S07|14 - Human Design and Parenting with Geralyn BrennanNov 06, 2023
I LOVE all things personality- and finding more about ME and who I am has helped me feel permission to be even MORE me. Human Design has been a deep dive into learning more about my energy and how I best work. In this conversation we dig into how to harness the knowledge of your children’s human design to parent them in their own unique way. Intuition, trust and belief in your child are key to connection in parenting.
After teaching special education in New York City Public Schools for 15 years, Geralyn took time off when her two children were born. After becoming a parent, she started questioning the status quo which led her on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and realignment. After discovering Human Design, she dove deep into learning how she could use this tool to empower herself and others to reach their full potential. Geralyn is a Human Design reader and coach who helps people come home to their most radically authentic selves.
In this episode:
- How Geralyn learned more about her unique kids and used that knowledge (and intuition) to parent them differently
- How belief and trust in your kids builds their own self-trust (this is THE best!)
- What Human Design is and how to helps you to understand yourself more
- How to use Human Design to understand your children and parenting them uniquely
Coaching has changed my own life, and the lives of my clients. More connection, more healing, more harmony, and peace in our most important relationships. It increases confidence in any parenting challenges and helps you be the guide to teach your children the family values that are important to you- in clear ways. If you feel called to integrate this work in a deeper way and become a parenting expert, that’s what I’m here for.
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Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hi, I'm Crystal The Parenting Coach. Parenting is the thing that some of us just expected to know how to do. It's not like other areas of your life where you go to school and get taught, get on the job training, or have mentors to help you, but now you can get that help here.
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Welcome to today's episode, Human Design and Parenting with Geralyn Brennan.
I love all things personality, and finding more about me and who I am has helped me feel permission to be even more me; Human Design has helped dive deep into learning about my energy and how best I work.
In this conversation, Geralyn and I dig into how to harness the knowledge of your children's Human Design to parent them in their own unique way; using intuition, trust and self-belief, which are key into building a connection with your kids.
After teaching Special Education in New York City public schools for 15 years, Geralyn took time off when her two children were born. After becoming a parent, she started questioning the status quo, which led her on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and realignment.
After discovering Human Design, she dove deep into learning how she could use this tool to empower herself and others to reach their full potential. Geralyn Brennan is a Human Design reader and coach who helps people come home to their most radically authentic selves.
In this episode, we cover how Geralyn learned more about her unique kids, and use that knowledge to parent them differently…how belief and trust in your kids builds their own self-trust, this is really the best…what Human Design is, and how you can understand it better to help yourself and help your parenting – and how to use Human Design to understand just the people around you and yourself uniquely.
What Geralyn Brennan does, and how she got into Human Design
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Hello everyone. Welcome to The Parenting Coach Podcast today. I am excited to bring you a topic that I've been wanting to bring to the podcast for a while, and I was just having a Human Design reading.
We're going to talk all about Human Design today with my friend, Geralyn; and I wanted to bring her on the podcast and specifically talk about Human Design and how it relates to parenting. And if you're like, 'I have no idea what you're talking about,' that's okay, because we will explain it.
And before I have Geralyn introduce herself, her and I met-- I'm in a new coaching program this year called Elemental Coaching, Sacred Rebels by Sadie Jane. And it's been every month we've learned about a different topic like hypnotherapy, breath work, Human Design.
And I got to the Human Design month and was like, 'This is super fascinating, but also my brain doesn't really work this way;' and I know I'm not going to understand it all or dig into it very much more, even though it's been helpful for me to have it done personally on me.
And so, I was like, I want to bring somebody else that knows more about it and has dug more into it to chat about it.
So, welcome to the podcast, Geralyn, thanks for being here.
Geralyn Brennan: Thank you. Thank you so much.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah, just go ahead and introduce yourself. Just tell the listeners what it is that you do – and then also, how you got into Human Design in the first place.
Geralyn Brennan: Sure, sure. Yeah. So, my name's Geralyn. I'm a former Special Education teacher. I worked in New York City schools for 15 years. My undergrad is in Psychology; I've always been a fascinated with how people works, you know?
And it wasn't until recently, in the last couple years, that I discovered Human Design. I've always been very fascinated with astrology; and that's a very, that's a very big piece of Human Design.
When I first saw Human Design and I looked at the body graph, I was like, 'What, what is this?' You know, and I kind of put it to the side for a minute because it just looked like a lot and I just wasn't in the space to understand it really. But, you know, after I had my kids and I started on my own parenting journey, I dove deeper into trying to figure out who my kids were as people.
Human Design and how it relates to parenting
Geralyn Brennan: And what Human Design really does is it kind of gives you that blueprint or, you know, that manual that we always wish we had for our children or for ourselves.
