S07|11 - Your Cyclical Superpowers: Menstruation, Perimenopause and Embracing Your Feminine Lifestyle with Ashlee Sorenson
Oct 16, 2023
Why is no one talking about perimenopause? And how can we support ourselves through it in healthy ways? How do our hormones and cycles connect to our food and lifestyle choices? We dig into all of this and more with Ashlee on the podcast today.
Ashlee is a certified menstrual and hormone coach for women. Her experience with PMS, debilitating period pain, and perimenopause symptoms ultimately led her to learn more about how food and lifestyle affect hormone health. She has helped countless women ease uncomfortable symptoms of hormone imbalance and embrace their feminine energy. Ashlee is passionate about teaching women about the power of the menstrual cycle and the cyclical superpowers that come with being a hormonal woman.
What we cover in this episode:
- Ashlee’s story of heavy periods, endometriosis and difficult cycles
- How endometriosis affected her cycles and life, and what she found that helped
- Cycles, hormone health and how our lifestyle and food can impact our hormones in huge ways
- Signs of perimenopause and what to look out for
- What to do to support yourself with healthy boundaries as you prepare your body for perimenopause and menopause
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Episode Transcript
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Your Cyclical Superpowers: Menstruation, Perimenopause and Embracing Your Feminine Lifestyle with Ashlee Sorenson
Why is no one talking about perimenopause, and how can we support ourselves through it in healthy ways? How do our hormones and cycles connect to our food and lifestyle choices? We dig into all of this and more with Ashlee on the podcast today.
What we cover in this episode; Ashlee's story of heavy periods, endometriosis and difficult cycles…how endometriosis affected her cycles and her life, and what she found that helped in huge ways…cycles, hormone health, and how our lifestyle and food can impact our hormones…signs of perimenopause and what to look out for…and what to do to support yourself with healthy boundaries as you prepare your body for perimenopause and menopause.
Ashlee Sorenson's background, and what she does
Ashlee is a Certified Menstrual and Hormone Coach for women. Her experience with PMS, debilitating period pain, and perimenopause symptoms ultimately led her to learn more about how food & lifestyle affect hormone health. She has helped countless women ease uncomfortable symptoms of hormone imbalance and embrace their feminine energy. Ashlee is passionate about teaching women about the power of the menstrual cycle and the cyclical superpowers that come with being a hormonal woman.
Hello everyone, and welcome to today's podcast episode. This is going to be such a good episode. I'm really excited to ask all of the questions that I have and get so much more information about this topic. So, I hope this is helpful for you as well. Maybe we'll just start with you introducing yourself, Ashlee. Tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do.
Ashlee Sorenson: Okay. Hi everyone. My name is Ashlee Sorenson, and I am a Menstrual and Hormone Coach for women. So, I am a Certified Functional Health Coach. So, I focus on the root cause of certain health issues, and not just treating symptoms.
I decided that I wanted to specifically focus on Menstruation and Hormones because that has been such a big deal in my own life. My periods have always been painful.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 21, been through infertility, now I'm in perimenopause. And so, you know, I started experiencing perimenopause symptoms five years ago when I was 37; and I didn't feel like I had the support that I really longed for that I needed, I couldn't find it.
Nobody was talking about it. My mom had had a hysterectomy shortly after giving birth to me, so she didn't experience perimenopause. And like, it's a lot like menstruation; we just don't go around talking about it, you know?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I feel like more and more people now are talking about menstruation and tracking cycles, but I feel like it's still not really spoken. Like perimenopause and menopause isn't really a main focus, or at least from what I see.
Ashlee Sorenson: For sure. I absolutely agree. And so, that is what really-- And it took me a little bit of time to get the courage to focus my coaching practice on that. But I'm so grateful that I did because it's so needed, and I love being that. I love being like the Menstrual and Hormone poster child.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. I also love that it was like your own story that got you there because, isn't that so true with all of us?
