with – and then it's connected to like what you really want…like when you sit and think about it, what you really want – is because what you really want is who you really are.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: Like, think about everything that your heart has longed for. Like, it keeps nagging at you. Like this thing that's just like, ah, just like…I've always wanted to like spend more time with my kids, or I've always wanted to like, you know, have lessons for them and teach them some of the things that I learned on this podcast, or I've always wanted to, you know, run and move a little bit more.
And these things that it was like we've always wanted to, and it's just like, where in the world do those come from? Why do they keep nagging at you? And what if those are actually your heart speaking to you about who you really are? And if you just started to identify as that, you'd be able to live into it so much easier.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Yeah. I love that because I'm thinking like, when you were talking about the different I Am statements, I was like, "Oh yeah, I'm a mover." Like I'm somebody that likes movement, because that is true.
Tyson Bradley: Yes.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Like I already feel that way where like…I'm a nature lover, I spend time outdoors every day. And maybe I just need to get over that. Like, it doesn't matter what the weather is like; I just spend time outdoors every day because I do love nature. Yeah.
And I love that I'm a fuel finder too. Like, I think that one is so good. Like, what foods will help fuel my body and my mind?
Step 5: Evoke
Tyson Bradley: Right. You know, and the thing is the last step is Evoke. E is for Evoke, which is all about…how can I keep reminding myself of the truth of who I really am? And it's like, I just want to keep reminding myself of the fact that I'm a fuel finder.
It's like, "I find foods that nourish my body"…or it's like, "I am a mover, I love moving in nature". It's like, "No matter what time of year--", it's like "-I just love it".
And you could just say, "I'm a nature lover, I spend time in nature every day." That's it. And it's like-- It's kind of like The Lion King where Simba sees Mufasa in the sky.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: -and Mufasa's just like, "Remember who you are." He said "Remember--" like five or six times after that.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: Because it's the most important thing of the whole story; that's the point of the story, isn't an identity change. So, you might have to go watch that again with your kids.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: But this is what it's all about…what is your ideal? Like what's really what you want? Well, how can we amplify that like 10 times this heart's desire, this heart's yearning?
And then we create some, it's like, what are the movements? What are the actions? What do we need to do to be able to create that ideal that's within me?
And then I create a manifesto to describe and put a label to who I really am. And when we do that and evoke it daily, then change becomes easy; and it's fast, and it's fun, and it's so much more enjoyable because we're actually connecting to who we really are.
And it's like we're bypassing all the brains chatter because we're not talking to the brain, we're talking to our soul and we're living from that place. So, I don't know if that makes sense or if that's applicable enough, but all I know is that it works for me and it's working for my clients and they're making changes fast than I've ever seen before.
Bypassing "thought-work" and mind chatter to make huge changes in life
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. I think it feels like, it feels more natural. Right? Like when I teach people about intuitive parenting and how to tap into their intuition, it's exactly those same things that you said.
And what is interesting to me is that it's usually like the same things, which is what I call connection-based parenting, but it's always like more compassion and more understanding and more, you know, helping me become less triggered and me be being more emotionally regulated.
They're very similar things, and we all, kind of, deep-down desire some of those similar things. And so, it's just helping them tune into like…"You already are that."
Tyson Bradley: Yes.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: "You're already amazing." "You already have these desires." "You're already doing a good job." And as we can tune into that, it kind of amplifies that. So, I think that this is a really great way to kind of break it down into concrete steps to be like, 'Okay, if there's some area of my life that I want to work on--'
And for me, my next area of work working on stuff is this movement idea, then how can I align myself with that? And I love when I'm doing my like morning meditation or visualization to say I AM statements.
So, I think just adding these I AM statements to those to be like, 'This is-- this is who I am deep down.' And then just continuously practicing that.
I totally agree with you; I think it bypasses the brain Because I think that when we really are able to shift our thinking, it's because we shift it both in our brain and in our soul.
Tyson Bradley: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And when we only shift it in our brain, then it doesn't change anything. It comes back again and again and again; and we come back and get coached on the same thing. Or we find it in our own self-coaching over and over again. But when we can find a way to shift it in both our brain and our heart, then we're like, 'Okay, now the shift is happening.'
Tyson Bradley: Well, you know, I think you've all heard it described as like there's a science and art to everything. And so, it's like mindset work…it's like that's all-- Even like the-- We've been able to put a practical application around changing mindset, so that has become a science now.
And now, what we're trying to do is like, 'Okay, there's an art to it…and the art is the heart, the art is your soul.'
And so, it's like we have to have both to be able to manage and live into who we really want to be. And you know, for me, even with my own parenting, it's like I started out, I just started out saying it's like I am patient…but the problem was that statement did not fly for me.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Tyson Bradley: Like, I would try it and I didn't feel it, and because there's all this like negative connotation that I had around the word 'patient', and that might be the same for a friend of you listening.
And so, for me, it morphed. I was able to like, refine and change; and let this be a living document of just like, what do I want to identify as? And then it morphed into like, 'I am a calm connector.' And I was just like, I breathe and ask, 'What would love do?' And like, that was one version of it.
And I practiced that. I was like, 'That didn't really work.' I was like, 'That's not really what I want.' It's like, 'What do I really want here?'
And it just started this process of discovery until I landed on, "I am a prodigal papa"…and this comes from this parable that Jesus talked about, like the prodigal son. And I loved it, and there was so much value in it; and it's like, it resonated with me. So, there might be things that resonate with you, you're just like, "I am a Penguin papa"…or it's like, "I am a masterful--"…"I'm like, Miss Marvel mama". Like, I don't even know. But like, there are things--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Some acronyms-
Tyson Bradley: Some acronym or just whatever that resonates with you; and when you say it, it feels good. And so, it's like when I say it's like, "I'm a prodigal papa", I allow suffering and learning, I watch with love, and I restore their identity
And it's just like there's actions associated with it who I want to be in the process of it. And as it evolves, it's so much easier for me to just like live into it because it communicates with what I really want. So, it's like, take this process and then just use it as a way to explore.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. And I think as through-- One thing that you said that was interesting too is exploring and finding words that really resonate with you--
Tyson Bradley: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And so, finding ones that really just like hit home for you will be really important, because then it is going to come natural. It's not going to be like, 'What's that thing that I wrote down that I'm supposed to be remembering to say every morning?' It'll like, it'll feel really true.
Tyson Bradley: Right. It's like, you could take what I'm saying; and it's like, you know, for you, you could take my example of it's like 'I'm a nutrition finder or whatever' and 'I'm a fuel finder', and that may work, it may resonate.
I might have just like been on point and just like said something awesome; and you're just like, 'Woo, I love it.' But then again, it could be something else. What matters though is that you start in the process of this discovery because in the process, you're starting to uncover what your heart really wants, and that's what we're trying to get at.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. I love this. I feel like everything you've said today totally aligns with what we speak about on this podcast; and finding, you know, tapping into something that's a little bit deeper – a little bit deeper than just like our surface desires and, you know, what culture or society has told us that we should be like or we should do and really tapping into, into who we are.
How to connect with Tyson Bradley
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, thank you for coming on today; and if people are interested in connecting with you, where can they find you?
Tyson Bradley: Yeah, so I would tell them to go to inherentidentity.com, and you can get a worksheet and walk through all of this; that'll be helpful for you. And then if you want to connect with me on Instagram, I'm @tysonbradleycoaching.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Tyson Bradley Coaching. Awesome. Sounds good. I will have links to those in the show notes for you guys. And thanks for coming on today.
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