I've always heard parents say, "I wish my kid came with a manual".
Well, here it is. You know, Human Design is literally the energetics of who you are. Okay? It is based off of the energy in the universe at the exact moment that you were born.
It comes from astrology, like I said; it's based off of Kabbalah, the ancient Chinese I Ching, and also the chakras. If you know anything about yoga, you've probably heard about energy chakras within the body. And so, that's where it comes from.
And Human Design, like I said, it just really talks about different energies and who you are. So, there are different things within our bodies – within these energy centers, they're called centers. And then within those centers we have gates, there are 64 possible gates; and each of those gates hold a different frequency or a different energy.
And we all know that everybody is different, but this is the literal blueprint. I like to describe it as almost like the manual in the glove compartment of your car, because every car is different, right? It works different. It has different features. My minivan is not going to be able to keep up with somebody else's Corvette; you know, on the road, it's going to operate very differently.
And that's the same with humans; we operate very differently. And sometimes, we can get a little bit caught up in seeing what everybody else is doing or how everybody else does certain things – as parents, as people in general.
And we think, 'Oh, maybe I should be doing that too,' or 'Maybe I should be feeling that way too,' or, you know, whatever it is. But really, it's…we have our own unique frequency and energies; and when we become aligned with those, it's when life gets real easy. It's very difficult. It's difficult when we're--
Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's very difficult when I'm going to try and drive my minivan the same way that somebody else is driving their Corvette. That's impossible, really, you know?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Geralyn Brennan: So, same with human beings. It's impossible for us to all operate the same.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: The same way.
Geralyn Brennan: You know, we're not the same people.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I always explain it like-- I do not explain it that well. I'm just like, 'Okay, well--' I'm really into personality tests; I've done all of them. I know every single number, style, color, whatever…blah, blah, blah, that I am.
Geralyn Brennan: Right.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I usually say, "It's like a personality test thing, but it's a little bit more detailed." And it doesn't seem detailed because there's like five main – it's five, right? – five main--
Geralyn Brennan: Energy types.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah, energy types. But because of those, all of the gates and centers that you were talking about, it's actually way more detailed I found than when I had done Enneagram or Myers-Briggs or any of those things.
Geralyn Brennan: Yeah, exactly.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, I thought how in-depth and personal it seemed to be. So, if you're listening and you're like, 'Okay, this sounds a little bit woo-woo,' it's a little bit woo-woo – but the more that I learned about it, the more that I was like, 'This feels really spot-on for me.'
And like you said, it helped me give myself permission to be more me and lean into my unique differences…and not be like, well, I should be more like the Corvette…I should be more like, you know, the SSUV – or whatever than I am instead of trying to be something different.
Geralyn Brennan: Oh, absolutely. It's like-- I've been doing these readings; and one of the things that keeps coming up, people will say to me, "I thought there was something wrong with me."
You know, they literally will say, "I literally thought that there was something wrong with me, that I didn't see things in this way…or I didn't have the same amount of energy that other people have for certain things…or that I was always forgetting things…or that I feel people's emotions so strongly." You know?
And when you have these gifts and these differences, sometimes it can feel like other people don't have, why am I like this? And a lot of the time, it might feel like, almost like a little bit like, is there something wrong with me?
You know, because society, in general, has conditioned us to think that we all need to fit into these boxes, and that we all need to kind of act in this homogenized way. And when we don't fit into these boxes – in whatever way that we don't – it's like, wait, is there something wrong with me that I can't do this, or I don't see it this way, or that I can't keep up…type of a thing?
And no, there's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. This is who you are, and we're not meant to operate in a way that is the same as anybody else.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. I love that idea. And I think that-- I think that's what personality tests in the past have done for me. Some of them, I felt like they were too-- Like, there was only like a few answers. Like, I did this color one back in the day, and I was like, 'Well, what if I want to be all the colors?' And like, there was only four answers. And I was like, but it was just too--
It was too general, I guess. And it didn't feel like it really was me. But the ones that I found are a lot more detailed, and I've done a few like that. I really felt like, 'Oh, okay, now I can lean into the strengths that I know that I have and feel more okay about who I am.'
And I feel like Human Design did that for me, but in a deeper way. For whatever reason, I felt like it was more in-depth and more on the ball – and more like, 'Yeah, this is me.' And I just felt so much more relaxed learning about it and leaning into myself.
How Geralyn's way of parenting changed after learning about Human Design
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And so, when I heard in our program people talk about how it had changed their parenting and how things had shifted because they then understood their kids on that level, not just themselves on that level, I really wanted to have a conversation about that.