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah. For sure.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Like, I used to think that the people that were like so good at what they do are good at that because they were just naturally good at that. And then like, the more that I learned about it, I was like, 'Oh no, wait, they were actually really struggling with that.'
Ashlee Sorenson: Right.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And that's totally the case with me too; parenting was the thing that was like the hardest for me in the entire, entire, entire world.
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah. Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: It's so fascinating that then you're like…well, then you have to figure it out, you have to find tools and you have to work harder.
Ashlee Sorenson: Right. Yeah. Like I think we see a need, and we want to fill that need; and that was definitely the case for me.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Okay. So, tell me a little bit about your background as far as like education; like, how did you get into this or learn about it or whatever.
Ashlee Sorenson: Okay. I don't want to like give too much information, but I kind of have to; I kind of feel like I have to.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Okay, do it.
Ashlee Sorenson: So, in, I think it was 2017, 2018, my husband and I went to Africa to work with Mothers Without Borders.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Okay.
Ashlee Sorenson: And they work-- So, this was a nonprofit organization that works with vulnerable and orphan children. And it was a life-changing experience for both Ben and I. And the woman that was the CFO, or the CEO of Mothers Without Borders, is a life coach.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Oh, cool.
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah, and she came with us on this trip; and every evening after we had spent the day with the kids, she would do a little life coach teaching. I had no idea what she was doing. Like, I was like, I do not know what--
And of course, my husband was like, 'What in the world--?' Like, what is this? You know?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: But I was like, 'I love what you're--' It resonated so deeply with me. And I heard things that she said that I would say to Ben or like the other people that we were with, "Wasn't that amazing when Kathy said blah, blah?"
And they were like, "I didn't hear that, I did not hear her say that."
And so, it just really touched me and resonated with me; and I was like, 'I want more of this.'
And I remember saying to one of the other-- one of my friends that was with us there, I said, "She just seems like she's got this whole thing figured out…like she's got life figured out."
And she's like, 'Well, she kind of does…like, she's a life coach.'
And I was like, 'What?'
And so, when I got home from Africa, I was still on that high from just, like, what an amazing experience it was. And so, I put in, I typed in life coaching into the Apple Podcast search engine, and it brought up a life coaching podcast.
And I just started like binging it, and then found out that there was something called a Functional Health Coach. And I was like, that is right up my alley because I love health, I love nutrition. And so, I just dove in; and I haven't looked back.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: That is awesome. Okay. So, Functional, I've heard of Functional Medicine before. So, that's just more looking at like the whole thing, right? Like instead of just looking at one aspect.
Ashlee Sorenson: Right. So, when you go to a doctor, like Western Medicine is very much focused on treating symptoms.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Mm-hmm.
Ashlee Sorenson: And while that is important, like you want to be comfortable…you also want to-- Symptoms are a message from your body that something needs attention, right?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Right.
Ashlee Sorenson: It's your body like saying, "Hey, we need you to pay attention here." And so, a lot of times, a doctor will give you a prescription that only masks those symptoms; it's treating the symptom, it's not treating the root cause. So, I like to think of it as spraying Roundup on weeds versus pulling the weeds out by the root, if that makes sense.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. Yeah. It's kind of looking at what's below the surface.
Ashlee Sorenson: Exactly.
Ashlee's story of heavy periods, endometriosis and difficult cycles
Crystal The Parenting Coach: What started happening then with your cycles that got you into learning more about hormone health? So, you were dealing with endometriosis…had really hard, painful cycles.
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And how did this help?
Ashlee Sorenson: Okay. Yeah, I always had painful periods from the time I had my first period; they just got worse and worse the older I got. And when I was about 34, 35, I couldn't do it anymore. Like, I was like, 'I'm just going to get a total hysterectomy…I can't do this anymore, it's debilitating, it's affecting my mental health – like, my quality of life is just really suffering.'
And so, I actually found a very skilled surgeon that was able to do excision surgery of my endometriosis; and it changed my life, I felt so much better. But it was only a couple years after that surgery. You know, excision surgery, I should say, it is the gold standard for endometriosis. If you have endo or you know somebody that does, and you want to be treated for it, you want to see a doctor that does excision surgery. And so, I did it; it changed my life – but it was a couple years later, and my symptoms started coming back.
My doctor had moved to Atlanta to work with the surgical center that's specifically focused on endometriosis. There's not another endo surgeon that does excision surgery in my area. So, I was like, 'What am I going to do?'
How our lifestyle and food can impact our hormones
Ashlee Sorenson: I was really scared because my symptoms were starting to be painful again. And so, I went to the library one day, and I found this book that was called Beating Endo; and it was all about the way that food affects-- or symptoms of endometriosis and how you really can use food to heal your body.
And so, I dove into that and started eliminating things from my diet and playing around…like experimenting and realized that, 'Yeah, I am-- I have much more power over my health, over my body than I thought.'
And not to take anything away from a doctor, right? Like doctor-- my surgeon, Dr. Arrington, he did something that I could not do…what other doctors could not do. But we then I think need to instead just delegating our health completely to an MD or a PA or whatever, we have to do our own work.
I call it being your own health advocate. You know, sticking up for what you want and being educated on the options that are available to you, and really taking a front row seat in your healthcare and not just being like this passive bystander.
And so, yeah, that's really what kind of set me on this path of like, there is so much that I can do for my body that nobody has ever taught me. And I want other women to know this too, that you have--
Because it's a really terrible feeling to feel like there's nothing you can do; it's out of your control, you're a victim to your hormones, you're at the mercy of your menstrual cycle and your hormone dysfunction. That's a really disempowering place to be. And I knew that I wasn't the only woman that felt that way. And so, I--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Do you feel like it was mostly food that made the changes for you?
Ashlee Sorenson: Yes.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Like, when you started doing that.
Ashlee Sorenson: So, it was a combination-- I would say that it was mostly the food, but it was also a combination of my lifestyle as well. You know, before you hit record, we were talking about masculine and feminine energy.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: I do think that I have a lot of masculine energy, but I don't know how much of that is natural or has been ingrained in like, that's how I should be.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Mm-Hmm.
Ashlee Sorenson: I am very much somebody that is just always rushing around from thing to thing, and always has to be doing something – or I'm wasting time, I'm being lazy. You know, that was very much the mentality that I had; that was how I was raised. And so, that definitely was affecting my symptoms. You know, I think we're also taught like, 'Don't let your period slow you down, that's not an excuse to get out of stuff.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: So, I didn't want to appear weak, so I would go to work in excruciating pain, or after having been up all night with cramps and kind of had a little bit of a hangover from my pain meds. You know? I just felt-- Yeah, I felt very much at the mercy of my diagnosis.
And so, when I started changing the food – experimenting was really what I was doing – and then started switching around my lifestyle so I wasn't rushing around all the time because I also had a really bad PMS--
I felt like I turned into a different person that week before my period; and then the week after I started my period, I had to like apologize to a dozen people and be, 'Sorry, about last week…I had PMS.' You know? Yeah, changing my lifestyle, changing up my food is really what changed my life.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: I love that. Okay. Before we start to talk about perimenopause and menopause, I would love to know for you-- I've been tracking my cycle for several years and I feel like what you said, the masculine and feminine energy has been huge in my life. And so, leaning more into rest and out of like productivity, being connected to self-worth, right?
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Rest and relaxation and stillness and self-care and self-love and compassion and all of that has made a big difference. Also cycle tracking, which I think even just like leaning into my cycles, like, 'Okay, this is where I'm at now.'
Even that week before my period being like, 'Oh, this is why I feel so discouraged,' or, 'This is why I feel so sad today,' or whatever, has just kind of released some of that shame and judgment and pressure.