So, I would love to hear from you once you did start diving more into yours and to your kids, what started to shift in your parenting? What changed about that?
Geralyn Brennan: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, when we think about our children…you know, when you're born into this world, you're born as the purest form of yourself, right?
And then depending on what family you're born into, where you're born, all of this different conditioning starts to happen. And it's not to say that-- You know, as parents, we're always wanting the best for our children, right? We want them to be successful, we want them to be loved, we want them to be able to form connections with other people and have friendship and things like that.
And by kind of either giving them advice or kind of putting our point of views on them, it kind of shapes the way that children – especially young children – perceive the world, right? Whether through parents or school or religion – media, social media, government – all of this is conditioning for us…and then, therefore, for our children.
And so, as young parents, especially if I think back to when my kids were really little, and I wished I had that handbook to be like, what do I do here? You know, because it's a little bit like, 'I'm now responsible for this human,' and it can be a little scary.
It's like, 'I don't want to make a mistake, I don't want to do the wrong thing here, I want to do what's best for my kids.' Right? So, when we make decisions for our children based on what we think is the best for them, it's not always what is the best for them because they're different from us. You know?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.
Geralyn Brennan: They're different people. And so, when we really-- As a young mother, I really tried to lean into what it was going to be best for my kids. And I didn't even know about Human Design then; it was just an intuitive thing.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Geralyn Brennan: But, you know, doctors are going to tell you, "Okay, your kids have to hit certain milestones, and they need to be eating a certain way in a certain amount, and they need to be sleeping a certain way in a certain amount."
And I threw that out the window. I was like, 'Nope, I'm unsubscribing from this.'
And it was just solely because it didn't feel right; it didn't feel right to me to try and force my kid to do something that they didn't want to do, you know?
And so, again, like you were talking about the permission slip earlier, Human Design really is going to give parents that permission slip to be like, 'Oh, my kid doesn't want--'
You know, because it can talk about your children's digestion, about how they learn…about what environments are best for them, about things that might trigger them. You know?
We get triggered as parents, but kids also can get triggered. So, it's kind of just tell-- It gives you a more in-depth look at like, 'Oh, this is who my child is.' You know?
And as young children, they can't necessarily communicate to us, especially before they're verbal – but even when they are verbal, they might not have the language to be able to explain what they're really feeling inside. And so, this kind of gives you a little peak.
And it's not to say, because I don't like to get very dogmatic about anything; you know, it's not like, this is their Human Design, they must follow this. You know? But again, it's going to kind of give you a permission slip to go along with your own intuition and kind of let your kids trust themselves.
Also, when you trust your kids, they're going to then trust themselves. And by the way, Human Design tells us how we, each, are supposed to make our own decisions. And it's not from our logical minds; it's from somewhere within your body – and that is unique to you, depending on your design.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Okay. I love all of that. How old your kids now? What ages are they?
Geralyn Brennan: So, my son is seven, and my daughter-- My son is eight and my daughter is seven.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Eight, seven. Okay. So, I would love to fast-forward to now. Now that you've kind of been like, 'Okay, I'm going to unsubscribe from like, this is exactly how my kids should be,' which, by the way, is like; all that I teach in parenting, I'm like, it's all about intuition and about trust.
And also, I always give this analogy of like planting a seed. Like a seed was planted in this garden, and we think we can change the seed and make it grow faster or less fast, or have it be a totally different seed than it was in the first place.
And we're constantly trying to shape and change it to this ideal that we have instead of recognizing like; what am I in control of? I can nourish the soil…I can give it sunlight, I can give it some water – but ultimately, I don't decide the speed that it grows at, I don't decide the seed that was planted in the first place – I just get to love it and cherish it and take care of it.
And I feel like that's exactly what you're saying here with Human Design. You're like, 'It's okay that the development might be a little bit different and that they might go at their own little pace with things.' And it helps you just to, kind of, lean more into that.
The differences Geralyn has noticed in her children since she learned about their Human Design
Crystal The Parenting Coach: What has changed now? Like, now that they're a little bit older, you've been doing this for a while, what do you feel like the differences are in your parenting because you know more about their Human Design?
Geralyn Brennan: Well, now that they're older, they have a lot more opinions. And so, as your children get older, and they are going to tell you more and more of who they are-- I have to check myself all the time because when I'm making decisions on how I'm going to parent them…it's, I really have to look at my own conditioning.
I have to constantly be checking in on, is this how I really feel or is this something I picked up along the way – whether it's from my own childhood, whether it's from society? You know?
So, I'm constantly checking in, and I'm really trying to lean into that my kids know who they are and they're here to really align with that. So, when they're-- And my kids are very different people; they have very different energy types. Without even knowing Human Design, you know your kid.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.