The food changes that Ashlee Sorenson made
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, I feel like that change has already happened and been great and going wonderfully, but I would love to learn more about food and what that kind of works for you. Like what foods you kind of started to eliminate and what foods you felt like made the biggest difference--
Ashlee Sorenson: Okay.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: -in your journey.
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah. So, I think that nutrition is very nuanced. And so, I can tell you what worked for me, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to be the right thing for you--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Right.
Ashlee Sorenson: -or that is the right thing for everybody to do. And I just want to make that perfectly clear; that just because I do it, I'm not saying, "Hey, this is what everybody should be doing." Right?
But because I have a disease that is very-- it acts like an autoimmune disease. And so, inflammatory foods are definitely an issue for me, but that's not the case with everybody. And even when other women that have endo, they may be able to eat dairy with no problem.
I can't do dairy. I don't do dairy, I don't do sugar, I don't do gluten, I don't do soy, I do very minimal grains, I don't do caffeine. So, that, you know-- And if a client comes to me and is like, 'I'm suffering, like I have really bad cramps.' I'm always like, 'Let's take out the dairy…let's take out the dairy, and just see how you feel in a couple of months.'
And usually that with coupled with, like, a magnesium supplement – I'm not kidding you, that can be a game-changer right there.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Wow.
Ashlee Sorenson: And so, it really is just kind of playing around with different things and seeing how-- I call it me search. You know, we're doing these little experiments to see how our body reacts and if we feel better. I think it is so much more powerful when you do things like that instead of someone just being like, 'You need to take out dairy, you need to take out gluten.' Right?
Like, if you can take it out for yourself and just look at it as an experiment and see how you feel, then the motivation to stay off of it is totally different because it's coming from within. It's not coming from somebody else telling you it's what you should do.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. And like the feminine-- One of the key aspects of feminine energy is intuition, right?
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, it's like tuning into yourself, becoming your own expert. And so, tuning into your body and, like, what do I think, would be a good place to start.
Ashlee Sorenson: Yes.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: And what do I think would be a good-- And like, yeah, getting information from other sources or reading or whatever is great, but then also tapping into; what feels good for me, what feels like a good starting spot?
Ashlee Sorenson: Yes. I'm so glad that you said that because, like I say that on my podcast all the time, I'm like, "I'm just going to share information with you and I just want you to see how it feels for you…like if you feel your body tightening up and you feel like a physical response from your body, listen to that, pay attention to that."
I think that intuition is powerful, and our body is trying to speak to us and let us know like, "Oh yeah, maybe we should-- maybe we should look into that more." And I think we immediately know when we're like, 'Eh, that doesn't sound right, that's not for me.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Totally. I remember just recently we went to this allergist, he's a pediatric allergist and he's amazing.
And my kids were dealing with him and he was telling us all this stuff, but one of the most interesting things that he said was like, "When kids have these food sensitivities that really bother them, and if you're eating that food that you're sensitive to, then your body actually responds as if it's like an allergy when it's not really an allergy." Like you can get all of these other symptoms.
So, he was like, 'Let's figure out what this food is, kind of, under the surface that your body's not responding to well.'
And so, so I was like, 'Yeah, I'm on board with that, whatever.'
And as he's explaining it, he's like, 'Well, when they were younger, what foods did they naturally have – were they naturally more averse to – and which ones did they like and which ones did they not like?'
And he was like, 'Our bodies know.'
He's like, 'We know what foods we want and what foods we don't want.'
And I was just like, 'Whoa, hold up.'
I was like, 'You've probably had--'
I mean, he's probably had 11, 12, 14 years of schooling, and you were basically telling me to like listen to my body. Like, this is amazing. I don't think I've ever had a western medical doctor--
Ashlee Sorenson: Right?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: -tell me to listen to my body in like such a scientific way. But he was like-- Anyways, but his description of it was so great; and I think it's so on par with like, yeah, listen to yourself.
Like when you were younger, before we had all these preconceived notions of things and like, you know, have been eating sugar for years, so it's hard to go off – when we were little, what made our bodies feel good and what didn't? And what makes our bodies feel good now and what doesn't?
Whenever I ask myself that question, I kind of already know what foods make me feel good.
Ashlee Sorenson: Absolutely.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Not necessarily what foods to avoid as well yet. Like I kind of know, but kind of don't. But I feel like as soon as I ask myself like, what foods does my body need?, it just knows, what foods it needs.
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah. Absolutely. I think you nailed it right on the head. I think that it's normal for us to not know, maybe necessarily the foods that don't feel good or aren't right for us…because I think that there's a lot of disconnect between the body and the spirit, you know what I mean? For a lot of us, because we're just--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Mm-Hmm.
Ashlee Sorenson: Really, we've really disconnected from our bodies. And so, trying to bring that back, and really get in touch with our body and trust our body when it sends us messages--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: It's normal to, you know, experience a symptom and get angry about it, and want to change it right away. At the beginning of the summer, I burnt my hand on the barbecue grill, like really bad; and I was immediately-- Like, I was crying like I was five, but I was so mad; I was so mad that that had happened.
I was like, 'This is going to-- Now I'm going to have to baby my hand, and I'm not going to be able to like do yoga and all of the stuff…can't wash the dishes or do whatever I need to do, what an inconvenience?'
And I went upstairs, after it had happened, and things kind of calmed down and I went upstairs; and I just had this-- It sounds kind of silly, but I just had this conversation with my body; and I'm like, "I totally trust you that you're going to take care-- you know how to heal, you know how to heal."
Like, I'm going to do what I can to baby my hand, but our body knows how to heal itself. And like wounds can heal with…like, I could do nothing to my hand and it would heal.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: Right? And so--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Which is like magical when you think about it.
Ashlee Sorenson: It really-- It really, really is. And so, just kind of trusting your body and just loving your body for what it-- Yeah, they're imperfect; they're supposed to be imperfect. But just loving and supporting it and doing what you can while it heals, I think is huge.
How changing the diet helps during perimenopause
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Okay, let's dig into perimenopause then. So, you did all this change within your cycles through food, and you noticed what? Like, what started to happen as you did that?
Ashlee Sorenson: My pain went away, and it was within one cycle--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Wow.
Ashlee Sorenson: -that I was like, wow. And I didn't take everything out at once, I started-- Because then you don't know, right?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Right. Mm-Hmm.
Ashlee Sorenson: So, it was, I had taken dairy out, and because I kind of intuitively knew that that was-- I had put some connections together in the past, and I knew that that was one for me. So, I took it out, and I felt so much better…because my pelvic pain isn't just when I'm menstruating, it's throughout the month.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Right.
Ashlee Sorenson: And so, I noticed right away.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Wow. And so, then over time, your pain started getting better. Did you ever have to have excision surgery again or not?
Ashlee Sorenson: No. No, I've never gone back to my doctor about that's.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: That's amazing.
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah. It's in remission. Like I have no symptoms of it. It's amazing.
Ashlee's earlier experience with perimenopause
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Wow. That's amazing. Okay. So, you went through that; and tell us how you started learning more about perimenopause and helping women through that.
Ashlee Sorenson: When I was 37, I started getting-- The reason why-- I think the reason why my period started getting painful again was because I was in perimenopause and I didn't know it. Because our periods can get painful; like we can get cramps like we did when we were young--
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah. Uh-huh.
Ashlee Sorenson: -in perimenopause because of declining progesterone, and that's what I was experiencing. And I think that that's what was causing it; I don't know, for sure. But, you know, I think that that had something to do with it.
And so, I started getting that. My periods started getting really heavy. I started gaining weight, I started waking up at 3:00 AM. Like, I've always been a really good sleeper; and so, I'd wake up at 3:00 AM. And sometimes I'd be up for the rest of the day.
And so, I'm like, 'What is going on? This is insane.'
So, I went to my doctor and she was like, it's your endometriosis.
Like, oh, and I was spotting; I started spotting during the middle of my cycle.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Oh, wow.