Geralyn Brennan: And you know that how different they can be, right? And they need to be parented in different ways. And so, I really lean into that too, and kind of look at, what do I think is going to be best for them at this time? Really listen to what they're telling me, right? Because they're going to know their own bodies better than anybody else.
And so, when we allow them to trust that and not try to use logic to change their minds on certain things, it really allows them to say, "Okay, I can trust myself…I can do this and my parents are going to support me in this."
So, that's something that I really have-- And it's a constant ongoing thing, because again…every time I'm making decisions, it's from a place of like, there's conditioning. I've grown up in a world where you're constantly being bombarded with other people's thoughts and opinions and ideas.
And if you even look at – if we're talking about children – the education system, and I was, like I said, a teacher so I know it very well…not all children are going to learn, they don't learn in the same way.
And Human Design specifically will tell you what the best learning environment, what's the best way for your child to learn; and that's just one of those other boxes. So, that's something-- Because my kids are in a school, they're not homeschooled. And so, that's something that I'm constantly looking at too.
Like, what boxes is the education system putting them into? What am I going to-- how am I going to help them through this? And, you know, what are we going to unsubscribe to within this? And, what are we going to-- how are we going to move forward?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Oh, this is so lovely. Okay. I was taking a couple notes when you were talking, because I love it so much. I love the idea of believing that your kids know who they are, believing that they know their bodies more than anyone else, and really listening to what they're telling you.
And it's like believing them – believing them, and allowing them space to trust themselves and to start listening to their bodies. Because I think what conditioning often does, whether it's on purpose or not, is say like, "Listen to me because I know more than what your insights know." Right?
And so, you go to-- Even before you go school, even before you leave your home, you're already in this space of where somebody knows better than you. And when you're little, you kind of have to rely on that, right? You have to rely on other people to take care of you.
And so, you kind of end up with all this conditioning, which really is just these beliefs that have been passed down to us from other sources, instead of tapping into; does this feel like mine? Does this feel like truth to me? How can I tell what truth feels like in my body? And how can I trust myself and my body and my intuition and my own energy?
Geralyn Brennan: Yeah.
The 5 Human Design energy types, and how they relate to parenting
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, I love that Human Design allows us to do that more. And I love what you said about like, I get to decide like…what am I going to take on and what am I not going to – and is this my own conditioning or is this something I really believe in?
I would love to dive a little bit more, and before we end, I would love to know more about just like a couple general-- There's five energy types, right?
Geralyn Brennan: Yes.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, specifically to do with parenting, I think people would be interested in how that relates to like their learning type or just basic information that would be helpful to know about each of those types when parenting.
Geralyn Brennan: Sure. Yeah. We have generators, we have manifesting generators, we have manifestors, projectors, and reflectors; and they are all very different energy types.
The majority of the world, I will say it's about 70% of the population are generators and manifesting generators. So, when you are one of those other three types – either the manifestor, the projector, or the reflector – specifically, you might feel almost like an alien within this world because the world is not set up, you know, for that energy type. The generators and the manifesting generators have defined sacrals.
And so, what your sacral center is, is your life force energy. It's like a battery pack; and when you go to sleep at night, that battery pack recharges and you wake up in the morning and you are good to go. You are ready to, you know, take on the world with whatever lights you up.
You know, you're meant to be doing a lot of things. You're meant to have that great energy in order to give other people energy. Because here's the thing; when we're within other people's auras, we're also within their energy. So, you're taking in other people's energy constantly. Okay?
And so, depending on what your Human Design is, you can have certain centers defined and certain centers undefined.
The projectors, the reflectors and the manifestors all have undefined sacrals. So, if I'm around you – like I'm a projector and you're a manifesting generator – I'm taking in your sacral energy. And I am like, just taking that in and amplifying it.
So, it's real important for generators and manifesting generators to be doing the things that light them up, the things that they really want to be doing according to their own authority.
And their authority is their decision maker; whatever your design tells you-- And every energy type can have a different authority. Like I'm an emotional, I believe you were a-- Were you a sacral?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Sacral.
Geralyn Brennan: A sacral. Yeah. So, you have-- You have like a gut intuition.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.
Geralyn Brennan: It's like an instant yes or no.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Geralyn Brennan: And so, we need to, again, like I was saying earlier, not be making decisions from a logical place; we need to be making decisions from whatever our authority is.