Ashlee Sorenson: And that was-- That was new too.
And she was like, 'Spotting is really normal with endo.'
This was just my normal, you know, general family doctor. But I knew intuitively, I knew that that wasn't right; something was going on. Something was off; I didn't feel myself…I didn't feel right.
So, I went to a Functional Medicine doctor and told her-- And she specialized in hormones. And I told her, and she's like, 'You're in perimenopause.'
And I was like, 'What is that?'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: I've never heard-- All I heard was the pause part; and I'm like, 'I'm too young to be in menopause.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes.
Ashlee Sorenson: And she's like, 'Well, this is perimenopause.'
And I said, "I don't know what that-- I don't know what that is, I've never even heard that word before."
And she's like, 'Well, this is the time around menopause when-- this is when you will start to experience symptoms."
And I was like, 'Well, I'm only 37.'
She's like, 'Yeah, it usually starts around the age of 35…like it's starting younger and younger in women.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: When did it use to start? Like, if it didn't--
Ashlee Sorenson: In our-- In like forties.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Huh?
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Interesting.
Ashlee Sorenson: But because we're exposed-- because of our lifestyle, because we're exposed to so many toxins…yeah, it's just kind of like puberty is happening early and earlier.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. Yes, way younger. Like girls get their periods so much younger than when I was younger.
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah.
Symptoms of perimenopause and what to look out for
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, that makes sense that perimenopause used to start in the 40s, now it's starting around 35. What symptoms do we look for if we feel like that might be happening to us also?
Ashlee Sorenson: So, I think that one of the very first things that you notice is the weird cycles. So, you will have a cycle that is really long; it may be 45 days, 35 days. You know? Just longer than what you're used to.
And then the next cycle might be really short, so it might be a couple of weeks; you might have two periods in a month, that is really unnerving for somebody that has very regular cycles.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Mm-hmm.
Ashlee Sorenson: Because it's like, what is going on?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: And so, that's what I mean. Like, you go to the doctor and they're like, 'Well, here's the pill, just start taking the pill and that's going to just regulate things.'
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: They don't say anything like, "Well, this is just the natural part of your hormones changing, the older you get."
And so, it has to do with, you know, progesterone is the first hormone that starts to decline in perimenopause, but nobody tells us that.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: And so, that is like the first thing that I noticed and that I think that my clients start to notice. I think when we think of menopause, we think of hot flashes.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yes. Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: And hot flashes usually don't happen until later on because they're the cause of low estrogen, which happens later on in the transition into menopause. So, weird cycles, waking up in the middle of the night, heavy bleeding, painful periods; those are probably the most common things, the first symptoms of perimenopause.
What to do to support yourself with healthy boundaries as you prepare your body for perimenopause and menopause
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, what do you do when somebody comes to you and you feel like they're tracking their cycles, they kind of think it's probably perimenopause? What would you tell them to do right now?
Ashlee Sorenson: So, I would-- I advise them to just, we're going to keep on tracking. First of all, I educate them on why it's happening; it doesn't mean that anything's gone wrong or that you're doing anything wrong. And to keep tracking their cycles.
It's a little bit trickier when you're in perimenopause, but I think that it's really helpful to keep track of your symptoms, your mood, your energy when you can. One of the number one things that-- I mean, our lifestyle has to change once we hit perimenopause; it can't just be business as usual.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: That is like the biggest thing that I have noticed about it in myself and for my clients. Like, you can't just-- Boundaries need to be in place. And this is really a time where you need to figure out what you need and tend to those needs because nobody is going to be like, 'Hey, you know what, Crystal? You should really like take a load off.' You know?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: 'You should go rest for the afternoon.'
Ashlee Sorenson: Yeah, yeah.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: No.
Ashlee Sorenson: 'You really need to that.' And so, we have to-- We have to be willing to say no. And we need to, you know, decide what our boundaries are and then honor them…and kind of get out of this rushing woman's lifestyle and tend to our needs.
A lot of insecurities that showed up for us in puberty can then resurface in perimenopause, which is really interesting. And so, you know, things that maybe you struggled with as a youth, they're going to resurface.
And so, there's a lot of emotional healing that needs to take place as well. And so, we really need to make space for all of it and be patient with ourselves because this is a process. Perimenopause isn't an overnight thing; it is a process of many years.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: How many years approximately?
Ashlee Sorenson: So, it can be up to 12 years. On average it's like seven years, but it can be up to 12 years. The average age for a woman to reach menopause in the US is 51. I always tell women, "Ask your mom when she hit menopause, because that'll be a good indicator when you will as well."
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Yeah.
Ashlee Sorenson: Or if you have like older sisters, you can ask them because there is, kind of, that genetic link there.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: That is so much good information. I feel like that's so helpful just to notice like, 'Okay, what's happening in my body? Maybe my body's not crazy.' Right? Because when things, especially like you said, when you have such regular cycles for things to start changing…you're like, 'Wait a second, what's happening?' Or spotting when you've never had that before.
Yeah. So, I love all that information that you gave us. And just like knowing that you're probably going to have to make some shifts in your lifestyle – both in like emotional healing and maybe food and, you know, movement and rest and pause…and not so go, go, go, go, go all the time, which is very the feminine energy versus the masculine energy of doing things.
Ashlee Sorenson: Right.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: So, I love that. I love that.
Ashlee Sorenson: Right. I tell women, when it comes to like tracking the menstrual cycle, you know, after ovulation through like day three of our period, that's really a time when you want to embrace the feminine energy.
And I think that that is such good preparation-- For any listener out there that has not reached menopause, I really encourage you to start paying attention to your menstrual cycle and start slowing things down after ovulation until those first couple days of your bleed because it really is preparation for setting you up for boundaries when you're in perimenopause.
Like, you're already going to have those boundaries established; and it's going to be a lot easier for you in perimenopause.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: When you talk about boundaries, you mean things like giving yourself more rest and getting more sleep and--
Ashlee Sorenson: And saying no to doing everything. You know? You may have been able to do that really well in your 20s and early 30s and it didn't bother you at all…but once you get into perimenopause, you literally cannot handle stress the same way as you did when you were younger.
And so, it's really easy to feel overwhelmed. Like you just can't handle one more thing on your plate or one more person giving you a task to do. You know? And so, you really have so much energy to give and you need to decide intentionally where you're going to get it; what are your values, and where do you want to spend your energy?
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Perfect. That is such a good stopping spot; what are your values and where do you want to spend your energy? And preparing yourself now to set those boundaries in place and to have those lifestyle shifts in place…so that when perimenopause and menopause come, you already are so well supported and taken care of.
And I think boundaries too are like; what foods am I going to let into my body, and what's is my sleep hygiene going to be, and how am I going to treat myself emotionally and physically?
So, I love everything that you've said.
How to connect with Ashlee Sorenson
Crystal The Parenting Coach: If anyone wants to reach out to you and get more information about perimenopause or hormones or cycle tracking or functional nutrition, how would they reach you?
Ashlee Sorenson: So, I am on Instagram, you can find me, @heyashleenoel. So, it's A-S-H-L-E-E N-O-E-L. And then if you click the link in my Instagram bio, that will bring up like the links to my courses. I have courses on menstruation. I'm doing a perimenopause class in September; I'd love to have you come to that. And I also have a podcast called A Bit Better Every Day.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Perfect. Thank you so much, Ashlee. Thank you for joining us, and for all of your great information and sharing your story with us.
Ashlee Sorenson: Yes. Thank you so much for having me, Crystal.
Crystal The Parenting Coach: Thanks for listening. If you'd like to help spread this work to the world, share this episode on social media and tag me – send it to a friend, or leave a quick rating and review below so more people can find me. If you'd like more guidance on your own parenting journey, reach out.