So, when parenting a manifesting generator or a generator-- a manifesting generator, specifically, my daughter is one, she-- And you probably love to be involved in a lot of different things at once.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Geralyn Brennan: And not always completing tasks; you're, kind of, here to experiment on different things…and see what works and what doesn't work. But, you know, society often looks at people that are not completing tasks or finishing projects as like, that's not-- that's a failure. Right? 'You're not supposed to do that.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I always thought it was like flaky or something, right?
Geralyn Brennan: Right.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Like, I'm trying all this, but never finishing one thing unless I really love it. And definitely society's like, 'No, no, you finish what you start.'
Geralyn Brennan: Right. Yeah. And so, that's the conditioning I'm talking about. So, this is like where I'm talking about this is the permission slip, this is the permission slip.
So, projectors, we'll talk about that just because I am a projector. It's like, because we have that undefined sacral, we don't have the energy to keep up with the generators and the manifesting generators of the world. You know, we need a lot of alone time.
And as a kid, that might-- When your kid wants to spend time alone, sometimes parents might be like, why doesn't my kid want to go out and play with their friends? Or, why doesn't my kid want to be around other people all the time?
Projectors and people with a lot of undefined centers, reflectors have no centers defined. They need a lot of alone time because they can get deeply conditioned by other people's energies, and it can be a lot. It could feel like a lot.
If you are a person with an undefined emotional center, that can also be a lot because you're taking in other people's emotions and amplifying it. So, you know, there are many different types within Human Design that need a lot of alone time.
And again, parents might be like, 'My kids need to have friends and they need to be with their friends.' And you know-- And that is true, every type needs friends and should be around with their friends.
But if your kid is saying like, "I don't want to go to that party", or "I don't want to go--" because, in general, we're very overscheduled in life. You know, the kids go to school and then they go to afterschool activities and then they have play dates. And they're kind of like, there's not a lot of downtime in there, right?
And so, for a kid that does not have a defined sacral – whether that's projector or manifestor or reflector – that can be exhausting. It can be totally exhausting. And your kid might say, "I'm tired, I'm tired."
And we might be like, 'We need to bring this kid to the doctor because there's something wrong.'
And again, people are always like, 'I thought there was something wrong with me,' but no, this is who you are…this is your design-- It's a major permission slip for parents to just specifically listen to that.
You know, manifestors, manifestors are another undefined sacral, but manifestors are going to be a kid that do not want to listen to authority. They are not going to want to listen to what they're being told to do, because they're here to do their own thing. They have an aura that is repelling, and that's really so that nobody can tell them what to do because they're here in life to do big things. You know?
So, as a parent or a teacher to a manifestor, it might be a really difficult thing to do because they are not going to want to listen to you. When you figure out that your child's a manifestor, you're going to be like, 'Oh, okay.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: 'That makes sense.'
Geralyn Brennan: 'That makes sense.' You know? And so, just knowing that information, I think allows us as parents; to have more empathy for our children, to have a deeper understanding about our children. And it just kind of makes life easier.
It's like, 'Oh, I don't have to-- I don't have to try so hard.' Like you were saying about the seed in the garden, it's like; that seed is going to grow no matter what we do, right? It's going to grow into who it's here to be. And same with our kids; our kids are going to grow into who they're meant to be, regardless of what we are doing. You know?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Oh, I love that. I feel like that's such a good spot to kind of wrap up in that we get to just-- we just get to love them. We just get to trust them. We get to create the environment for them to learn and for them to flourish and for them to grow. And Human Design is just another aspect of that.
So, if you are listening and you're feeling like you're kind of struggling to accept or understand or whatever them, then maybe it would be helpful for you to learn a little bit more about this.
And it's been helpful for me just learning more about myself – I haven't really dug in a lot to my kids also – but I love this idea of just kind of understanding them more.
And whenever I've like intuitively sat down and thought about each of my children – and what they're like and what their needs are – they are really individual and they're really unique. And that has been so helpful just to remember like; I'm not the one here to like change them, I'm just here to be like a mentor and just to love and accept them.
Geralyn Brennan: Absolutely.
How to connect with Geralyn Brennan
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, thank you for sharing all of your knowledge and experience. And if people would love to learn more about this or maybe even get a Human Design reading – if you don't know what that is, that is like where you put in your birth date, time, whatever…and you get a chart – and then Geralyn will tell you-- explain what all of the numbers and symbols mean because it can be a little bit confusing.
Geralyn Brennan: Absolutely.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. How do they reach out to you?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Awesome. Awesome. We will have a link to those both in the show notes for you today. And thanks so much for being here.
Geralyn Brennan: Absolutely. Thank you.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Thanks for listening. If you'd like to help spread this work to the world, share this episode on social media and tag me – send it to a friend, or leave a quick rating and review below so more people can find me. If you'd like more guidance on your own parenting journey, reach out.